DO AGE AND WISDOM BRING COMPASSION?

Hey, you people:
Today, I ask a question that I have been pondering off and on for a few years. As we get older, and we gain wisdom, do we also gain compassion that we may not have had in our youth?

Wow, that's kind of deep, isn't it? Not your normal fare for this site. Anyway...it's easy, to me, to be able to understand why we gain wisdom with age. Alot of it has to do with making mistakes and learning from your errors. So, I believe that wisdom is learned. Oh sure, you may gain insight and forethought. But do you, or can you, learn FEEL?

What I mean is, can a person LEARN to become compassionate towards others? I'll get to the point with an example. Go back to your High School days and think about the kids who were the nerds, geeks, dweebs, outcasts, afterthoughts, and nobodies. Were you one of those kids? Were you one of the people that picked on those kids? Think about that person now. If you don't see them often, do you know how they turned out? Did they excel in their life after being freed from the hellish bonds that WERE High School? Or did they remain the enigma, oddity, or outcast they were influenced to be in their youth?

I know that kids are kids. I also know that the kids that were picked on had humility and compassion, because that's generally what they were hoping to receive from others. Or just to be left alone. True, also, is the fact that the kids who were the ones dishing it out generally had little or no compassion, because they were able to pick on an easy target.

SO, NOW WHAT?
Well, earlier a name came up that I remembered from High School, of a kid was kind of an outcast during those years. This led me to think about some other kids I had known from 5th Grade till the end of High School that were in the same boat. Also, I thought about my own kid. My older son is in the "nerdy-video game-non athletic-geeky" vein. Happily, he has a good bunch of friends that he hangs out with in school that are the same. Back in November, he had a couple of instances in school that he was disciplined for, that stemmed from getting picked on by other kids for being "different." I think back and remember how I was in BOTH groups at different times. I got picked on, and I was one of the kids doing the teasing.

My wife and I talk about kids we went to school with (we've known each other since 7th Grade), that were the outcasts, and sometimes wonder about them. You find yourself saying, "Hey, remember crazy Joe Public?", or, "Do you remember the day we made Fiona Whatshername cry?" So, I gotta ask ya, how do you think you would feel if you knew people remembered you for ONLY that? "Remember Billy? He always smelled like mildew. Do you think he ever started showering regularly?" Then you find out years later that the kid's home life was terrible, he was neglected, or his family was dirt poor and couldn't afford soap. And you KNOW it will always follow that person. I know 2 guys who were accused of molesting cats when they were younger. Not kidding. The one guy went through the rest of the years I knew him, referred to as "Cat Man." Now, if the guy goes to his High School Reunion, some asshole is going to call him that to his face, or behind his back, before the night is through.

So where and when does compassion come? The funny thing is, is that if you're not the target of this stuff, there can be some good comedy to come out of it. Just in aside comments alone. I mean, some of the funniest shit I've seen or heard has been at someone else's expense, be it slapstick comedy, stand-up, or just live--hanging out with your friends.

No doubt, we all have to grow thicker skins as we get older. If you let the same stuff bother you 20 years from now, you haven't learned the lesson, or learned how to cope. But where does compassion come in? I guess you have to learn it, just like wisdom. But it, too, has to come with hard knocks. I think you have to be on the short end of the stick a few times, or many times, to see how it feels to be the outcast. I know guys that have NEVER been in that position. Always been popular, never had consistent setbacks, lived fortunate lives. I know guys that have been bullies all their lives and have never had to deal with the opposite. I think the lesson is lost on these folks and I wonder if they'll EVER get it.

To the people I've been a jerk to, I hope I've redeemed myself since then. If not, I hope to, one day. To those that picked on me, hey, fuck off!! No, I'm kidding. It took me getting picked on to be able to laugh at myself and grow a thicker skin. Because, I think we all know that if you can laugh at yourself, you can make it through any situation.

Did you actually stay and read that whole post? I give ya credit.
LEN IS RIGHT is happy you stopped by.
Be well, minions.
I am,
Len Tollerton