My friends:
Today, a pet peeve of mine.
Have you ever been in a diner or restaurant and the waitress calls you hon? You know..."Here you go, hon." Or, "What can I get for you, hon?" The first couple of times you hear it, you're like, "She just called me hon. Is she flirting with me? Can I get a free dessert out of this?" After a while, or after a couple of visits to eateries where the waitress calls you "hon" you realizie it's just something people say instead of sir or madam. When it happens in a restaurant, I don't even give it a second thought. I figure the person is just trying to esablish a familiarity or show friendliness.
HOWEVER......
Recently, I've had dealings with an Insurance Agent who is young and, apparently, just starting out in the business. He often finishes his sentences with, "Okay Buddy?"
Buddy? What the freak is that? Are we friends? No. Do we hang out or something? No. So what makes you think it's okay to call me Buddy? It irks the shit out of me when people act in an unprofessional manner when trying to sell me something or do some kind of business with me. Buddy? Hey, Buddy THIS mofo. Okay? Do I call you dude? When you're trying to do business with me you may call me Sir, Mr. Tollerton, or Len. Buddy? I think NOT!
Which brings me to Pal. Several years ago, I did banking at Trustco Bank on Wolf Rd. in Colonie. There was a teller there by the name of James Vedder, who, while training, and then when he was working on his own, had the annoying habit of calling men Pal. Why are you calling me pal? Are you hoping we're going to establish a friendship and go get a couple of beers together? Are you looking for me to join your hoop team? (Unlikely)
Look, you are in a business where you are in front of the public representing a (supposedly) respectable comapny. How about trying to act in a professional manner and not call the nice customers Buddy, Pal, or Dude. You make yourself look like a dope or a dope smoker. Generally there's nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, I'm NOT yourBuddy, I'm NOT your Pal, and if we're doing business, I'm definitely NOT Dude. Most of the time I AM Dude. Just not when we're doing business. Got it? Jesus Freakin' Christ, I'm going to smack the next assbag who calls me one of these "endearing" names when they're trying to sell me something or I'm attempting to do some banking.
On second thought, I think I'll just ask them to leave my house, or I'll turn around and leave their establishment so I don't have to put up with that. We ain't friends, we're not familiar, STOP doing it. You know that LEN IS RIGHT, don't you?
BEST OF LUCK AND A SPEEDY RETURN
Mike Wesoloski is a guy I was friends with when I was a teenager. Our sons are on the same bowling team. Mike is in the National Guard and his unit just found out a couple of weeks ago that they'll be shipping off to War in April. He will probably not return till February. His story is no different from the thousands of American soldiers who have been sent over to the Middle East to fight Mr. Bush's WAR of EGO.
Mike, keep your head low, stay safe and return home to you wife and son and daughter as quickly as possible. Until then, you will be in our thoughts and prayers. May good luck be on your side, and may the Congress bring you home safely, before your term is up. Be well.
Peace to you all.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
A BIRTHDAY NOTE, NCAA HOOP, AND WEEDS
People O'Mine:
Hey now! Len Is Right back here again to mention a couple of things that I let go and wanted to talk about.
First, a birthday. Last Friday night I was up to good friend Chuck's house to celebrate his 49th birthday. Chuck is the Edge of Darkness. Also attending was Roy the G. B. King and Chris the Dot Com Destroyer. Just a little poker and a party celebration on a TERRIBLE night weather-wise. Blinding snow storm in the Capital Region dumped about 16 inches on us and forced me and Roy to sleep at Chuck's. It was fun, though, and we played cards until around 3:00 a.m. This is strange for us, as I usually leave around 12:30 cause it's a 35-minute ride home. So anyway, Happy Birthday Chuck, and many happy returns. Next year we will be holding the Chuck Luce turns 50 poker tourney. Stay tuned.
THE NCAA HOOP TOURNEY AND BRACKET SHEETS
Folks, I gotta tell ya, I hate basketball. I used to be a big fan, but it's turned into a game for Me-First thugs and no more resembles the game I remember than does a tuna sandwich. So, it was with a completely apathetic, non-caring attitude that I greeted the NCAA tournament and the inevitable bracket sheet contests that many people play every year.
This was supposed to have been my second year in a row that I decided NOT to turn in a sheet for the contest. My reasons for not playing are as follows: I've never been close to cashing in 10 years of trying. I fucking DETEST hoop. I especially dislike the NBA (though I try to follow the progress of my cousin, Matt Carroll, who plays for the Charlotte Bobcats---and is having a very good year). I don't care who wins, who plays, who the stars are, which conference does best, and I don't bet the games.....again because I couldn't care less. I would sooner go off of a ski jump in Lake Placid and risk life and limb flying through the air, than watch a single hoop game or bet on which team happens to cover the spread.
MANHOOD INSULTED...
However, one of my closest friends decided that I was un-American and that I was, and I quote, "half a queer" for not getting into the contest. He doesn't understand how a guy doesn't want to follow college hoop and bet the games and get into the contest. And again, I had to hear about this 2nd hand. I love being called a queer behind my back. (No offense to any gay folks out there in the audience, who may be reading this, but it's like calling a white guy a nigger instead of a cracker) So, not liking my manhood questioned and playing into his BULLSHIT, I got into a contest, albeit run by someone else, that I could easily follow online.
The result so far? There were 208 entries into this particular contest and after Round 1 I was in 154th place. After Round 2, I was in a little better shape at 108th place, but definitely already out of any chance of getting in the money. I may have had a little more fun actually setting a $10 bill on fire and watching it burn, or making it into a paper airplane and seeing if I could fly it into my toilet.
My thanks to Joe Gunther for thinking of me and letting me into his contest at the last minute. To my other friends, I'd like to make something perfectly clear, so there is no mistake next year or anytime after that. I HATE BASKETBALL!!! Is that easily understood? Do you finally get the fact that I don't care who wins, who loses, or if every team has to forfeit because of rampant diarhhea. I don't wish to bet games, don't care who's playing and except for my cousins Matt and Pat Carroll, couldn't care less if the game was eliminated off the face of the earth, except that many inner city kids would have no sport to play.
Hey look, hoop is great exercise and a great sport to PLAY. I guess when I say that I hate hoop, I mean I will not follow it. When Julius Erving retired I lost all interest. And I can't conciously follow a sport where many of the elite collegians will one day become the Ron Artests and Allen Iversons of the NBA.
So, please don't bother me with basketball shit anymore. I am not interested. I will gamble on many things. But I've stopped sports betting because I really have no control over it, I SUCK at it, and truthfully, I would rather risk my money on things I DO have control over, like a hand of poker.
WEEDS
There is a show on Showtime that has been on for a couple of years called Weeds. It's about a woman, recently widowed, who has to become a pot dealer in her neighborhood to make ends meet and keep her house. I had to rent the DVD's of it because I don't have Showtime. Let me tell you folks, I think it's freakin' hilarious. I'm looking forward to renting the 2nd season, and I HIGHLY (no pun intended) recommend you check it out if you haven't seen it already. It stars the beautiful and sexy Mary Louise Parker along with the beautiful and sexy Elizabeth Perkins. Take my advice and watch it. I think you'll agree.
Until next time, my friends, please remember that LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Hey now! Len Is Right back here again to mention a couple of things that I let go and wanted to talk about.
First, a birthday. Last Friday night I was up to good friend Chuck's house to celebrate his 49th birthday. Chuck is the Edge of Darkness. Also attending was Roy the G. B. King and Chris the Dot Com Destroyer. Just a little poker and a party celebration on a TERRIBLE night weather-wise. Blinding snow storm in the Capital Region dumped about 16 inches on us and forced me and Roy to sleep at Chuck's. It was fun, though, and we played cards until around 3:00 a.m. This is strange for us, as I usually leave around 12:30 cause it's a 35-minute ride home. So anyway, Happy Birthday Chuck, and many happy returns. Next year we will be holding the Chuck Luce turns 50 poker tourney. Stay tuned.
THE NCAA HOOP TOURNEY AND BRACKET SHEETS
Folks, I gotta tell ya, I hate basketball. I used to be a big fan, but it's turned into a game for Me-First thugs and no more resembles the game I remember than does a tuna sandwich. So, it was with a completely apathetic, non-caring attitude that I greeted the NCAA tournament and the inevitable bracket sheet contests that many people play every year.
This was supposed to have been my second year in a row that I decided NOT to turn in a sheet for the contest. My reasons for not playing are as follows: I've never been close to cashing in 10 years of trying. I fucking DETEST hoop. I especially dislike the NBA (though I try to follow the progress of my cousin, Matt Carroll, who plays for the Charlotte Bobcats---and is having a very good year). I don't care who wins, who plays, who the stars are, which conference does best, and I don't bet the games.....again because I couldn't care less. I would sooner go off of a ski jump in Lake Placid and risk life and limb flying through the air, than watch a single hoop game or bet on which team happens to cover the spread.
MANHOOD INSULTED...
However, one of my closest friends decided that I was un-American and that I was, and I quote, "half a queer" for not getting into the contest. He doesn't understand how a guy doesn't want to follow college hoop and bet the games and get into the contest. And again, I had to hear about this 2nd hand. I love being called a queer behind my back. (No offense to any gay folks out there in the audience, who may be reading this, but it's like calling a white guy a nigger instead of a cracker) So, not liking my manhood questioned and playing into his BULLSHIT, I got into a contest, albeit run by someone else, that I could easily follow online.
The result so far? There were 208 entries into this particular contest and after Round 1 I was in 154th place. After Round 2, I was in a little better shape at 108th place, but definitely already out of any chance of getting in the money. I may have had a little more fun actually setting a $10 bill on fire and watching it burn, or making it into a paper airplane and seeing if I could fly it into my toilet.
My thanks to Joe Gunther for thinking of me and letting me into his contest at the last minute. To my other friends, I'd like to make something perfectly clear, so there is no mistake next year or anytime after that. I HATE BASKETBALL!!! Is that easily understood? Do you finally get the fact that I don't care who wins, who loses, or if every team has to forfeit because of rampant diarhhea. I don't wish to bet games, don't care who's playing and except for my cousins Matt and Pat Carroll, couldn't care less if the game was eliminated off the face of the earth, except that many inner city kids would have no sport to play.
Hey look, hoop is great exercise and a great sport to PLAY. I guess when I say that I hate hoop, I mean I will not follow it. When Julius Erving retired I lost all interest. And I can't conciously follow a sport where many of the elite collegians will one day become the Ron Artests and Allen Iversons of the NBA.
So, please don't bother me with basketball shit anymore. I am not interested. I will gamble on many things. But I've stopped sports betting because I really have no control over it, I SUCK at it, and truthfully, I would rather risk my money on things I DO have control over, like a hand of poker.
WEEDS
There is a show on Showtime that has been on for a couple of years called Weeds. It's about a woman, recently widowed, who has to become a pot dealer in her neighborhood to make ends meet and keep her house. I had to rent the DVD's of it because I don't have Showtime. Let me tell you folks, I think it's freakin' hilarious. I'm looking forward to renting the 2nd season, and I HIGHLY (no pun intended) recommend you check it out if you haven't seen it already. It stars the beautiful and sexy Mary Louise Parker along with the beautiful and sexy Elizabeth Perkins. Take my advice and watch it. I think you'll agree.
Until next time, my friends, please remember that LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
GET THE MASSAGE...LEN IS RIGHT
Hello my friends:
Today's post deals with an experience I enjoyed today. Back in October, my mother gave me a gift certificate for a local day spa because I was interested in getting a massage. I've never had a Swedish massage and have always been interested, having heard nothing but good things.
I went to Kimberly's in Latham. They are generally booked up and you have to make an appointment around 2-3 weeks in advance. So I did. Now first off, I've got to say that I don't know if I would have spent money on myself for this, at least, not before experiencing it. A 1-hour Swedish massage goes for $70. So, with some skepticism, because of the disparity in the cost of the massage, compared to what I make per hour, I made my way to Latham.
After filling out a questionnaire, I was led upstairs to the room I was going to use. The masseuse, Sierra, had me disrobe to my level of comfort(down to my underwear), and lay under the sheet and blanket. I put my face into the support ring, laying on my stomach. There was soothing New-Agey type of music playing to help with relaxation. The massage table had a heating pad and was nice and warm when I laid down. Sierra started with compressions, which is pushing down on the parts of your body she was going to be working on first, to prepare your skin tissue for the massage.
I'm not going to bore you with all of the details. She started with my back and neck, using a grape seed massage oil and then did the backs of my legs. I then turned over and she did my feet, leg fronts and arms and hands. The hour seemed to fly by and I enjoyed every minute of it. Afterward, the have you drink some water to aid in getting rid of any toxins that may have been released after a deep-tissue massage.
ADVICE FROM LEN IS RIGHT
I will tell you what. This was one of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had that didn't involve sex, food, sports, or poker. I heartilly recommend spoiling yourself or a loved one with a total body massage. And no, guys, there was no "Happy Ending" offered. It was just your basic Swedish massage. But with Mothers Day, Father's Day approaching, and birthdays always on the horizon, I would definitely think about looking into spending the money for a massage.
Now, you can get massages for less money. Local independent massage therapists generally charge around $50-$60/hour. Also, there is the Center For Wellness, on Wolf Rd. in Colonie (right behind Pier 1 Imports), which is the school that many of the local massage therapists attend, where you can get a massage for $40. Realize that you are getting it from a person who is still in training.
I would also recommend that if you are going to have one, and you are a man, that you request a woman massage therapist. You don't want to feel all nervous because another guy is running his hands over your body. The woman I had was friendly, only spoke if I spoke, and very professional. And if you're the kind of guy who wouldn't even consider walking into a day spa because it seems girly or faggy, all I can tell you is that you are missing out. Personally, I don't know how I went without this kind of treatment for the first 43 years of my life. I'll be going back fairly soon, because that was very cool and I really enjoyed my time there. Kimberly's is a tad pretentious and up-scale, and it is a bit costly. But afterward you don't even think about that. You're just thinking about how good your body feels.
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS THE BOTTOM LINE!
Get the massage. Spend some money on yourself. You'll be very glad you did. And besides, you have GOT TO KNOW that........LEN IS RIGHT.
Peace to you all.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Today's post deals with an experience I enjoyed today. Back in October, my mother gave me a gift certificate for a local day spa because I was interested in getting a massage. I've never had a Swedish massage and have always been interested, having heard nothing but good things.
I went to Kimberly's in Latham. They are generally booked up and you have to make an appointment around 2-3 weeks in advance. So I did. Now first off, I've got to say that I don't know if I would have spent money on myself for this, at least, not before experiencing it. A 1-hour Swedish massage goes for $70. So, with some skepticism, because of the disparity in the cost of the massage, compared to what I make per hour, I made my way to Latham.
After filling out a questionnaire, I was led upstairs to the room I was going to use. The masseuse, Sierra, had me disrobe to my level of comfort(down to my underwear), and lay under the sheet and blanket. I put my face into the support ring, laying on my stomach. There was soothing New-Agey type of music playing to help with relaxation. The massage table had a heating pad and was nice and warm when I laid down. Sierra started with compressions, which is pushing down on the parts of your body she was going to be working on first, to prepare your skin tissue for the massage.
I'm not going to bore you with all of the details. She started with my back and neck, using a grape seed massage oil and then did the backs of my legs. I then turned over and she did my feet, leg fronts and arms and hands. The hour seemed to fly by and I enjoyed every minute of it. Afterward, the have you drink some water to aid in getting rid of any toxins that may have been released after a deep-tissue massage.
ADVICE FROM LEN IS RIGHT
I will tell you what. This was one of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had that didn't involve sex, food, sports, or poker. I heartilly recommend spoiling yourself or a loved one with a total body massage. And no, guys, there was no "Happy Ending" offered. It was just your basic Swedish massage. But with Mothers Day, Father's Day approaching, and birthdays always on the horizon, I would definitely think about looking into spending the money for a massage.
Now, you can get massages for less money. Local independent massage therapists generally charge around $50-$60/hour. Also, there is the Center For Wellness, on Wolf Rd. in Colonie (right behind Pier 1 Imports), which is the school that many of the local massage therapists attend, where you can get a massage for $40. Realize that you are getting it from a person who is still in training.
I would also recommend that if you are going to have one, and you are a man, that you request a woman massage therapist. You don't want to feel all nervous because another guy is running his hands over your body. The woman I had was friendly, only spoke if I spoke, and very professional. And if you're the kind of guy who wouldn't even consider walking into a day spa because it seems girly or faggy, all I can tell you is that you are missing out. Personally, I don't know how I went without this kind of treatment for the first 43 years of my life. I'll be going back fairly soon, because that was very cool and I really enjoyed my time there. Kimberly's is a tad pretentious and up-scale, and it is a bit costly. But afterward you don't even think about that. You're just thinking about how good your body feels.
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS THE BOTTOM LINE!
Get the massage. Spend some money on yourself. You'll be very glad you did. And besides, you have GOT TO KNOW that........LEN IS RIGHT.
Peace to you all.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Thursday, March 01, 2007
2 BIRTHDAYS AND AN OBSERVATION
Greetings my friends:
Today is March 1st and I have done the unthinkable by not posting yesterday to wish my wife, the lovely Patty, a very Happy Birthday. I won't mention her age, because she hates her birthday. Patty, being a glass-half-empty type of person, believes she is old and washed up and hasn't accomplished anything in her life. Never mind that she has a Master's Degree, has sustained a marriage for 20 years, has 2 great kids, and nice friends. Anyway...Happy Birthday Hon, I love you very much. Anyone wishing to send the Lovely Patty a birthday greeting, may email her at peatea63@yahoo.com
Today being March 1st, I'd also like to send birthday greetings out to good friend Kevin Koehler, who turns 53 today. Have a great day, Kev. I know you're looking forward to the Vegas trip in a couple of weeks.
A LEN IS RIGHT COMMENT ON RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY
I've recently been doing some reading on Buddhism. For some time now I have been interested in why Buddhists seem to be at peace more than others, why Asian religions seem so mysterious, and why these people seem to live longer. Risking a derisive attitude from those who know me to be a Pagan Non-believer, I bought the book Buddhism For Dummies. While I did not get all my questions answered, I believe I have hit upon some truths and some insight into what it is with man and his spiritual beliefs.
First off, I just want to explain what I'm getting as the central point of Buddhism. It is a philosophy of kindness and compassion. And I believe that the main way to Enlightenment is through Meditation. This means Introspection and trying to figure out the truths of your own soul by looking inside yourself and trying to identify flaws and make changes. That's not really a full explanation, but it will serve as one for now.
While reading this book and learning what the whole thing is about, I realized a couple of things. First off, it seems to me that in questions of man and Religion or Spirituality, that the majority of people NEED, for some reason, a focal point for their beliefs. They need to believe that they can sit near Jesus in Heaven. They need to believe that God actually spoke to Moses, and that the Torah is THE Bible. They need to believe that Allah is to be praised. They need a teacher, a guru, a priest or rabbi to guide them through their lives and give them something to focus on to make it through their day.
It seems to me that another word for Focal Point would be CRUTCH. We all seem to need guidance from others. We seem to need something tangible to see or touch, or to grab on to so we have someone or something to blame if we fail or stumble along the path.
WHAT'S THE MESSAGE?
The message is....and I'm taking this from the idea of Buddhist meditation practices, that to find your answers, to find clarity, a person needs to spend some time looking inside themselves. Introspection and complete honesty with yourself is how you will find these answers. You don't NEED a bible or a god. You, my friends, HAVE IT ALL right inside of yourselves. The Power, or the God, or the Spirit is inside of you and it doesn't need the help of some Born-Again evangelist or a guru, priest or shamen to come out.
If you need an answer, do not look for it from others. Others have their own agendas, their own problems. By being brutally honest with ourselves and seeking the answer from inside ourselves, we eliminate the need for a Crutch. We are all very strong, though we may not know it. It's not about the money, our status-symbol jobs, our social stratus, etc..., it's about peace and happiness within our own selves. WE are the power. We just need to learn how to harvest that power and put that personal power to use in the best way.
GO...SEEK...FIND. BUT DON'T LOOK TOO FAR, BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT INSIDE OF YOU.
That's all for now. Trust me, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Today is March 1st and I have done the unthinkable by not posting yesterday to wish my wife, the lovely Patty, a very Happy Birthday. I won't mention her age, because she hates her birthday. Patty, being a glass-half-empty type of person, believes she is old and washed up and hasn't accomplished anything in her life. Never mind that she has a Master's Degree, has sustained a marriage for 20 years, has 2 great kids, and nice friends. Anyway...Happy Birthday Hon, I love you very much. Anyone wishing to send the Lovely Patty a birthday greeting, may email her at peatea63@yahoo.com
Today being March 1st, I'd also like to send birthday greetings out to good friend Kevin Koehler, who turns 53 today. Have a great day, Kev. I know you're looking forward to the Vegas trip in a couple of weeks.
A LEN IS RIGHT COMMENT ON RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY
I've recently been doing some reading on Buddhism. For some time now I have been interested in why Buddhists seem to be at peace more than others, why Asian religions seem so mysterious, and why these people seem to live longer. Risking a derisive attitude from those who know me to be a Pagan Non-believer, I bought the book Buddhism For Dummies. While I did not get all my questions answered, I believe I have hit upon some truths and some insight into what it is with man and his spiritual beliefs.
First off, I just want to explain what I'm getting as the central point of Buddhism. It is a philosophy of kindness and compassion. And I believe that the main way to Enlightenment is through Meditation. This means Introspection and trying to figure out the truths of your own soul by looking inside yourself and trying to identify flaws and make changes. That's not really a full explanation, but it will serve as one for now.
While reading this book and learning what the whole thing is about, I realized a couple of things. First off, it seems to me that in questions of man and Religion or Spirituality, that the majority of people NEED, for some reason, a focal point for their beliefs. They need to believe that they can sit near Jesus in Heaven. They need to believe that God actually spoke to Moses, and that the Torah is THE Bible. They need to believe that Allah is to be praised. They need a teacher, a guru, a priest or rabbi to guide them through their lives and give them something to focus on to make it through their day.
It seems to me that another word for Focal Point would be CRUTCH. We all seem to need guidance from others. We seem to need something tangible to see or touch, or to grab on to so we have someone or something to blame if we fail or stumble along the path.
WHAT'S THE MESSAGE?
The message is....and I'm taking this from the idea of Buddhist meditation practices, that to find your answers, to find clarity, a person needs to spend some time looking inside themselves. Introspection and complete honesty with yourself is how you will find these answers. You don't NEED a bible or a god. You, my friends, HAVE IT ALL right inside of yourselves. The Power, or the God, or the Spirit is inside of you and it doesn't need the help of some Born-Again evangelist or a guru, priest or shamen to come out.
If you need an answer, do not look for it from others. Others have their own agendas, their own problems. By being brutally honest with ourselves and seeking the answer from inside ourselves, we eliminate the need for a Crutch. We are all very strong, though we may not know it. It's not about the money, our status-symbol jobs, our social stratus, etc..., it's about peace and happiness within our own selves. WE are the power. We just need to learn how to harvest that power and put that personal power to use in the best way.
GO...SEEK...FIND. BUT DON'T LOOK TOO FAR, BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT INSIDE OF YOU.
That's all for now. Trust me, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
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