Sunday, September 13, 2009

TODAY'S WHY?

Hello Minions:
I trust you all are well. Today is the Opening Sunday of the 2009 NFL season. It's going to be another losing season for my Chiefs, but I remain optimistic. Anyhoooo...............

Today, I went into this new Asian Supermarket (strangely enough, it's called Asian Supermarket). If you ever lived in Albany/Colonie, NY, then You'll know where it's located if i say it's where Rosano's Hardware used to be on Central Ave. I went in to buy some noodle soups. It's the second time I've been in the store, and the 10th or 20th time that I've been in an Asian market. I gotta tell ya, I don't think they want my money, and I don't think they want me in their store. I always try to smile and say hello, but it's like I'm unclean and that it's beneath them to deal with me. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a reason for this? I'm always polite and friendly. Is it prejudice? Is it because I'm tall, dark, and hairy? Is it mistrust? (Do I look like a thug?) I'd appreciate some feedback. Why spend my hard-earned money in a place where I'm not wanted? Asians are nice to me when I go to their restaurants. WTF happens at the market?

Now, another "WHY?" I'm struggling with is this...Why is it when you take a shower at home, or go to someone's house to swim, and you come home and hang your towels and bathing suits up to dry, and they're dry in the morning. But you go away to the ocean, and come back to the motel room and hang up your towels and suits, and they're still extremely wet in the morning? Why the hell is that? Is the air different by the sea, like Barometric pressure or something? Then you gotta hope the place has a dryer. What gives?

What does it say about us as a nation, when we're going to give The "OctoMom" a reality TV show? Do we actually need to watch train-wrecks to affirm our lives aren't so bad? I mean, I am repulsed by the very idea that this baby-machine cow is given anything more than her public assistance. I hope it's going to be fast and not very painful, but I'm not in fear of December 2012. You know, when the Mayan calendar ends and the world is supposed to come to an end, blah, blah, blah....I almost hope it happens, so as to make the other intelligent life in the universe stop laughing at us. I really believe we're the laughing-stock of the Universe. "Look at those stupid humans on Earth! They just don't know when to stop being dolts." "I agree Grubnak, they're a bunch of dipshit dildoes. They just gave credence to the manatee with 14 offspring. Here, we'd send her to the planet Fleep-Fleep for sterilization and mind erasure." C'mon, folks. Is this where we've come in our evolution? Is this all we can put forth? Greed and hype exploiting the stupid for their money and attention. SHAME HUMANS.

I am REALLY right with that.
See ya.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Sunday, August 02, 2009

AC/DC, MY FRIENDS

WE WENT. WE WORSHIPED. WE WERE BLOWN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd stood for the entire show. I have irreversible hearing damage. I whiplashed myself after 4 songs and went hoarse after 5. These 50-60 year-old men rocked the house so hard that the arena's foundation cracked. Everyone sang all of the songs.

If you missed it, YOU ARE BUMMING, BABY!!
If you still get the chance, go see this band in your city.
For Those About To Rock............FIRE!!!!!!!
BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!!

AC/DC, my friends.
LEN IS RIGHT bids you a fond "Good Evening"

I am,
Len Tollerton

Saturday, August 01, 2009

CONCERT WEEK AND THE BIG POKER TOURNEY

Hey Minions:
This is the back end of concert week for us here at the Tollerton compound. Last week (July 25), I began my week of vacation by taking the boys and one of their cousins to see Green Day at the Times Union Center in Albany.

We weren't interested in the warm-up act, The Bravery, an emo-punk act out of NY City. We were right. They sucked, in our collective opinion. But we weren't there for them. At 8:35, Green Day hit the stage with the title cut off their new album, 21st Century Breakdown, and then went right into their big hit off of that CD, Know Your Enemy. Let me tell ya, folks, the house was rockin', big time. Green Day played most of their big hits (thankfully omitting the dirge-like When Spetember Ends) over 2 1/2 hours. that's right, 2 1/2 hours of power-punk-pop, that had the whole place singing, shouting and doing the ol' "call and return" thing. I don't think anyone walked away disappointed. Apparently I'm getting older, as I needed to use ear plugs for a portion of the show (the songs I wasn't familiar with). At around $60/ticket, this was well worth the money. The entire band was very energetic, funny, and fun, with leader Billie Joe Armstrong giving it his all. If you like this band's music and have a chance to see them, you should make it a point to do so. I give this show a 9.5

GUNTHER/MILES POKER TOURNEY
Tonight (Sat. 8/2) is the big annual Gunther/Miles poker tourney out in Guilderland. I've written about this event before. Joe Gunther, Niko Miles and Sue Gunther have been running this top-notch event for a few years now and I've been lucky enough to attend the last three. Last year, I finished 2nd, losing to a guy named Brian Kelly, who I nicknamed "The Mountain" because of the huge mountian of chips he had piled when we started the Final Table action. It was my 2nd Final table in 3 years at this tourney. I will be playing alongside, Roy The G.B. King, Chuck the E.o.D., and Extreme Justin. Chris the DotCom Destroyer and DVK from across the street can't make it this year. But I think we'll still have fun. It would be extremely cool if we all could make the Final. 64 tough players in this one.

AC/DC ON SUNDAY
Friends, this is the Big One. Sunday night AC/DC rolls into Albany with their Black Ice tour. Me and the boys, friend Sansone and daughter, and Rugged Russom (owner of Bret and Doc the horses and Mitzi the German shepherd) will be attending this rock fest. If you've never seen them, trust me when I say, go see them NOW!!!!! They won't be doing too many more tours, if any. This band has been great each of the 5 times I've seen them.

What makes this show even better, for me, is that The Answer, the band I've been touting for the last year is the warm-up act. They are going to rip it up. I may have trouble making it to work the next day. I will NOT be wearing hearing protection for this one. Full frontal assault, my friends. Let it wash over you or leave like a beaten dog.

My review and the report of the Gunther/Miles tourney will follow this week. Hopefully, I'll be around for the end of that one. Please, folks, if you haven't bought tickets for the Albany AC/DC show, or if they're coming to a town close to you, PLEASE spend the money and go to the show. Worship, my friends, at the True Altar of Rock. Angus and the boys may be in their 50's (and 60's), but you will thank me later after your soul has been saved by music. You know the songs, you need the rock......Go and be saved.

LEN IS MOST CERTAINLY RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
Rock on, minions,
I am,
Len Tollerton

p.s. read on further for the report of the Jersy shore vacation

BACK FROM THE SHORE

Hey Minions:
Greetings, folks. Hope your summer is being enjoyed. I'm sure it is, especially if you're a duck. Much too much rain this year. Many of my neighbors have eschewed taking their pool covers off, feeling the rain has lost them the summer, so why bother? It IS some work owning and maintaining a pool. But on a day like today (sunny w/projected high of 86), you're happy you have one.

Just got back from the Jersy shore (Cape May). It was our first trip there. Here are my ratings:

Motel--I give it a 6. The Blue Fish Inn, a small (12 Units) motel about 6 blocks from the beach. Older, but updated, with a small swimming pool. It was okay. The staff was very friendly and helpful. Rooms were layed out strangely and a bit overpriced, but it's the season. Wouldn't go back. Chose this place because we reserved late and most other places were too high ($$$) or unavailable.

Beach---I give it a 7. GREAT, and I mean great waves (maybe because of the windy weather and storms). The boys and I got beat up pretty good, but had fun. Unfortunately, because of the choppiness, the beach near the water was mostly stones, shells and pebbles. Very hard on the feet. 10-20 feet into the surf the bottom was all gravel and also hard on the feet. Undertow was the strongest I've ever experienced. The town charges $5/day to get onto the beach...I assume to keep out the riff-raff (whatever that is....I guess "huniacs" from the City). We all got sunburned despite our applications of Sun-Block. PT did not enjoy it at all. Beach was very clean and manicured every morning.

Town---Can't give an accurate rating. Houses, Inns andthe like were all beautiful. Lrge Victorian structures, beautifully decorated/painted. Nice town to walk around in. I took a 3-4 mile walk every morning, so I got to see alot of it. Many shops, restaurants, small boardwalk, you know, the typical seaside resort community. Wish we had more time to explore things and avail ourselves of the surroundings (kayak tours, whale watching, driving to Wildwood for the boardwalk). Went to a tavern the first night and spent $100 on sandwiches and drinks. Plus, our table kept getting dripped on by and overhead air duct that had condensation build-up from the humidity. the waitress basically said, "Sorry, can't help you." No comps for inconvenience or anything. would have bought a shirt from the place, but we were turned off by the whole experience. Later meals were better and cheaper.

Overall---I guess a 7, at best. This may be due to first day sunburns and the unhappiness with the motel. Perhaps a different motel, closer to the beach, less sunburns, less shell/stone on the beach (it's NOT that way in Gloucester, the water's just colder), MUCH TOO MANY Phillies fans walking around. Will we go back? Probably not, but I don't rule it out.

Over this next year, we'll be making a family plan for next year, as to what we want out of our vacation time and money. Florida is always an option because PT's dad lives there and we know alot of people there, and we know what there is to do (amusement parks, golf, good beaches, etc...)Downside of Florida is that in the summer it's really hot and humid and it's also hurricane season. Plus, the ocean water is generally too warm to be refreshing. But it's gotten familiar. We all have different agendas for vacation. Some people just want a quiet beach to hang out on for the week (PT and me), some want stuff to do (me and the boys), some are on a budget (us, usually), some want familiarity. We'll be studying our options over the coming year.

Please don't judge the Cape May, NJ area by my report. Go and try it for yourself. We just didn't think we got enough bang for the buck. This was 50% the area/motel/beach condition and 50% us looking at the glass half-empty. We'll prob try Virginia Beach or the Outer Banks, or Cape Cod next year.

Peace Minions.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Thursday, June 04, 2009

FARRAH, REVIEWS, AND A FOND FAREWELL

My Friends:
It's been 2 months since our last meeting. Much has happened for all of us, and I hope this post finds you all in fairly decent health. Summer is upon us and, hopefully we all have some fun planned.

First, I must discuss a recent TV show. I'm sure some of you saw the Farrah Fawcett show on NBC, detailing Farrah's trials and tribulations with her cancer treatments and how she's being a real trouper. Now, I didn't watch the show, I'll admit that right off the bat. The reason I didn't watch it is because I didn't want to have to feel bad for "poor" Farrah. I couldn't stand to sit and watch what I thought was going to be a fluff piece saying Goodbye to America's Sweetheart. I'm supposed to feel sorry for this woman? What? Was this a tribute? Something to make her feel better, to help her know that America cares?

I'm hoping that the reason for the show was more to show what cancer patients have to go through everyday, whether you're famous or not. I happen to have a good friend, that I work with, who is going through some very painful treatment right now. He has a tumor on the back of his tongue, which led to surgery to remove secondary, larger tumors AND 23 lymph nodes. He just went through 33 radiation treatments and chemo for 6 weeks. He had to have a food tube put in because he couldn't be allowed to swallow. After the treatments, he has to go and have long needles go through his neck and implant two stents in his tongue and have radiation seeds put into his tongue. His doctor's optimistic that his problem can be cured.

So, I hope that was the point of the Farrah show. To show what a terrible thing it can be to go through this ordeal. We end up becoming pin cushions without a guarantee. The money's in the treatment, you see, not the cure. That's a terrible thought. Maybe I'm a curmudgeon.

MOVIE REVIEWS
We've been to the movies 3 times in the last few weeks. Here's my take on those 3 films:
1.-Star Trek--We saw the movie in IMAX format at Crossgates Mall. The screen was very big. and the sound was very loud. It was the best of the Star Trek movies, for me. Even better than The Wrath Of Khan (with Ricardo Montalban). The story of Kirk and Spock and their early years and Starfleet Academy was a real winner. Action to the max, great humor and a great story to go along with the special effects. I can't imagine ever paying $15.25 per ticket to go to the IMAX again ($61 for the family to see a freakin' movie). Highly recommended.

2.- Angels and Demons--Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, and Ewan McGregor. Winning threesome hits a grand slam, right? Not if you read the book and are kind of sticklers about sticking to the story, like Patty and I are. They changed significant parts of the story to make the movie, which we thought were unnecessary and killed the film for us. If you didn't read the book, then you'd probably enjoy it. Not as controversial as the DaVinci Code...that's why it didn't do as well at the boxoffice, I'm sure. On a 1 to 10 basis, I'd say 4 if you read the book, and 7.5 if you didn't.

3.-Night At The Museum 2--Loved the first one, thought the sequel was queer as the shark was jumped, and they, of course, try to go overboard for the sequel. I fell asleep. The kids in Patty's class loved it. If you're younger you probably enjoyed it alot more than this adult did. When Ben Stiller's son was able to hack into the Smithsonian's blueprints and floor plans, you lost me. Proceed with your entertainment dollar cautiously.

UPCOMING CONCERTS
This summer the Tollertons (mostly me and the boys) will be going to several concerts. First off, July 25 will be Green Day at the T. U. Center in downtown Albany. This will be a fun and crazy show. I've never seen these "Merry Punkers: live, but I was told their last show here was a roof-raiser. I really like their new song, "Know Your Enemy."

Next, will be August 2nd, we'll be seeing the always awesome AC/DC. We'll be going with friend Sansone and his daughter Alicia, along with a Country-loving friend Rugged Russom. Russom likes to talk up Toby Keith and the like. I told him, "Brother, until you've seen Angus Young strutting around with his guitar and felt the cannons during For Those About To Rock, you don't know the meaning of the term, "worship at the altar of Rock." He couldn't pass up the chance to headbang with LIR.

In November we'll be checking out Metallica, The Sword and Down at the T.U. Center. This one is special because my kids have never had the chance to get blown out by the awesome power of Metallica. They need it to feed their soul and set them free. If we're lucky we may get the chance to meet them. I know someone close to the band. I won't name him here. He's an occasional reader of Len Is Right. I don't want you all flooding his email Inbox with requests. Hey, I know you people.

I may also take my lovely wife to see Def Leppard, Poison and Cheap Trick at Saratoga Perf. Arts Ctr. If she's nice to me.....and we leave ontime.

A VERY FOND FAREWELL
Edie Luce, the mother of my good friends Roy,"the G.B. King", and "Chuck, The Edge of Darkness," passed away in her sleep Wednesday morning after a couple of years of multiple health problems.

Edie was one heck of a painter, enjoying folk art and painting pictures that centered around her beloved Saratoga and the famous racetrack. She always was smiling (anytime I saw her), had a great sense of humor (you'd have to with her sons), was very hospitable and very accepting. I enjoyed the few times I was in her presence and I know her family will miss her very much. The last year was very tough on her, her husband of 62 years, Roy Sr., and the rest of her family. Her husband Roy and she spent New Year's Eve in adjoining beds in the hospital. Funny and sad at the same time.

My deepest condolences go out to Roy Jr., Chuck and the rest of the Luce family and friends. Edie was one of a kind.

Alright, friends, this was a tame post. I hope to find something that I can expel some vitriol on, soon. I'd like to do an "Extreme Justin" rant on something to let you know that Len Is Right is still alive and well and unsatisfied. But, do you really want to hear my thoughts on the Mets?

Be well. Send me your plans for summer concerts. Anyone going to anything good?
See ya.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Thursday, April 02, 2009

THE ANSWER

My friends:
Here is, possibly, the shortest post you'll ever see here.

As promised, "Everyday Demons" by The Answer has dropped into stores. If Len was EVER Right about something, this is it. Now if your music tastes don't run towards Led-Zeppelin-type rock, then this may not be for you.

But if you like good, hard-driving, guitar-based rock, then may I please be allowed to strongly recommend this band and this CD. They got a standing ovation on Letterman and warmed up for AC/DC on their recent world tour. These are four young guys from Northern Ireland and I think they're the real deal.

By the way, this is not heavy metal.
LEN IS SO VERY, VERY RIGHT ABOUT THIS ONE, FOLKS.

I am,
Len Tollerton

Saturday, March 14, 2009

HEY THERE, PEOPLE!

Minions:
How are we all in the month of March, 2009? Are we feeling good? Are we movin' and shakin' it up? I figured it's been a month since I talked with you, so maybe I'd blog it up a little. I had hoped to become a professional blogger, but, I don't feel the need to be chatty everyday.

So, here in Albany, we've got a couple of messed-up situations going on. First, sickness. Because we never had a 1-2 week stretch where the temperature was consistently single-digits or below-zero, the germs that would normally have gotten killed off, stayed alive and sent ALOT of people a nice little bug. You get this cold for, like, a week. Then, you start to feel better for a few days, then it comes right back again and kicks your butt for a day or two. And, unfortunately, it's a viral infection, as opposed to bacterial, ergo no need for anti-biotics. You just have to suck it up and deal with it. To explain the severity of this, I'll use as an example, my friend Roy the G.B. King. Roy used to work a ton of overtime, and like me, may book off from work maybe once a year. Well Roy booked off twice in one week because of this flu-bug. I, myself, went to the doctor's a couple of times. Sucks.

Next up is an event which happened last Saturday (3/7). There is an unnamed 14- year-old girl that our family is friends with, my kids have always been in school with, we've known her whole life. Long story short, last week she was walking to her house from a shopping mall and got to the end of her street, when some dickhead by the name of Brian McArdle (27, from Albany) jumped out of his car and grabbed our friend. She had enough sense of being to punch him, scream, and run away. After she described the guy and his car to the police, the police were quickly able to track him down and arrest him. Now, I know that anyone out there reading this is an upstanding human. You don't read LIR if you're not a normal human. Can someone out there explain to me what is the attraction to scaring, hurting and scarring children? Is it possible to even rehabillitate a person after they do this? Where is this bastard going to live after this?

Do you know this girl is scared to come out of her house? The one bright spot in all this was, that the girl's father is a prison guard (not at the jail this guy went to), her uncle is up high in the Sherriff's association ( I think), in short, I'm sure this guy's first night in the pokey was not okey-dokey. Since then, the guy made bail, and the paper reported that the court found that he has the mental capacity of a second grader. Trust me, I could blog for an hour about this whole thing. but I'm not going to say anything you haven't already thought of. I'm just glad my friend is alright physically. Mentally, I'm sure it will take a while before she's over this.

You can read about this at www.timesunion.com Click on Archives and type in Brian McArdle to the Search box. Anyway.........

I want to welcome one new reader and one I didn't know I had. Hello to Mrs. P the Cupcake Maker, and hello to Julie, Sansone's sister-in law, whom I ran into with her husband, Don, at the doctor's the other day. All of a sudden she says, "Keep On Bloggin!" I was surprised and happy to know someone else besides my email list was reading my rants. Thanks Julie. I'm sorry I don't know your last name, or I'd give you an Official LIR Nickname. I'd just say Deb's Sis, but that seems like a lack of your own identity. The Tethers Girl? I don't know. I'll figure it out.
Oh, and so as not to belittle Mrs. P's arrival, I'd like to recommend that you all drop by Sunset Lanes in Colonie some Saturday morning (before April 11th), and try to score some of Mrs. P's baking samples. Her cupcakes are the best. I mean that from a food standpoint. Her first attempt at doughnuts was pretty good, too. Perhaps she'll give me contact info and you can place an order with her so she can become the true professional that she'd love to be. Hey, how about someone serve designer cupcakes instead if a big wedding cake at the next reception. Now there's an idea. Cause you know Len Loves cuppy-cakes, Yummm.

Alright sports fans, March Madness is here. The conference tourneys are drawing to a close and the Big One will start next week. Good luck to all you Bracket Pool players. I'm pretty sure I'll be submitting an entry to the GunMiles Pool.

Last Thursday night, this guy that bowls in a different league, but at the same time as my league, bowled a 278, 279, and 289, for an 846 Triple. I can't imagine being that consistent. He bowls in 3 leagues and works at the place, but still...........

Hey, if you're in the Capital District on Saturday night, March 28, our good friend, Roy is throwing a Texas Hold-'Em tourney at his house. $75 Buy-In. Contact me if you'd like to play.

Alright, that's it for now. I'll try to be back w/in the week. In the meantime, remember that to Be Right, you gotta be a minion at LEN IS RIGHT.

The Answer's new CD, Everyday Demons drops into stores on March 31st. If you like Zeppelin/Black Crowes-type rock, I strongly recommend you pick this one up. Go to MySpace.com and type in The Answer band.

Peace to my Minions on Earth.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Friday, February 13, 2009

PHELPS AND A DAILY SMILE

My friends:
It's been a couple of weeks. A few pieces of news to share with you, PLUS, I've got something to say about a couple of things. First off, some news.

Last week, young son Jackson started to realize his rock and roll dream by playing a couple of songs at the Sand Creek Middle School 5/6 grade Variety Show. Jackson led his band, Frozen Sun, in rousing renditions of Judas Priest's "Breaking The Law", and AC/DC's TNT. We have some video tape of the show (not sure how I can get it online since it was done a a standard camcorder). Frozen Sun is made up of Jackson on guitar, his buddy C. J. on vocals, and this kid, Pete, on drums. At this point Jackson doesn't think he needs a bass player or a second guitarist, but as time goes on, he'll realize he needs, at least, a bass player. TNT came out alot better than Breaking the Law, but only cause the band didn't have alot of practice time. Nothing like seeing your 12-year-old son shaking his long, flowing, blonde hair around while flashing the devil's horns-hand sign on stage, and then hearing the crowd applaud at the end. He may now be the most popular kid in 6th Grade. May luck help us all. As the lyrics in TNT go, "Lock up your daughter/Lock up your wife/Lock up your backdoor and run for your life." Gird your loins, America, Frozen Sun is coming.

Last night at bowling, I threw 10 strikes in the first game and ended with a 286 (2 of them were of the 9-pin variety). then couldn't manage anything over 175. Talk about shooting your load all at once.

The new Ibanez SZ520 arrived yesterday and the shredding started in the house. As Jackson says, "Dad, that's a beautiful guitar." Shredalicious, baby!!

Now, onto my opinion section.

PHELPS AND THE BONG
If you read this blog, you'll already guess my opinion on this matter. Gold Medal winning swimmer, Michael Phelps, was photographed smoking a bong at a party. Here's my entire take on this. First off, when you're in the public eye, you've got to realize that there are going to be alot of people watching you and that you are under the microscope. Mike, close the door for goodness sake. Forget the fact that you are risking alot of endorsement money, and that you're supposed to be a role model. How about remembering these 2 words...CAMERA PHONE.

In my opinion, the camera phone is a bane to man's existence. We can't all be saints all of the time. And you have to realize that this little gem of technology allows for the "Scumbag Fringe" to take a picture of you in what may, or may not, be a compromising position. You wouldn't smoke that thing in front of a cop, right? Close the gosh darn door!! Would you go to a bar or restaurant and make out with another person while married, right? I mean, your chances of getting caught are increased exponentially with camera phones.

The lesson here is..."Know where you are, know who you're with, and if your actions seem somewhat shady, consider finding a private place to do said actions in. PRIVACY, my friends. Let's act smartly, shall we?

That being said, I hope the scumbag who took the picture and sold it to the Press, comes down with the Ebola virus and bleeds out of his/her eyes till dead, ya freakin' jerk. Phelps is under 25 years old, won how many Gold medals for America, and has to put up with assholes putting cameras all around him. I'm sorry, but legal or not, he's basically a kid. Let him let his hair down once in a while, huh? I also hope the companies that dropped their sponsorship of him go bankrupt. I'll bet the heads of those companies have done ALOT worse in their lives than smoke a little dope at a party. Here's a little message from Len Is Right. "SCREW YOU, YOU HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS! YOU HOLIER-THAN-THOU SHITHEADS CAN KISS MY ASS. I'll actively boycott all of their products and stores from now on (once I get a list of which companies dumped him). Don't think I will? My grandfather got screwed out of his retirement pension by Sears, back in the 50's. Our family has boycotted their store for years. I relented for a time and bought a Craftsman drill 15 years ago. Then, I recently found out that they did this same thing to many other people in recent years. No more. THIS Tollerton will not shop at Sears again. I walk through their store to get to the rest of the mall, and I spit on the floor going in and coming out. Don't believe me? Come with me to Colonie Center someday and I'll be happy to do it for you.

OKAY LEN, STRESS IT DOWN A LITTLE
I've heard alot of people say that, "the things i do or say don't really have an impact on how the rest of the world turns. Oh no? I beg to differ. I think that even small actions or attitudes make an impact greater than you may think.

Check it out. Let's say I go to a restaurant and order a steak, cooked medium. Let's say the waiter brings it out and it's terribly overcooked. If the waiter says, "Jeez, I'm sorry, you're right, let me go get you another steak." You end up being appreciative and you go to the restaurant again. If the waiter says, "That's medium, sir, maybe next time you could ask for it Rare." Now, I get an attitude, call for the manager, complain about the steak, the waiter's glib response, and vow never to return to the restaurant again. I further tell anyone who'll listen what a shitty reataurant that is and warn people not to go there.

What if I'm having a crappy day and as I'm walking through a store or mall, someone bumps me, knocking a package out of my hand and just says, "Watch It." I get home and start yelling as soon as I come through the door, complaining about everything that's not right, thus affecting my family and everything they've got going on. Perhaps I blow off some good news from one of my kids and make him feel neglected or sad. If the person who bumped me were to have stopped, apologized and helped me pick up my things, making sure I was alright, when I get home, I say, "Wow I had a bad day, but I'm so happy to be home with you all. How was your day? Let's have a nice dinner."

You see? Just a small change in words or actions can have a ripple effect down the road that you couldn't even see or notice. Over the last 5 years, around Christmas time, I've gone out of my way (almost to a fault) to let people cut in front of me in traffic, or in a Cashier line, or to grab a parking spot. I figure I'm healthy enough to walk from a farther spot. I figure that the other person is in a major hurry or in a major need to get the last GI Joe with the Kung-Fu grip for little Egbert and maybe they need a break. Maybe by doing this, they'll go and have a nicer holiday and maybe they'll have a little more compassion or courtesy in their next encounter. Maybe by allowing them to get where they need, faster, they'll get to a necessary appointment on time and their world will be right, thus letting them give someone else a break. I know, I know, I'm assuming other people even think remotely like me. I'm jaded, I'm sure. But you know what? It's taken my stress level way down around the holidays. I end up smiling to alot more people and I feel better, instead of hateful.

SO, I HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR YOU!!! Try smiling at the next 10 or 20 people that you walk past. Just a smile. Or maybe a Hello. Something friendly. Maybe a small unseen gesture like rolling your neighbor's garbage can up to their house so they don't have to do it at the end of the day. Or maybe show some genuine concern when you see someone is feeling down. You might unwittingly bring a person out of a depression because they think that no one cares.

Hey, the dirt nap we take at the end is forever. And the world is going to go right on living and moving, whether you're here or not. 100 years down the road 99% of us will be forgotten to the point of the only record of your existence will be your birth and death records. Really, how many of you remember the neighbor of your parents who died when you were 3 years old? Not many. What I mean is, we're here for a short time, then we're gone forever. and unless you were a public figure, celebrity of sports or some other field, a serial killer or war criminal, chance are you'll be forgotten 20 years after you're gone. It's not the major imapct you make all the time. It's the little gesture that you might do, or the word of encouragement you may give that launches someone to do something great, or treat their family with love instead of anger. Think about it.

Take the LEN IS RIGHT CHALLENGE. Smile at the next 10 or 20 people you pass by. You'll probably never know what the effect is down the road. But I bet someone will get a positive feeling over it. The world will be a better place. Stress it down, my friends

You know that LEN IS RIGHT.
I love you, my Minions.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Friday, January 09, 2009

OH, HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED

Minions:
Just another short post to tell you about a groundshaking thing I saw today.

While at Planet Fitness today, I ran into Jess Koehler, daughter of longtime friend Kevin the Roller. Nothing strange about that. But lo, what did my eyes see Ms. Koehler wearing???

None other than a NY METS T-SHIRT!!!! With a number 5 on the back, for David Wright.

Let me explain. Jess and her mom Barb have been my arch-nemeses these past 10 years as baseball fans. As you know, I bleed the Blue and Orange of the Mets. These two ladies were hard-core Chipper "Make me puuuuuuuuke" Jones/Marcus Giles and their team the retched, hated, wish they all got ahtlete's foot Atlanta Braves. I mean, I HATE the Braves. And the Koehler women always hammered me with the successive Division Championships, while the Mets were awful. It was even better for them when the Braves beat the Mets in the playoffs.

Then, Marcus Giles left the Braves to start playing on the Padres. Jess started rooting for the Padres because of Giles. Jones, the piece of garbage, stayed with the Braves. Now Giles has signed with the HATED Phillies. Of course you know this means war.

But I get away from my point. The fact that anyone from the Koehler household is wearing a NY METS shirt is like fans of Derek Jeter walking around with Red Sox caps on. Can you dig that? Gotta give this an honest 6.2 on the Richter Scale.

I win.
LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

1ST WEEK BOWLING RESULTS

Hey all:
Here are my scores from last night's bowling. Please remember that this is a 9-pin No-Tap format. This means if you get 9 pins on your first ball, it counts as a strike.

239, 250, 249. That equals 738 for my triple. In truth I probably would have averaged around 180, cause I'm good at converting my spares, especially 1-pin spares.

It turns out that there are only a few "serious" bowlers in the league. I would ut most of the people around a 140 average, if that. It was fun. First pitcher was on the house, there were 50/50 drawings throught the house, and our league gets 5 prize giveaways each week (pint glasses, free food at the snack bar, free games of open bowling and free Quick Draw plays. Very casual and just fun. A great format for couples who just want to have a good time and not worry about their scores, cause nothing's sanctioned.

All of the team names are beer names. My team is Heineken.

We still have spots open for 5 bowlers. So, if you're in the area and looking for something fun to do on Thursday nights, come and join the league.

Okay, it's 8:00 a.m. on Friday. Gotta get to the gym by 9:00. Talk with you soon, my minions. LEN IS RIGHT, let's not forget.

I am,
Len Tollerton

Thursday, January 08, 2009

LEN STARTS BOWLING

Hello my friends:

Happy New Year and all that. I hope everyone is well and over the holidays. Wow, it can be stressfull, if for no other reason than the traffic. But I digress.



Hey, tonight I start in a bowling league at 9:00, at Sunset Lanes, where my kids bowl. I haven't been in a bowling league for, well, since high school. The normal bowling season is 33 weeks, from September to , like, April or May. For me, that's too damn long. So, I'm joining this 14-week league which starts tonight. It is a 9-pin No-Tap format, which means if you get 9 pins on the first ball, they count it as a strike. I know, sounds kind of queer. But it's just for fun and gets my feet wet for bowling more next year.



There are still spots left in this mixed league if anyone around here wants to join. The lanes buy the first pitcher of beer for each team. It's ony $11/week. From what I'm told there is quite an interesting crowd that bowls in this league. That info comes from the Lovely Wiccan, who bowls with or knows some of these people. I don't know if they're criminals, drunks, or just crazy people. I'm looking forward to observing this group of humanity. Hopefully there are not many of them who'd start a charcoal grill inside their houses. Stupid people are tough to deal with because they don't KNOW they're stupid, but feel a need to flaunt said trait at every opportunity.



No, really, I'm psyched to be bowling. Something to do since I can't play golf right now.



LEN IS THE CURSE OF NEW TV SHOWS

It's true, or sure seems to be. In the last year, I've started watching Journeyman, New Amsterdam, My Own Worst Enemy, Dirty Sexy Money, Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone, Chuck, and Life On Mars. Only Chuck , Eli Stone and Life On Mars are still on any schedule. I think I may be the Kiss Of Death. Hey, is there a TV show out there that you really hate? Send me $10 and I'll be happy to start DVR-ing it and surer-than-shit it'll be cancelled. They talk about Focus Groups when deciding on new shows and audience reaction. They could use me as THE MUSH. The Mush is a guy who a bookie friend of mine used to know that would bring bad luck to anyone he was around. He's like a Cooler in Las Vegas. The casinos have people who they know are bad luck and they bring them to the tables to "Cool Off" a player who is on a roll and winning lots of money. I'm totally serious. I am THE MUSH for the TV industry. I think I could get the networks to pay me big dollarinis to predict what shows will be hits. Just let me watch a few and the ones I really like....shit-can them off of the schedule. Then, just keep on the putrid crap that I don't watch. Making MILLIONS, my friends.



R.I.P. Lydia King, the mother of good friend and card shark Kenny King. Also, R.I.P. to Rita Sansone, mother of close friend Tony Sansone, Jackson's godfather. Both ladies had to deal with throat cancer and Alzheimer's, respectively. My condolences to both families.



My friends, we have made it to the year 2009. I have not had a cigarette for 7 days. Onward.



Stay positive and optimistic and make 2009 a good one for you. I will keep you updated on my bowling scores. I figure I'll probably average around 180.



Let's see if LEN IS RIGHT.



Peace to you all.

I am,

Len Tollerton