My very good friends:
I return to post the night before the big pilgrimage to Winged Foot for the 2nd round of the U.S. Open. I have also returned to turn the screws a little tighter, whether it brings the jinx, or not.
THE U.S. OPEN AT WINGED FOOT
There's not much to say here, folks. The course just laid waste to the pro's and made them look like a bunch of us guys. Was that beautiful, or what? I mean, I probably would have carded a 145. But one guy under par? One stinkin' guy? Oh, the words that come to mind......Precious.....Sweet.....Gnarly, dude......How'd that feel? I hope I don't get any tick bites wading through the 5 to 8 inch rough tomorrow. Jesus, we might be able to find Hoffa and Amelia Earhart if we look good enough.
Do you think the members of Winged Foot let the children who live in the surrounding area go sledding on the greens in winter time? Perhaps the U.S. Olympic ski team could practice moguls and the downhill around the greens areas. Maybe Bode Miller could show up for a medal next Olympics if he were to practice at Winged Foot. Jeez, it could only bring in more membership dues money for the club, right? "I say, Harriet, is that man snow boarding off the 10th green?"
"Why yes, Reginald, I believe he's pulling a 540 tail grab with an Ollie."
"Oh Harriet, talk like that some more, I believe my member moved."
" Oh, Dahling."
Look for me, Roy, Chuck, and the Palooka on TV tomorrow as we will be the ones knuckle deep in our noses when the camera pans by as Tiger (a 6-over 76 and 7 shots back of Monty after Round 1) pulls out his new Titleist Machete Iron to negotiate a particularly tough lie on the 16th, hoping to make the cut as the sun begins to set. Soccer hooligans, my arse!!
http://www.usopen.com
THE NEW YORK METS
Oh, how sweet it is! Yeah, it may be too early to crow, but we might as well be 1986-style pains in the asses while we can. The rest of the National League, the Eastern Division especially, can just kiss our ass right now. I think we may have already clinched a Wild-Card spot (barring injury of course). It is June 15, and the Metropolitans are 9.5 games up on the 2nd place Phillies. And when, my friends, when was the last time the Mets had a 12 game lead on the HATED Braves from Atlanta? I hope the fans in Atlanta remember what it was like when Sherman came through during the War Between the States. Burn you mofo's, burn.
Hey, how're them Yankees looking right now, huh? I'd say they're looking old. Let me hear it people...."SWEEEEET." The Baltmur Oreos come to town to try to cool down the Mets over this weekend. It's been a long time coming. If I was in the stands I'd begin a European Soccer Fan chant in the stands. "Oh, We Play Hard! We give Our All! So You Can Kiss Our Bats And Kiss Our Balls!" THAT, my friends, would be the highlight to my baseball season. To hear the whole crowd at a Mets game singing like a Eurpoe soccer crowd, the words I've just written.....why I could die a happy man. LET'S GO METS!!
You can follow the goings on in baseball at: http://www.mlb.com
Well, folks, it's off to bed for your ranting blog master, as I have a 5:00 a.m. departure time. Enjoy the sunny, warm weekend. Please remember that Len Is Right.
Cause I am,
Len Tollerton
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