Sunday, September 13, 2009

TODAY'S WHY?

Hello Minions:
I trust you all are well. Today is the Opening Sunday of the 2009 NFL season. It's going to be another losing season for my Chiefs, but I remain optimistic. Anyhoooo...............

Today, I went into this new Asian Supermarket (strangely enough, it's called Asian Supermarket). If you ever lived in Albany/Colonie, NY, then You'll know where it's located if i say it's where Rosano's Hardware used to be on Central Ave. I went in to buy some noodle soups. It's the second time I've been in the store, and the 10th or 20th time that I've been in an Asian market. I gotta tell ya, I don't think they want my money, and I don't think they want me in their store. I always try to smile and say hello, but it's like I'm unclean and that it's beneath them to deal with me. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a reason for this? I'm always polite and friendly. Is it prejudice? Is it because I'm tall, dark, and hairy? Is it mistrust? (Do I look like a thug?) I'd appreciate some feedback. Why spend my hard-earned money in a place where I'm not wanted? Asians are nice to me when I go to their restaurants. WTF happens at the market?

Now, another "WHY?" I'm struggling with is this...Why is it when you take a shower at home, or go to someone's house to swim, and you come home and hang your towels and bathing suits up to dry, and they're dry in the morning. But you go away to the ocean, and come back to the motel room and hang up your towels and suits, and they're still extremely wet in the morning? Why the hell is that? Is the air different by the sea, like Barometric pressure or something? Then you gotta hope the place has a dryer. What gives?

What does it say about us as a nation, when we're going to give The "OctoMom" a reality TV show? Do we actually need to watch train-wrecks to affirm our lives aren't so bad? I mean, I am repulsed by the very idea that this baby-machine cow is given anything more than her public assistance. I hope it's going to be fast and not very painful, but I'm not in fear of December 2012. You know, when the Mayan calendar ends and the world is supposed to come to an end, blah, blah, blah....I almost hope it happens, so as to make the other intelligent life in the universe stop laughing at us. I really believe we're the laughing-stock of the Universe. "Look at those stupid humans on Earth! They just don't know when to stop being dolts." "I agree Grubnak, they're a bunch of dipshit dildoes. They just gave credence to the manatee with 14 offspring. Here, we'd send her to the planet Fleep-Fleep for sterilization and mind erasure." C'mon, folks. Is this where we've come in our evolution? Is this all we can put forth? Greed and hype exploiting the stupid for their money and attention. SHAME HUMANS.

I am REALLY right with that.
See ya.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Sunday, August 02, 2009

AC/DC, MY FRIENDS

WE WENT. WE WORSHIPED. WE WERE BLOWN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd stood for the entire show. I have irreversible hearing damage. I whiplashed myself after 4 songs and went hoarse after 5. These 50-60 year-old men rocked the house so hard that the arena's foundation cracked. Everyone sang all of the songs.

If you missed it, YOU ARE BUMMING, BABY!!
If you still get the chance, go see this band in your city.
For Those About To Rock............FIRE!!!!!!!
BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!!

AC/DC, my friends.
LEN IS RIGHT bids you a fond "Good Evening"

I am,
Len Tollerton

Saturday, August 01, 2009

CONCERT WEEK AND THE BIG POKER TOURNEY

Hey Minions:
This is the back end of concert week for us here at the Tollerton compound. Last week (July 25), I began my week of vacation by taking the boys and one of their cousins to see Green Day at the Times Union Center in Albany.

We weren't interested in the warm-up act, The Bravery, an emo-punk act out of NY City. We were right. They sucked, in our collective opinion. But we weren't there for them. At 8:35, Green Day hit the stage with the title cut off their new album, 21st Century Breakdown, and then went right into their big hit off of that CD, Know Your Enemy. Let me tell ya, folks, the house was rockin', big time. Green Day played most of their big hits (thankfully omitting the dirge-like When Spetember Ends) over 2 1/2 hours. that's right, 2 1/2 hours of power-punk-pop, that had the whole place singing, shouting and doing the ol' "call and return" thing. I don't think anyone walked away disappointed. Apparently I'm getting older, as I needed to use ear plugs for a portion of the show (the songs I wasn't familiar with). At around $60/ticket, this was well worth the money. The entire band was very energetic, funny, and fun, with leader Billie Joe Armstrong giving it his all. If you like this band's music and have a chance to see them, you should make it a point to do so. I give this show a 9.5

GUNTHER/MILES POKER TOURNEY
Tonight (Sat. 8/2) is the big annual Gunther/Miles poker tourney out in Guilderland. I've written about this event before. Joe Gunther, Niko Miles and Sue Gunther have been running this top-notch event for a few years now and I've been lucky enough to attend the last three. Last year, I finished 2nd, losing to a guy named Brian Kelly, who I nicknamed "The Mountain" because of the huge mountian of chips he had piled when we started the Final Table action. It was my 2nd Final table in 3 years at this tourney. I will be playing alongside, Roy The G.B. King, Chuck the E.o.D., and Extreme Justin. Chris the DotCom Destroyer and DVK from across the street can't make it this year. But I think we'll still have fun. It would be extremely cool if we all could make the Final. 64 tough players in this one.

AC/DC ON SUNDAY
Friends, this is the Big One. Sunday night AC/DC rolls into Albany with their Black Ice tour. Me and the boys, friend Sansone and daughter, and Rugged Russom (owner of Bret and Doc the horses and Mitzi the German shepherd) will be attending this rock fest. If you've never seen them, trust me when I say, go see them NOW!!!!! They won't be doing too many more tours, if any. This band has been great each of the 5 times I've seen them.

What makes this show even better, for me, is that The Answer, the band I've been touting for the last year is the warm-up act. They are going to rip it up. I may have trouble making it to work the next day. I will NOT be wearing hearing protection for this one. Full frontal assault, my friends. Let it wash over you or leave like a beaten dog.

My review and the report of the Gunther/Miles tourney will follow this week. Hopefully, I'll be around for the end of that one. Please, folks, if you haven't bought tickets for the Albany AC/DC show, or if they're coming to a town close to you, PLEASE spend the money and go to the show. Worship, my friends, at the True Altar of Rock. Angus and the boys may be in their 50's (and 60's), but you will thank me later after your soul has been saved by music. You know the songs, you need the rock......Go and be saved.

LEN IS MOST CERTAINLY RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
Rock on, minions,
I am,
Len Tollerton

p.s. read on further for the report of the Jersy shore vacation

BACK FROM THE SHORE

Hey Minions:
Greetings, folks. Hope your summer is being enjoyed. I'm sure it is, especially if you're a duck. Much too much rain this year. Many of my neighbors have eschewed taking their pool covers off, feeling the rain has lost them the summer, so why bother? It IS some work owning and maintaining a pool. But on a day like today (sunny w/projected high of 86), you're happy you have one.

Just got back from the Jersy shore (Cape May). It was our first trip there. Here are my ratings:

Motel--I give it a 6. The Blue Fish Inn, a small (12 Units) motel about 6 blocks from the beach. Older, but updated, with a small swimming pool. It was okay. The staff was very friendly and helpful. Rooms were layed out strangely and a bit overpriced, but it's the season. Wouldn't go back. Chose this place because we reserved late and most other places were too high ($$$) or unavailable.

Beach---I give it a 7. GREAT, and I mean great waves (maybe because of the windy weather and storms). The boys and I got beat up pretty good, but had fun. Unfortunately, because of the choppiness, the beach near the water was mostly stones, shells and pebbles. Very hard on the feet. 10-20 feet into the surf the bottom was all gravel and also hard on the feet. Undertow was the strongest I've ever experienced. The town charges $5/day to get onto the beach...I assume to keep out the riff-raff (whatever that is....I guess "huniacs" from the City). We all got sunburned despite our applications of Sun-Block. PT did not enjoy it at all. Beach was very clean and manicured every morning.

Town---Can't give an accurate rating. Houses, Inns andthe like were all beautiful. Lrge Victorian structures, beautifully decorated/painted. Nice town to walk around in. I took a 3-4 mile walk every morning, so I got to see alot of it. Many shops, restaurants, small boardwalk, you know, the typical seaside resort community. Wish we had more time to explore things and avail ourselves of the surroundings (kayak tours, whale watching, driving to Wildwood for the boardwalk). Went to a tavern the first night and spent $100 on sandwiches and drinks. Plus, our table kept getting dripped on by and overhead air duct that had condensation build-up from the humidity. the waitress basically said, "Sorry, can't help you." No comps for inconvenience or anything. would have bought a shirt from the place, but we were turned off by the whole experience. Later meals were better and cheaper.

Overall---I guess a 7, at best. This may be due to first day sunburns and the unhappiness with the motel. Perhaps a different motel, closer to the beach, less sunburns, less shell/stone on the beach (it's NOT that way in Gloucester, the water's just colder), MUCH TOO MANY Phillies fans walking around. Will we go back? Probably not, but I don't rule it out.

Over this next year, we'll be making a family plan for next year, as to what we want out of our vacation time and money. Florida is always an option because PT's dad lives there and we know alot of people there, and we know what there is to do (amusement parks, golf, good beaches, etc...)Downside of Florida is that in the summer it's really hot and humid and it's also hurricane season. Plus, the ocean water is generally too warm to be refreshing. But it's gotten familiar. We all have different agendas for vacation. Some people just want a quiet beach to hang out on for the week (PT and me), some want stuff to do (me and the boys), some are on a budget (us, usually), some want familiarity. We'll be studying our options over the coming year.

Please don't judge the Cape May, NJ area by my report. Go and try it for yourself. We just didn't think we got enough bang for the buck. This was 50% the area/motel/beach condition and 50% us looking at the glass half-empty. We'll prob try Virginia Beach or the Outer Banks, or Cape Cod next year.

Peace Minions.
I am,
Len Tollerton