DOMINATED BY THE SHAW KID

MINIONS:
Okay, none of you ever respond to my poll questions. What kind of minions are YOU??!! You disappoint your master during the holiday season. I'm starting to get a complex. But I bet after what I'm about to tell you, I'll hear from people in freakin' Helsinki, Finland. (That's where the fans of the Assassins from Shadowland reside. The Assassins are my beloved Fantasy Football team. Our home stadium, the Pit of Despair, is in Helsinki. Makes the visiting team tired.....jet lag, ya know.)

Anyway......here we go. I bowl every 2 or 3 months. I can usually shoot anywhere from 160-230, depending on if I suck that day or not. I roll a decent ball, but have a problem with being consistent. Kind of like my golf game, though I'm better at bowling. I'm sure my father-in-law's friends in Florida will attest to that. So today I bowled in the Coach-N-Kids tournament at Sunset Lanes in Colonie. Since I don't have a sanctioned average, I had to bowl to a 200 average. I knew I wasn't likely to bowl a 600 triple, but I figured I could handle 550-580.

Our team consisted of Jackson's friend C.J. (100 avg.), Jackson (127 avg.), and Jack's team Captain, Nick Shaw (137 avg.). Okay, so I'm just bowling because they need an adult, but I'm really looking forward to it. I want to bowl really well to continue my son's hero-worship of me (tongue-in-cheek, for those who don't know me). I'm generally good at making spares. Not today, folks. No excuses, either. I just didn't have it today. Games of 155, 178 (striking out in the 10th frame), and 150 (let me just puke all over my shoes, thank-you). A 483 triple, and about 100 pins less than I had hoped for.

The Shaw kid? First, let me tell you all that his 137 average is not as accurate as you may believe. I've seen this kid throw games in the 180's, 190's and 200's. I've seen him string 5 or 6 strikes at times, then come back and throw a gutter ball. He has some talent, and I think some day he'll be on his school team, and will probably easily average in the 200's. So, this kid rolls a 133, 183, and 176, for a 492 triple. Absolutely kicks this old guy's butt, stringing strikes, making spares, just DOMINATING the master blogger. In truth, I was VERY happy for him. I really enjoy watching Jackson and Nick bowl every Saturday morning. They're both great kids with great senses of humor. They're both knuckleheads, but they're alot of fun to hang around with (when they're not being little wise-asses). I hope when they grow to be adults, that we can all hang out together playing sports, music, or just having a cocktail or two. That probably won't be until they're in their 30's, cause 20 year old guys don't usually want to hang with guys in their 50's or 60's. Luckilly, Nick's mom (the lovely Wiccan mentioned in a past post) and C.J.'s mom didn't bust my balls too bad. I was hoping to make a better showing so my teammates had a chance to grab a trophy, but not this time. Hopefully I'll be asked to participate again, cause I had alot of fun with these guys.

Since I know I have a limited audience, I will make this open wager to MY minions. I'll bowl anyone out there for the princely sum of $5/game. I'm that sure of my awesome talents. Even Chuck the E. o D. I might even be willing to go $10/game. Of course, after watching my display today, I wouldn't be surprised to see Nick's mom take me up on that wager. I think she used to bowl on the Ladies Pro Tour. I'm confident, though, cause I think I can throw her off her game by stealing her Mint Mojito gum. Ha-Hah!!! I got a plan, baby!!

You know how I know this will work? Because LEN IS RIGHT. You know it. I know it, and Jackson knows it. Stick that in your snot-locker folks.

Bring the abuse, people. I can take it. More from the home front later this week. Cheers.
I am,
Len Tollerton