A BIRTHDAY NOTE, NCAA HOOP, AND WEEDS

People O'Mine:
Hey now! Len Is Right back here again to mention a couple of things that I let go and wanted to talk about.

First, a birthday. Last Friday night I was up to good friend Chuck's house to celebrate his 49th birthday. Chuck is the Edge of Darkness. Also attending was Roy the G. B. King and Chris the Dot Com Destroyer. Just a little poker and a party celebration on a TERRIBLE night weather-wise. Blinding snow storm in the Capital Region dumped about 16 inches on us and forced me and Roy to sleep at Chuck's. It was fun, though, and we played cards until around 3:00 a.m. This is strange for us, as I usually leave around 12:30 cause it's a 35-minute ride home. So anyway, Happy Birthday Chuck, and many happy returns. Next year we will be holding the Chuck Luce turns 50 poker tourney. Stay tuned.

THE NCAA HOOP TOURNEY AND BRACKET SHEETS
Folks, I gotta tell ya, I hate basketball. I used to be a big fan, but it's turned into a game for Me-First thugs and no more resembles the game I remember than does a tuna sandwich. So, it was with a completely apathetic, non-caring attitude that I greeted the NCAA tournament and the inevitable bracket sheet contests that many people play every year.

This was supposed to have been my second year in a row that I decided NOT to turn in a sheet for the contest. My reasons for not playing are as follows: I've never been close to cashing in 10 years of trying. I fucking DETEST hoop. I especially dislike the NBA (though I try to follow the progress of my cousin, Matt Carroll, who plays for the Charlotte Bobcats---and is having a very good year). I don't care who wins, who plays, who the stars are, which conference does best, and I don't bet the games.....again because I couldn't care less. I would sooner go off of a ski jump in Lake Placid and risk life and limb flying through the air, than watch a single hoop game or bet on which team happens to cover the spread.

MANHOOD INSULTED...
However, one of my closest friends decided that I was un-American and that I was, and I quote, "half a queer" for not getting into the contest. He doesn't understand how a guy doesn't want to follow college hoop and bet the games and get into the contest. And again, I had to hear about this 2nd hand. I love being called a queer behind my back. (No offense to any gay folks out there in the audience, who may be reading this, but it's like calling a white guy a nigger instead of a cracker) So, not liking my manhood questioned and playing into his BULLSHIT, I got into a contest, albeit run by someone else, that I could easily follow online.

The result so far? There were 208 entries into this particular contest and after Round 1 I was in 154th place. After Round 2, I was in a little better shape at 108th place, but definitely already out of any chance of getting in the money. I may have had a little more fun actually setting a $10 bill on fire and watching it burn, or making it into a paper airplane and seeing if I could fly it into my toilet.

My thanks to Joe Gunther for thinking of me and letting me into his contest at the last minute. To my other friends, I'd like to make something perfectly clear, so there is no mistake next year or anytime after that. I HATE BASKETBALL!!! Is that easily understood? Do you finally get the fact that I don't care who wins, who loses, or if every team has to forfeit because of rampant diarhhea. I don't wish to bet games, don't care who's playing and except for my cousins Matt and Pat Carroll, couldn't care less if the game was eliminated off the face of the earth, except that many inner city kids would have no sport to play.

Hey look, hoop is great exercise and a great sport to PLAY. I guess when I say that I hate hoop, I mean I will not follow it. When Julius Erving retired I lost all interest. And I can't conciously follow a sport where many of the elite collegians will one day become the Ron Artests and Allen Iversons of the NBA.

So, please don't bother me with basketball shit anymore. I am not interested. I will gamble on many things. But I've stopped sports betting because I really have no control over it, I SUCK at it, and truthfully, I would rather risk my money on things I DO have control over, like a hand of poker.

WEEDS
There is a show on Showtime that has been on for a couple of years called Weeds. It's about a woman, recently widowed, who has to become a pot dealer in her neighborhood to make ends meet and keep her house. I had to rent the DVD's of it because I don't have Showtime. Let me tell you folks, I think it's freakin' hilarious. I'm looking forward to renting the 2nd season, and I HIGHLY (no pun intended) recommend you check it out if you haven't seen it already. It stars the beautiful and sexy Mary Louise Parker along with the beautiful and sexy Elizabeth Perkins. Take my advice and watch it. I think you'll agree.

Until next time, my friends, please remember that LEN IS RIGHT.

I am,
Len Tollerton