Friends, Americans, countrymen:
It is I, your good friend in upstate NY sending along my Best Wishes for a very safe and Happy New Year.
I hope you will all exercise moderation tonight, if going out on the town. You know that law enforcement will be busy and in a rigid attitude looking for folks who want to push the limit. Be smart and be safe. It ends up costing ALOT less for a cab than it does paying a fine and increased insurance rates for a DWI (DUI).
LEN IS RIGHT will not abandon you in the New Year. That is a promise from me to you. I'm sure I'll have alot to say in 2008. We have around 375 days (give or take a day) till the ass-bag that is our President will be ushered out. Hopefully they'll just grab him by the collar and kick him to the curb. But I digress.
Congrats to the New England Patriots for finishing the Regular season undefeated. Very impressive. But, really, if they don't win the Super Bowl, the season ends up being a Colossal disappointment, doesn't it? In REALITY, I don't see anyone staying with them, so it SHOULD be a foregone conclusion. Since the Chiefs are not in the playoffs, I can say that I would like to see the Pats do it. And I have no problem with the city of Boston holding championships in the 3 major sports all at once. After the 86 year gap for the Red Sox, I think it's time those fans in the Boston area get a few years of prosperity, before the other shoe eventually drops and they're back to being also-rans.
Okay, that's it for now. Enjoy your New Year's Eve, smartly, okay?
Tkae Care.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Monday, December 31, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
MERRY CHRISTMAS MINIONS
Hello my friends:
Just a quick note to tell you Merry Christmas. I hope everyone enjoys their day with their families, friends, etc...
I will be thinking of each of you at some time today and hoping you get the most out of your quality time.
Peace and happiness to you all from us here at LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Just a quick note to tell you Merry Christmas. I hope everyone enjoys their day with their families, friends, etc...
I will be thinking of each of you at some time today and hoping you get the most out of your quality time.
Peace and happiness to you all from us here at LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Thursday, December 20, 2007
ENCOUNTERED REALISTIC IRONIES
Hey People, what's up?
Today's topic is the concept of IRONY. By definition, IRONY is the disharmony between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result.
How many of us realize that irony goes on in our lives all the time? We don't always catch it, as we are often entrenched in our routines. But sometimes realization hits. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean.
THE CRUEL IRONY OF PARENTHOOD
A personal example of irony in a cruel vein would be this: My father was a guy who was NOT into sports. He was more into the Fine Arts. Literary(read a ton), Artsy(theater, music, art), Culinary (mixed a GREAT cocktail, could cook anything), he was a guy you could hang out with and have a first-class time, because you'd be exposed to good food and drink, music, and conversation and perhaps a really good play. You weren't drinking Fleischman's liquor, it was always top-shelf.
So, what does this guy get for his ONLY child? He gets a TOTAL Jock-Rocker. Lived and Breathed all sports. Could tell you stats till the cows came home. All-Star in baseball. Found the sound of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal and thought he would never feel anything better than the sound of a Power chord struck on a Gibson Les Paul, played through a Marshall stack, on 11. It was like plugging into the wall socket and Riding the Lightning. (right now, my friend BVA is simultaneously laughing his ass off and retching up whatever flavor microwave burrito he's eating) Don't get me wrong, I can wine, dine, and Fine Art it with anyone. But you see my meaning. That would be IRONY.
Cruel Irony comes now that I have kids. My 2 boys walk around my house with Dad having Mets games on the TV, Chiefs clothing and Fantasy Football going on all fall, Metal coming from the computer speakers whlie Dad is screaming along with Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden, and what do I get? 2 boys who aren't really into sports or the metal, although they're both coming around to my musical tastes (screw you Brian) because of Guitar Hero and the iPod. I constantly push sports for reasons of health, fun, and teamwork or competition dynamics. I've been a coach, manager, and spectator (the toughest of the 3). They've not, to this point, embraced anything major, sports-wise. But that's them. They are parts of MORE than just ME. And as they grow and develop their own selves, I realize that maybe my influence hasn't been lost on them. That realization also qualifies, to me, as being fairly ironic. Oh, BTW, if I had access to the kind of video games they have, when I was a kid, I'd be playing them all the time, too. Oh, Irony, breathe your cruel wind over my soul.
MORE IRONY IN LEN-LAND
Now THIS irony is especially cruel to me. It's well-documented in the lives of ALOT of men that shit starts happening to your body after the age of 30 that you say, "Aww, that's not right." My personal example is about hair. Being a Metal head in the 80's meant a certain look. Some guys just grew their hair long and let it go. Some, got all permed and dressed up, like they were in the band Poison or Brittny Foxxx. Posers. Then there were the guys, like me, in the middle-kind of, where you grew your hair long, but got the perm cause your hair looked shitty straight. Anyway, you look like a rocker.
Then a few years pass and the bald-spot starts and styles in the world change. And you realize that you look ridiculous with long hair. Then you find out how easy it is to care for no hair. But you see your friends, or older people with full heads of hair and you start to become jealous. So you wish you had hair again. (side note: NEVER did I EVER consider hair-replacement at any time. You can ALWAYS tell it's fake, and the drugs are hit-and-miss at best) One day you find that your wish has been answered, but with a whole heaping dose of IRONY.
Why? Because the hair is growing on your BODY. Great for warmth in the winter. Sucks for the beach in summer. There is absolutely no reason for me to have grown the hair on my body and lost it on my head, where I want it. Does this end up being bad karma reprisal from an earlier existence? I don't know, but there's got to be someone somewhere saying,"Heh-heh. That was a good one." "What?" "Tollerton wished for hair. I grew a bear's worth for him...on his body. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yeah, yuk it up you ironically cruel bastard. I hope you get a nut wart. Jeez, I probably ought to stop making wishes. "Be careful what you wish for, My Dear, or you shall surely get it."
AND ONE MORE
I have a family friend who is a pretty tough guy. One night, back in the early 60's he was driving along a city street when he saw a man slapping the shit out of a woman, outside of a bar. So, not liking this, he stops and goes over to the guy and puches him out. He thinks he's done a decent thing, when the woman who was getting the crap kicked out of her attacks him and tells him to mind his own business. Stunned, he walked back to his car shaking his head, wondering, WTF!! The irony here is that you think you have a person's best interests at hand and you say something or make an action that you think is helpful, only to realize that asking first would have been a better choice. Or maybe to realize that you don't know what that person's life is, really. You can't walk in another's shoes or see through their eyes, or think what they think or feel. The knee-jerk reaction is, generally, never good. It can end up alienating others, especially those close to you. Don't make this mistake. We can't all save the world and the ironic thing is that parts of the world don't WANT to be saved. There's a message for someone there, I think. Maybe it's me.
I invite you to read a CLASSIC story of irony that goes hand-in-hand with the Holidays. The story is by Ohenry, and is entitled The Gift of the Magi. Many of you are probably very familiar with this timeless tale of love and irony. Click on the link below. Please take the time to check it out, it's only 2 pages long. www.online-literature.com/O_henry/1014/
Enjoy and thanks for stopping by LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Today's topic is the concept of IRONY. By definition, IRONY is the disharmony between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result.
How many of us realize that irony goes on in our lives all the time? We don't always catch it, as we are often entrenched in our routines. But sometimes realization hits. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean.
THE CRUEL IRONY OF PARENTHOOD
A personal example of irony in a cruel vein would be this: My father was a guy who was NOT into sports. He was more into the Fine Arts. Literary(read a ton), Artsy(theater, music, art), Culinary (mixed a GREAT cocktail, could cook anything), he was a guy you could hang out with and have a first-class time, because you'd be exposed to good food and drink, music, and conversation and perhaps a really good play. You weren't drinking Fleischman's liquor, it was always top-shelf.
So, what does this guy get for his ONLY child? He gets a TOTAL Jock-Rocker. Lived and Breathed all sports. Could tell you stats till the cows came home. All-Star in baseball. Found the sound of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal and thought he would never feel anything better than the sound of a Power chord struck on a Gibson Les Paul, played through a Marshall stack, on 11. It was like plugging into the wall socket and Riding the Lightning. (right now, my friend BVA is simultaneously laughing his ass off and retching up whatever flavor microwave burrito he's eating) Don't get me wrong, I can wine, dine, and Fine Art it with anyone. But you see my meaning. That would be IRONY.
Cruel Irony comes now that I have kids. My 2 boys walk around my house with Dad having Mets games on the TV, Chiefs clothing and Fantasy Football going on all fall, Metal coming from the computer speakers whlie Dad is screaming along with Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden, and what do I get? 2 boys who aren't really into sports or the metal, although they're both coming around to my musical tastes (screw you Brian) because of Guitar Hero and the iPod. I constantly push sports for reasons of health, fun, and teamwork or competition dynamics. I've been a coach, manager, and spectator (the toughest of the 3). They've not, to this point, embraced anything major, sports-wise. But that's them. They are parts of MORE than just ME. And as they grow and develop their own selves, I realize that maybe my influence hasn't been lost on them. That realization also qualifies, to me, as being fairly ironic. Oh, BTW, if I had access to the kind of video games they have, when I was a kid, I'd be playing them all the time, too. Oh, Irony, breathe your cruel wind over my soul.
MORE IRONY IN LEN-LAND
Now THIS irony is especially cruel to me. It's well-documented in the lives of ALOT of men that shit starts happening to your body after the age of 30 that you say, "Aww, that's not right." My personal example is about hair. Being a Metal head in the 80's meant a certain look. Some guys just grew their hair long and let it go. Some, got all permed and dressed up, like they were in the band Poison or Brittny Foxxx. Posers. Then there were the guys, like me, in the middle-kind of, where you grew your hair long, but got the perm cause your hair looked shitty straight. Anyway, you look like a rocker.
Then a few years pass and the bald-spot starts and styles in the world change. And you realize that you look ridiculous with long hair. Then you find out how easy it is to care for no hair. But you see your friends, or older people with full heads of hair and you start to become jealous. So you wish you had hair again. (side note: NEVER did I EVER consider hair-replacement at any time. You can ALWAYS tell it's fake, and the drugs are hit-and-miss at best) One day you find that your wish has been answered, but with a whole heaping dose of IRONY.
Why? Because the hair is growing on your BODY. Great for warmth in the winter. Sucks for the beach in summer. There is absolutely no reason for me to have grown the hair on my body and lost it on my head, where I want it. Does this end up being bad karma reprisal from an earlier existence? I don't know, but there's got to be someone somewhere saying,"Heh-heh. That was a good one." "What?" "Tollerton wished for hair. I grew a bear's worth for him...on his body. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yeah, yuk it up you ironically cruel bastard. I hope you get a nut wart. Jeez, I probably ought to stop making wishes. "Be careful what you wish for, My Dear, or you shall surely get it."
AND ONE MORE
I have a family friend who is a pretty tough guy. One night, back in the early 60's he was driving along a city street when he saw a man slapping the shit out of a woman, outside of a bar. So, not liking this, he stops and goes over to the guy and puches him out. He thinks he's done a decent thing, when the woman who was getting the crap kicked out of her attacks him and tells him to mind his own business. Stunned, he walked back to his car shaking his head, wondering, WTF!! The irony here is that you think you have a person's best interests at hand and you say something or make an action that you think is helpful, only to realize that asking first would have been a better choice. Or maybe to realize that you don't know what that person's life is, really. You can't walk in another's shoes or see through their eyes, or think what they think or feel. The knee-jerk reaction is, generally, never good. It can end up alienating others, especially those close to you. Don't make this mistake. We can't all save the world and the ironic thing is that parts of the world don't WANT to be saved. There's a message for someone there, I think. Maybe it's me.
I invite you to read a CLASSIC story of irony that goes hand-in-hand with the Holidays. The story is by Ohenry, and is entitled The Gift of the Magi. Many of you are probably very familiar with this timeless tale of love and irony. Click on the link below. Please take the time to check it out, it's only 2 pages long. www.online-literature.com/O_henry/1014/
Enjoy and thanks for stopping by LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Monday, December 17, 2007
THE MALAISE
Hello my friends:
Is it enough for me to say that I Hate Winter? I don't know if those 3 words acurately convey my disdain for the worst parts of this cursed season. I know, I know, just move if you don't like it. For me, in my situation, that's not possible. Every year, usually between Jan. 15 and Mar. 1st, I come down with a case of the winter blues.
THE BLUES OF WINTER
I'll try not to belabor the point. The Winter Blues is not, for me, cabin fever or post holiday stress bullshit. It's just the fact that I don't like the cold, especially the howling winds that often accompany the cold. Truth be told, I don't mind the snow that much. I actually feel pretty good after shoveling the driveway, though I think it's only cause I'm finished.
Look, I'm a tee shirt and shorts-type of guy. I figure, if you're too hot, check out some AC. In the cold, you always have to put on more clothes. "Layer yourself, man, that'll keep you warm." Yeah, and then I start taking stuff off when I get warm, and run myself through a series of electrical shocks from static as each layer comes off. If it's dark in the room, you can easily see the sparks. One of these days, my hairy ass is going up in a flashing ball of fire.
As for the Blues of Winter, I caught them Saturday night, just as the storm started, while driving to work. I'm thinking to myself, "We haven't even REACHED the first day of Winter, and I've already hit the depression. I'm in trouble.
THE SOLUTION TO THE WINTER BLUES
Is it a mantra you must chant to get yourself through it? Is there a change in diet that needs to take place? (diet...that's a funny word) Is there someone you need to talk to? NO, NO, and NO. The answer, my friends, is very easy to find. It's inside of you. It's the part of you that says, "HEY ASSHOLE!! YOU LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST. GET OVER YOURSELF. IT'S FREAKIN' WINTER. IF YOU HAD THE MONEY, YOU'D MOVE, BUT YOU DON'T. SO SUCK IT THE FREAK UP!!"
It's here, and it's not going away anytime soon. Maybe we'll get lucky and it'll have a mild back-end and I can start playing golf in March. You wouldn't believe what a pain in the ass a frozen, snow and ice-packed train is like to work on. It's cold, even when it comes into the shop. Never mind trudging across the yard in shin or knee-deep snow to get to a frozen hunk of HARD metal. "HEY, MAYBE IF YOU HAD STAYED IN SCHOOL AND LAID OFF OF THE KIND BUD, YOU MIGHT HAVE A JOB THAT ALLOWS YOU TO GET AWAY FROM THE TERM WIND-CHILL FACTOR!!!!!
Ah... but I digress. One round of shovelling snow brings you back. There's something pretty cool about being out in your driveway, when it's snowing big flakes, and there's no cars out, so it's quiet, ya know? If you stand there silent, you can hear the flakes hit the ground. Pretty neat. BTW, I'm completely sober while typing this.
Winter is here. I hope Patty keeps the heating bill up to date. I hate the cold.
From LEN IS RIGHT Headquarters,
I am,
Len Tollerton
Is it enough for me to say that I Hate Winter? I don't know if those 3 words acurately convey my disdain for the worst parts of this cursed season. I know, I know, just move if you don't like it. For me, in my situation, that's not possible. Every year, usually between Jan. 15 and Mar. 1st, I come down with a case of the winter blues.
THE BLUES OF WINTER
I'll try not to belabor the point. The Winter Blues is not, for me, cabin fever or post holiday stress bullshit. It's just the fact that I don't like the cold, especially the howling winds that often accompany the cold. Truth be told, I don't mind the snow that much. I actually feel pretty good after shoveling the driveway, though I think it's only cause I'm finished.
Look, I'm a tee shirt and shorts-type of guy. I figure, if you're too hot, check out some AC. In the cold, you always have to put on more clothes. "Layer yourself, man, that'll keep you warm." Yeah, and then I start taking stuff off when I get warm, and run myself through a series of electrical shocks from static as each layer comes off. If it's dark in the room, you can easily see the sparks. One of these days, my hairy ass is going up in a flashing ball of fire.
As for the Blues of Winter, I caught them Saturday night, just as the storm started, while driving to work. I'm thinking to myself, "We haven't even REACHED the first day of Winter, and I've already hit the depression. I'm in trouble.
THE SOLUTION TO THE WINTER BLUES
Is it a mantra you must chant to get yourself through it? Is there a change in diet that needs to take place? (diet...that's a funny word) Is there someone you need to talk to? NO, NO, and NO. The answer, my friends, is very easy to find. It's inside of you. It's the part of you that says, "HEY ASSHOLE!! YOU LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST. GET OVER YOURSELF. IT'S FREAKIN' WINTER. IF YOU HAD THE MONEY, YOU'D MOVE, BUT YOU DON'T. SO SUCK IT THE FREAK UP!!"
It's here, and it's not going away anytime soon. Maybe we'll get lucky and it'll have a mild back-end and I can start playing golf in March. You wouldn't believe what a pain in the ass a frozen, snow and ice-packed train is like to work on. It's cold, even when it comes into the shop. Never mind trudging across the yard in shin or knee-deep snow to get to a frozen hunk of HARD metal. "HEY, MAYBE IF YOU HAD STAYED IN SCHOOL AND LAID OFF OF THE KIND BUD, YOU MIGHT HAVE A JOB THAT ALLOWS YOU TO GET AWAY FROM THE TERM WIND-CHILL FACTOR!!!!!
Ah... but I digress. One round of shovelling snow brings you back. There's something pretty cool about being out in your driveway, when it's snowing big flakes, and there's no cars out, so it's quiet, ya know? If you stand there silent, you can hear the flakes hit the ground. Pretty neat. BTW, I'm completely sober while typing this.
Winter is here. I hope Patty keeps the heating bill up to date. I hate the cold.
From LEN IS RIGHT Headquarters,
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
LEN'S FAVORITES AND NON-FAVORITES
Hey Now:
This being the holiday season, I thought what would the minions like for Christmas. I know. A list of Len's personal favorites so the minions know exactly what to get the master and what to avoid. Usually it's all about you. But for today, it's gonna have to be about me. But of course, it's for the purposes of helping YOU. This mind set is what helps make ME RIGHT. So here goes:
LEN's FAVORITES:
Food Section
Teriyaki Sirloin from The Barnsider--Med. rare
Steak cooked Med. rare or rare
King Crab legs
NY City-style pizza
BBQ ribs (pork, not beef/any style)
Pan-seared salmon
Big freakin' shrimp
Sushi
Garlicky food
Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam
Drakes Funny Bones and Ring Dings
(no surprise there, just look at me)
Blackberry or blueberry pie
Tanqueray Gin
Knob Creek Bourbon
Harpoon India Pale Ale
Iced tea (sweetened no lemon)
Music--which, by the way, I consider one of the most important things in life
Most Heavy Metal (especially the following
styles:Heavy, Power, Progressive) and Hard Rock
Favorite Bands: Rush, Black Sabbath (all singers),
Iron Maiden, Judas Priest,
AC/DC, Disturbed
Mercyful Fate, The Sword,
UFO
Hard Rock bands like: Soundgarden,
Wolfmother, Led Zep, King's X,
Foo Fighters, Black Stone Cherry
Guilty Pleasures (don't laugh):
Herb Alpert and the TJB
Rocking Kelly Clarkson songs
Jesus Christ Superstar
Sports:
NY Mets
KC Chiefs
Montreal Canadiens
The Assassins (my fantasy football team)
Playing golf/football/baseball/bowling
Poker (I know...a game not a sport)
Movies:
Jaws--my alltime #1
Star Wars (ep. 3-6)
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Indiana Jones movies
Dogma
Godfather (1 and 2, only)
Goodfellas
The Lion in Winter
Guilty Pleasures:
Love Actually-great holiday chick flick
Favorite All-Time Books
Lord of the Rings trilogy
The Hobbit
Fool on the Hill-fantastic book by Matt Ruff--tough to find
The Fionavar Tapestry--Guy Gavriel Kay
The Firm--John Grisham
Deathstalker series--Simon Green
Silence of the Lambs
Angels and Demons/DaVinci Code--Dan Brown
The Mists of Avalon--King Arthur story told from the women's point of view--very good
MISCELLANEOUS FAVORITES:
Patty, Connor and Jackson
My car--1999 Ford Crown Victoria
The Kind Bud--if you have to ask forget it
Women in heels
Dungeons and Dragons
Poker tourneys and home poker games
Smoking cigarettes--though I've recently quit
Long dinners at great restaurants
My close circle of friends--you know who you are
ABSOLUTE NON-FAVORITES
Goulash
Lima Beans
Onions (most not all styles)
Coconut--in any form whatsoever
Organ meats--except liver
White wine
Vodka
Country Western Music
Ballet
Most opera
Death and Hardcore Metal
Dylan/Seeger/Most Springsteen
Whiners and Drama queens
Any celeb with a political cause
ORGANIZED RELIGIONS--especially right-wing born-again Christians of any kind
Local Amtrak management
White trash/Black thugs-gangstas/dickhead Muslims with a cause/snobby Jews
The Unbathed-filthy people, not a band
Drunks--again people, not a band
Sleepless in Seattle/You've Got Mail
Spam--the email, not the food
Weak-minded people
The NBA--since Dr.J retired
Men who beat women
School bullies
HEROES:
ME
My wife and kids
Angus Young/Tony Iommi/Alex Lifeson/Tipton and Downing/Scott Gorham/Ian Gillan
Tom Seaver/Emmitt Smith/Julius Erving-most incredible hoop player ever/Pistol Pete Maravich/Patrick Roy-you can have Hasek, Parent, Brodeur, and Vachon, I'll take Patrick over all of them/Strawberry and Gooden--before drugs/Ken Dryden/1980 US Olympic Hockey Team/Nicklaus and Tiger/Earl Anthony--greatest, smoothest bowler of all time/Ken Griffey Jr./Jack Youngblood and Fred Dryer--1970's L.A. Rams Defensive linemen/Walt "Clyde" Frazier
Okay, thanks for indulging me for a few minutes. Stay tuned for the next episode of
LEN IS RIGHT
Until next time, Peace to my people on Earth.
I am,
Len Tollerton
This being the holiday season, I thought what would the minions like for Christmas. I know. A list of Len's personal favorites so the minions know exactly what to get the master and what to avoid. Usually it's all about you. But for today, it's gonna have to be about me. But of course, it's for the purposes of helping YOU. This mind set is what helps make ME RIGHT. So here goes:
LEN's FAVORITES:
Food Section
Teriyaki Sirloin from The Barnsider--Med. rare
Steak cooked Med. rare or rare
King Crab legs
NY City-style pizza
BBQ ribs (pork, not beef/any style)
Pan-seared salmon
Big freakin' shrimp
Sushi
Garlicky food
Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam
Drakes Funny Bones and Ring Dings
(no surprise there, just look at me)
Blackberry or blueberry pie
Tanqueray Gin
Knob Creek Bourbon
Harpoon India Pale Ale
Iced tea (sweetened no lemon)
Music--which, by the way, I consider one of the most important things in life
Most Heavy Metal (especially the following
styles:Heavy, Power, Progressive) and Hard Rock
Favorite Bands: Rush, Black Sabbath (all singers),
Iron Maiden, Judas Priest,
AC/DC, Disturbed
Mercyful Fate, The Sword,
UFO
Hard Rock bands like: Soundgarden,
Wolfmother, Led Zep, King's X,
Foo Fighters, Black Stone Cherry
Guilty Pleasures (don't laugh):
Herb Alpert and the TJB
Rocking Kelly Clarkson songs
Jesus Christ Superstar
Sports:
NY Mets
KC Chiefs
Montreal Canadiens
The Assassins (my fantasy football team)
Playing golf/football/baseball/bowling
Poker (I know...a game not a sport)
Movies:
Jaws--my alltime #1
Star Wars (ep. 3-6)
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Indiana Jones movies
Dogma
Godfather (1 and 2, only)
Goodfellas
The Lion in Winter
Guilty Pleasures:
Love Actually-great holiday chick flick
Favorite All-Time Books
Lord of the Rings trilogy
The Hobbit
Fool on the Hill-fantastic book by Matt Ruff--tough to find
The Fionavar Tapestry--Guy Gavriel Kay
The Firm--John Grisham
Deathstalker series--Simon Green
Silence of the Lambs
Angels and Demons/DaVinci Code--Dan Brown
The Mists of Avalon--King Arthur story told from the women's point of view--very good
MISCELLANEOUS FAVORITES:
Patty, Connor and Jackson
My car--1999 Ford Crown Victoria
The Kind Bud--if you have to ask forget it
Women in heels
Dungeons and Dragons
Poker tourneys and home poker games
Smoking cigarettes--though I've recently quit
Long dinners at great restaurants
My close circle of friends--you know who you are
ABSOLUTE NON-FAVORITES
Goulash
Lima Beans
Onions (most not all styles)
Coconut--in any form whatsoever
Organ meats--except liver
White wine
Vodka
Country Western Music
Ballet
Most opera
Death and Hardcore Metal
Dylan/Seeger/Most Springsteen
Whiners and Drama queens
Any celeb with a political cause
ORGANIZED RELIGIONS--especially right-wing born-again Christians of any kind
Local Amtrak management
White trash/Black thugs-gangstas/dickhead Muslims with a cause/snobby Jews
The Unbathed-filthy people, not a band
Drunks--again people, not a band
Sleepless in Seattle/You've Got Mail
Spam--the email, not the food
Weak-minded people
The NBA--since Dr.J retired
Men who beat women
School bullies
HEROES:
ME
My wife and kids
Angus Young/Tony Iommi/Alex Lifeson/Tipton and Downing/Scott Gorham/Ian Gillan
Tom Seaver/Emmitt Smith/Julius Erving-most incredible hoop player ever/Pistol Pete Maravich/Patrick Roy-you can have Hasek, Parent, Brodeur, and Vachon, I'll take Patrick over all of them/Strawberry and Gooden--before drugs/Ken Dryden/1980 US Olympic Hockey Team/Nicklaus and Tiger/Earl Anthony--greatest, smoothest bowler of all time/Ken Griffey Jr./Jack Youngblood and Fred Dryer--1970's L.A. Rams Defensive linemen/Walt "Clyde" Frazier
Okay, thanks for indulging me for a few minutes. Stay tuned for the next episode of
LEN IS RIGHT
Until next time, Peace to my people on Earth.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Saturday, December 08, 2007
DOMINATED BY THE SHAW KID
MINIONS:
Okay, none of you ever respond to my poll questions. What kind of minions are YOU??!! You disappoint your master during the holiday season. I'm starting to get a complex. But I bet after what I'm about to tell you, I'll hear from people in freakin' Helsinki, Finland. (That's where the fans of the Assassins from Shadowland reside. The Assassins are my beloved Fantasy Football team. Our home stadium, the Pit of Despair, is in Helsinki. Makes the visiting team tired.....jet lag, ya know.)
Anyway......here we go. I bowl every 2 or 3 months. I can usually shoot anywhere from 160-230, depending on if I suck that day or not. I roll a decent ball, but have a problem with being consistent. Kind of like my golf game, though I'm better at bowling. I'm sure my father-in-law's friends in Florida will attest to that. So today I bowled in the Coach-N-Kids tournament at Sunset Lanes in Colonie. Since I don't have a sanctioned average, I had to bowl to a 200 average. I knew I wasn't likely to bowl a 600 triple, but I figured I could handle 550-580.
Our team consisted of Jackson's friend C.J. (100 avg.), Jackson (127 avg.), and Jack's team Captain, Nick Shaw (137 avg.). Okay, so I'm just bowling because they need an adult, but I'm really looking forward to it. I want to bowl really well to continue my son's hero-worship of me (tongue-in-cheek, for those who don't know me). I'm generally good at making spares. Not today, folks. No excuses, either. I just didn't have it today. Games of 155, 178 (striking out in the 10th frame), and 150 (let me just puke all over my shoes, thank-you). A 483 triple, and about 100 pins less than I had hoped for.
The Shaw kid? First, let me tell you all that his 137 average is not as accurate as you may believe. I've seen this kid throw games in the 180's, 190's and 200's. I've seen him string 5 or 6 strikes at times, then come back and throw a gutter ball. He has some talent, and I think some day he'll be on his school team, and will probably easily average in the 200's. So, this kid rolls a 133, 183, and 176, for a 492 triple. Absolutely kicks this old guy's butt, stringing strikes, making spares, just DOMINATING the master blogger. In truth, I was VERY happy for him. I really enjoy watching Jackson and Nick bowl every Saturday morning. They're both great kids with great senses of humor. They're both knuckleheads, but they're alot of fun to hang around with (when they're not being little wise-asses). I hope when they grow to be adults, that we can all hang out together playing sports, music, or just having a cocktail or two. That probably won't be until they're in their 30's, cause 20 year old guys don't usually want to hang with guys in their 50's or 60's. Luckilly, Nick's mom (the lovely Wiccan mentioned in a past post) and C.J.'s mom didn't bust my balls too bad. I was hoping to make a better showing so my teammates had a chance to grab a trophy, but not this time. Hopefully I'll be asked to participate again, cause I had alot of fun with these guys.
Since I know I have a limited audience, I will make this open wager to MY minions. I'll bowl anyone out there for the princely sum of $5/game. I'm that sure of my awesome talents. Even Chuck the E. o D. I might even be willing to go $10/game. Of course, after watching my display today, I wouldn't be surprised to see Nick's mom take me up on that wager. I think she used to bowl on the Ladies Pro Tour. I'm confident, though, cause I think I can throw her off her game by stealing her Mint Mojito gum. Ha-Hah!!! I got a plan, baby!!
You know how I know this will work? Because LEN IS RIGHT. You know it. I know it, and Jackson knows it. Stick that in your snot-locker folks.
Bring the abuse, people. I can take it. More from the home front later this week. Cheers.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Okay, none of you ever respond to my poll questions. What kind of minions are YOU??!! You disappoint your master during the holiday season. I'm starting to get a complex. But I bet after what I'm about to tell you, I'll hear from people in freakin' Helsinki, Finland. (That's where the fans of the Assassins from Shadowland reside. The Assassins are my beloved Fantasy Football team. Our home stadium, the Pit of Despair, is in Helsinki. Makes the visiting team tired.....jet lag, ya know.)
Anyway......here we go. I bowl every 2 or 3 months. I can usually shoot anywhere from 160-230, depending on if I suck that day or not. I roll a decent ball, but have a problem with being consistent. Kind of like my golf game, though I'm better at bowling. I'm sure my father-in-law's friends in Florida will attest to that. So today I bowled in the Coach-N-Kids tournament at Sunset Lanes in Colonie. Since I don't have a sanctioned average, I had to bowl to a 200 average. I knew I wasn't likely to bowl a 600 triple, but I figured I could handle 550-580.
Our team consisted of Jackson's friend C.J. (100 avg.), Jackson (127 avg.), and Jack's team Captain, Nick Shaw (137 avg.). Okay, so I'm just bowling because they need an adult, but I'm really looking forward to it. I want to bowl really well to continue my son's hero-worship of me (tongue-in-cheek, for those who don't know me). I'm generally good at making spares. Not today, folks. No excuses, either. I just didn't have it today. Games of 155, 178 (striking out in the 10th frame), and 150 (let me just puke all over my shoes, thank-you). A 483 triple, and about 100 pins less than I had hoped for.
The Shaw kid? First, let me tell you all that his 137 average is not as accurate as you may believe. I've seen this kid throw games in the 180's, 190's and 200's. I've seen him string 5 or 6 strikes at times, then come back and throw a gutter ball. He has some talent, and I think some day he'll be on his school team, and will probably easily average in the 200's. So, this kid rolls a 133, 183, and 176, for a 492 triple. Absolutely kicks this old guy's butt, stringing strikes, making spares, just DOMINATING the master blogger. In truth, I was VERY happy for him. I really enjoy watching Jackson and Nick bowl every Saturday morning. They're both great kids with great senses of humor. They're both knuckleheads, but they're alot of fun to hang around with (when they're not being little wise-asses). I hope when they grow to be adults, that we can all hang out together playing sports, music, or just having a cocktail or two. That probably won't be until they're in their 30's, cause 20 year old guys don't usually want to hang with guys in their 50's or 60's. Luckilly, Nick's mom (the lovely Wiccan mentioned in a past post) and C.J.'s mom didn't bust my balls too bad. I was hoping to make a better showing so my teammates had a chance to grab a trophy, but not this time. Hopefully I'll be asked to participate again, cause I had alot of fun with these guys.
Since I know I have a limited audience, I will make this open wager to MY minions. I'll bowl anyone out there for the princely sum of $5/game. I'm that sure of my awesome talents. Even Chuck the E. o D. I might even be willing to go $10/game. Of course, after watching my display today, I wouldn't be surprised to see Nick's mom take me up on that wager. I think she used to bowl on the Ladies Pro Tour. I'm confident, though, cause I think I can throw her off her game by stealing her Mint Mojito gum. Ha-Hah!!! I got a plan, baby!!
You know how I know this will work? Because LEN IS RIGHT. You know it. I know it, and Jackson knows it. Stick that in your snot-locker folks.
Bring the abuse, people. I can take it. More from the home front later this week. Cheers.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Monday, December 03, 2007
THE GLAZE
Good morning Minions:
Well, it's finally here, folks. Winter has officially settled in here in the Great Northeast. And what, you ask, is The Glaze?
In our house, we call it Magic Shell. It is that nice layer of thin, rippled ice that covers everything in sight, takes forever to defrost, and doesn't scrape off easily. Although I will say we were somewhat lucky, as the temperature rose into the 30's around 4:00 a.m. and the freezing rain turned to plain rain, and just made everything wet. At least that's how it was in Albany. Outlying areas, I don't know.
THE MIDNIGHT COMMUTE
I was fortunate to have to drive to work as the storm got going in earnest, last night around 11:30. From 11:00-12:00 the weather went from snow, to light rain, to freezing rain, to sleet. The beginning of the commute wasn't bad, but as I progressed, the roads got worse, culminating with the Amtrak parking lot, which hadn't been salted by the Building and Bridge Dept, and was thus a single sheet of ice.
One guy got taken out in an ambulance after falling in the railyard. He was a Coach Cleaner who was crossing the tracks to get to his train. Unfortunately for him, he decided against wearing his hard hat and is now not likely to have any recompense for his injury because he wasn't wearing the required Personal Protective Equipment. That's the way things work with injuries at Amtrak.
Anyway...I was able to get enough fishtailing practice with my car, that now I am all set for the winter. I feel I can now safely navigate any of winter's driving pitfalls, for the season. Of course my car is rear-wheel drive, so my car CAN fishtail. Most of you folks never experience this with front-wheel drive. But I like to live on the edge. I'm radical, baby.
It's always interesting watching the people who forgot how to drive in winter weather conditions every year. It's like it's their first winter ever. People, adjust for the conditions, huh? Be safe and don't assume everyone drives as well as you do. Have some escape room, slow down a little and stay off of your freakin' cellphone. We know you're gonna be late, honey, just get there safe. Stop talking on the phone telling the office the obvious.
I think you know that, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Well, it's finally here, folks. Winter has officially settled in here in the Great Northeast. And what, you ask, is The Glaze?
In our house, we call it Magic Shell. It is that nice layer of thin, rippled ice that covers everything in sight, takes forever to defrost, and doesn't scrape off easily. Although I will say we were somewhat lucky, as the temperature rose into the 30's around 4:00 a.m. and the freezing rain turned to plain rain, and just made everything wet. At least that's how it was in Albany. Outlying areas, I don't know.
THE MIDNIGHT COMMUTE
I was fortunate to have to drive to work as the storm got going in earnest, last night around 11:30. From 11:00-12:00 the weather went from snow, to light rain, to freezing rain, to sleet. The beginning of the commute wasn't bad, but as I progressed, the roads got worse, culminating with the Amtrak parking lot, which hadn't been salted by the Building and Bridge Dept, and was thus a single sheet of ice.
One guy got taken out in an ambulance after falling in the railyard. He was a Coach Cleaner who was crossing the tracks to get to his train. Unfortunately for him, he decided against wearing his hard hat and is now not likely to have any recompense for his injury because he wasn't wearing the required Personal Protective Equipment. That's the way things work with injuries at Amtrak.
Anyway...I was able to get enough fishtailing practice with my car, that now I am all set for the winter. I feel I can now safely navigate any of winter's driving pitfalls, for the season. Of course my car is rear-wheel drive, so my car CAN fishtail. Most of you folks never experience this with front-wheel drive. But I like to live on the edge. I'm radical, baby.
It's always interesting watching the people who forgot how to drive in winter weather conditions every year. It's like it's their first winter ever. People, adjust for the conditions, huh? Be safe and don't assume everyone drives as well as you do. Have some escape room, slow down a little and stay off of your freakin' cellphone. We know you're gonna be late, honey, just get there safe. Stop talking on the phone telling the office the obvious.
I think you know that, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
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