I am posting for a second straight day, much to the delight of those of you who feel that a 5-day gap between postings is too long. You people are obviously like crack addicts when it comes to Len Is Right. It may be time to develop an Ezine. But I get ahead of myself. LOL I have just returned from soccer practice with a couple of thoughts on the do's and don'ts of Youth sports.
YOUTH SPORTS AND COMMITMENT
I returned a short while ago from my son's soccer practice in a frustrated state. I am not one of the coaches, but I do go to every game and practice, and try to help out when I can. So here is the situation. We show up for practice and it ends up being my son and one other kid who is the daughter of our Asst. coach. 45 minutes of having 2 kids pass the ball back and forth and shoot on net, make for a frustrating practice, I can tell you. So, in typical Len fashion, I will go over the needs and courtesies of parents who involve their children in Youth sports.
LEN'S STEADFAST RULES FOR YOUTH SPORTS
Now listen up folks, because this is kind of serious. I'm tired of showing up to practices and games and seeing parents who'd rather be laying on the couch than showing an interest in their children's activities.
First off, you need to determine why your kid is playing a sport. Is the kid interested in that sport? Are you getting the kid involved in sports for A). the physical exercise, B). the fun and love of playing a sport, C). learning the team dynamic and helping to learn how to get along and work with others. Are you doing it to foster other interests besides TV watching and video game expertise? All of these are admirable and good reasons to have your kids in sports. But be honest with yourself. Do you get your kid involved with sports because you want the kid out of your hair, or because you're so busy with your career and your other personal dramas to spend the necessary quality time with your kid?
After determining your reasons, you need to decide how much of a commitment you're willing to make to this activity or activities. Nothing is worse than a parent who just drops their kid off at practice or a game and shows up at the end.
Are you the kind of person who says you'll coach and then just shows up for games hoping the kids "just have fun". Look, here's one of the things about Youth sports, and this is important. Yes, it's all about the kids having fun. Yes it's about trying to instruct kids in how the game is played. But at a certain point, you need to know that the fun and happy times of Tee Ball or Kindergarten soccer, or whatever, changes drastically as kids get a little older and they progress through certain sports programs. Does winning and losing matter? In the long run, no, because they're not doing it for money, and they're not doing it for glory. However, there comes a point when competition increases (in Little League baseball it's around the age of 9), and the "Oh look how cute, who cares who wins" mentality needs to fade out. Why? Pay attention, because this is important. Because to some of the kids, winning DOES matter, getting better IS important, and paying attention to what's going on shows courtesy to your teammates. Can you understand that? Can you wrap yourself around that thought and embrace it? To many of the kids, IT DOES MATTER.
What does this mean to you, as a parent? Here's a list of things that really should be adhered to if you're going to get your kid into Youth sports.
1.--If you're going to sign up as a coach, you need to be at EVERY practice and EVERY game. Alright, I'll relent a little. You can miss ONE of each. But really, if you're going to sign up, then you need to commit to hold regular practices and show up early for the games. If you don't show a commitment, your players are going to know right away that you don't really care. If you're the coach or manager, then act like one!!
2.--If you are the manager, or lead coach, then you need to communicate well with all of the parents of your players. You need to make sure that they know exactly when practices will be held, and remind them of when the games are. Down leave any stones unturned in this regard, or you give people the chance to hit you with a whole slew of LAME excuses.
3.--If you're not a coach, then you need to make darn sure that you get your kid to 90% of the practices. Why is this so important? Imagine that you're coaching a kids baseball team and you go to practice and 5 kids show up. What kind of quality baseball practice do you think you're going to have? You as a parent need to respect the coaches and the other players enough to know that the team needs to practice in the way it would play real games. All the positions need to be covered. This applies to all sports. When I managed a baseball team, if you regularly missed practice, then you didn't get as much playing time as the kids that did show up all the time. And if that meant sitting one of my better players because he missed 3 practices in a row, in favor of a kid who had no talent, but showed up to every practice, so be it. And if it caused us to lose, then maybe the parents of the kids would get the message.
4.--It really helps if you, as a parent, hang out during practices. Why? If your kid is acting up and is being disruptive, it shouldn't be on the coach's shoulders to discipline your kid and then have you find out, second-hand, what happened, or why little Bobby isn't going to be playing all 6 innings, or starting at running back this week. It's your kid, you are responsible.
5.--As I said earlier, to some kids winning and losing does matter. Getting better and improving your skills does matter. And when they see kids on the team dogging it, or not paying attention and having no clue as to what the situation is during the game, it is disrespectful to the kids that are trying to play hard and learn the game. It's like disrupting a class in school and making the teacher go back and do the whole lesson all over because you wanted to screw around with the kid in front of you. Now the rest of the class has to sit throught the whole thing all over again. What a waste of the teacher's and the rest of the class' time. So if your kid is going to play a sport, you need to make sure you tell your kid, "Hey, it's time to get into (insert your kid's sport here) mode. I need you to focus on this activity for the next hour or so. No video games, no Pokemon, no Green Day. Let's pay attention to our sport and then you can go back to that other stuff afterwards, okay?"
6. If you run the team, you need to try to keep practices to less than 90 minutes TOPS. After 1 hour, kids' attention starts to wane. So make the bulk of instruction and hard practice take place in the first 45-60 minutes. Then, after that you need to have some kind of fun activity related to the practice you just did. It gives the kids something positive to go home with and helps them look forward to the next game or practice. Give them a reason to want to come back.
7.--Fun is important. But, other factors weigh heavier as years go on and players and their talents develop.
What is the bottom line of all this? A STRONGER BOND WITH YOUR CHILD. The rewards you will reap because you take an active interest in your kid's life will pay dividends almost immediately and will carry on long into your old age. It will make your kids WANT to be around you. They will want to spend time with you and will look forward to trying new things, new activities, and will lead to them being better parents one day also.
Because here is the secret of life, my friends. MAKE A POSTIVE DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE. SHOW YOUR KIDS THAT THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU.
Trust me when I tell you...LEN IS RIGHT. Thus endeth the lesson.
I am
Len Tollerton
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