BACK TO SCHOOL

Hello people:
It has been fully one week since my last post. I have to apologize, as I have been occupied with the return of the school season. I trust everyone got back alright.

The lovely Patty began the week with days of meetings before the kids finally entered her classroom on Wednesday. And although she is sure that at least 2 of her students are potential criminals, they've actually surprised her with good behavior, so far. It's only a matter of time till their true nature rears its ugly head.

Connor (the older of my two clones) began 7th grade Thursday. I think he'll do fine this year, though things will be different for him as he will now be changing classes every period. After counting, he found that he has around 12 or 13 teachers this year. Some of the kids get a little worried about changing classes because that comfortable core that they usually get used to is no longer there. However, it's very necessary because it gets them ready for how things will be in High School. He's pretty smart and usually adapts well, so I have no worries.

The other guy? That's another story. Jackson has been worried since he found out he has Miss Cummings for 4th grade. She is old, nearing retirement, and is rumored to be mean. So, of course, he comes home in tears because the first day the teacher did nothing but raise her voice to the class and yelled at the kids individually if they made a mistake. She started the year off by saying, "I'm sure you've heard that I'm the meanest teacher in this school.....Well, it's true." Things went downhill from there. Jackson is a smart kid who pulls straight A's. A teacher like this could change his views about school. Mommy, reluctant to label herself as a "nightmare parent," has already sent off a letter to the principal, whom she knows, complaining about the teacher's first day's tactics. She's prepared to pull him out of her class if it continues.

THE FANTASY DRAFT
The 15th season of the Big Boy Sports Fantasy Football League, which I started back in 1992, held their player draft on Wednesday evening. Yours truly's team, the Assassins, had the 2nd pick in the First Round, and chose San Diego's LaDanian Tomlinson. The First Round went as expected except for 2 picks. I was surprised to see the Foxxers take Peyton Manning with the 4th pick, thinking that was kind of early to be taking a QB. The strangest pick was definitely the Titans choosing Marvin Harrison, receiver extraordinaire of the Colts, with the 6th Pick. It's generally considered a bad move to draft a Receiver in the First Round. But the Titans' owner was trying to duplicate his draft, round-for-round, from his other league. He does not like rooting for players from one league when he has to root against the same players in the other league.

The oddest move of the night came when the Rollers owner picked Marshall Faulk of the Rams. Faulk is out for the season because of an injury and surgery and is now doing TV work. Rollers owner said he heard that Faulk would eventually play this year. But we already know he's been shut down for the season. Though that pick shows a lack of preparation, the Rollers, nevertheless, have drafted a great Receiving team, and injuries aside, could do very well if his team comes healthy. Rollers owner is the only one of the original team owners to NEVER win the championship. We'll see what happens.

SCUMBAG MOVE OF THE NIGHT
At one point in the draft I made a mistake in calling out whose turn it was. I told Rollers it was their pick. They chose Deuce McAllister, RB from New Orleans. I went one more pick before I realized I had made a mistake and that Rollers pick slot should have gone to defending champion Kaos Kids. Rollers had to give McAllister back until Kaos made their pick. Brian of Kaos IS Kevin of the Rollers' brother. Kaos clearly did not know who to pick, and needing a RB, and not realizing that McAllister was available, did the All-Time Scumbag move of any draft and decided to take (or STEAL) the pick away from his brother by selecting McAllister. It was, AT ONCE, the most Unsportsmanlike act ever to happen in League history. I, as Commissioner, cannot do anything, because it was my original mistake, and the rules were not broken. But C'mon. You guys on Kaos really branded yourselves Thieves and the rest of the League knows what they're dealing with from now on. I mean, if McAllister was the guy you were about to take, then I can see it, no problem. But you guys had NO IDEA that he was even there. AND, you did it to your own brother (cousin)!!
WOW.

THE HEELS ARE THE THING
Ladies, I want to speak to you about something and clear some things up. Actually, just one thing. If you're a woman who is in a relationship, be it a marriage, dating, significant others, whatever...you should know something about guys. Yes, we like it when you dress up in lingerie for intimate times. But that's not really that important. I mean, it's nice but, it's not necessary. And I know that it's kind of alot of work to do when it's going to be taken off very quickly after the festivities begin.

But ladies, the truth is that guys like heels. We like it when you wear the shoes. High heels, Candies, platform sandals, high-heel clogs, you name it. If it's got a heel or wedge of 2"-5", your guy will be happy. It's worth it for a number of reasons. One, it makes your legs look great regardless of what your legs look like. It gives a little definition to your calves and accentuates the curve of your legs. Purely esoteric, but important. Two, it makes everyone feel sexier. Nothing puts people in the mood for good love-making like a good pair of high-heels. It makes the guy hot, and it makes the lady wearing them feel horny because she knows she looks sexier. When you look sexy, you feel sexy. Three, they don't have to get torn off to get down to business. The lingerie, generally, has to come off. But the shoesies can stay on the entire time, unless it's uncomfortable for the woman.

Now, I am NOT someone who has a foot fetish. I'm not into sucking on toes or anything like that. But I can honestly say that I would rather see the woman with a tee-shirt or nothing AND the shoes, than the full lingerie get-up with NO shoes. In fact, I'm not even a fan of stockings. They get in the way and build an unnecessary barrier between my tongue and her leg. Can you dig what I'm saying? Are you feeling me, dog?

This is just something for you all to consider as you make your way through your daily life. Flats don't cut it. Ladies, I know they're ALOT more comfortable. And, truly, I believe you should spend the better part of your life feeling comfortable. But really, the heels are the thing when push comes to shove. Heels get noticed, regardless of what else is there.

And you all know, though I don't have to say it, that when it comes to a topic like this, that.........................
LEN IS MOST DEFINITELY RIGHT!!

I am, as usual,
Len Tollerton
I appreciate any comments you may have.