Sunday, April 13, 2008

MASTERS WEEKEND

Minions:
How was your weekend? Pretty quiet over here in Colonie. Yours truly stepped out on Friday evening with good friend Tony Sansone for a couple of cocktails at the Fuller Roadhouse and then a couple more at Appletini's.

Friend Sansone stopped with the alcohol early on and switched to Red Bulls. This signaled me that he was planning on being out late. I don't get into caffeine, so no Red Bull, and I've gotta go easy on the drinking because I worry about DWI's. It ended up being an early night for me because I was done. I felt bad, however, cause Tony was hepped up on the Bull. I'm hoping he went out for a couple of more drinks closer to his house on the way home.

You know, I've kind of realized that going out drinking, for me, is a waste of time, unless there's a band I like playing, because I'm not a big drinker. I generally don't engage in talking to any women, because I'm married. I mean, I'll go out and stay out. I guess I just wasn't into it as much as I'd thought I would be. Sorry Tone. Maybe next time, I'll be more into knocking back some drinks.. Only...you'll have to drive for me to do that. I just won't take the risk. I guess I've become old and boring. I should probably live in Amsterdam, Holland. THOSE bars I'd probably stay out all night. I think you get my drift.

THE MASTERS
Okay, I could tell on Saturday that Tiger was not going to win the Green Jacket this year without help from the leaders. Why? When I see Tiger lipping or just missing putts by a c-hair, I know it's not his week. Today, after making this 75-foot putt on the 11th hole for Birdie, I figured Tiger was going to run and steal the tourney, by putting alot of pressure on the eventual winner, Trevor Immelman. But when Tiger missed a short Birdie attempt on 13, I pretty much turned off the TV, knowing I'd only be watching to see if Immelman was going to have a back-nine meltdown. And except for one hole, it didn't happen. So, congrats to him. See ya at the U.S. Open in June.

Alright, let's hear from you people. Anyone feel like responding with column suggestions, comments, hard-to-ask questions? Is anyone besides Tom the Big-Game Hunter and BVA in FLA, and good friend Mary Burgess reading or responding? C'mon people, I need ya. You know I love ya. Get back to me.

I am,
Len Tollerton

Saturday, April 05, 2008

HARLEY'S BIG DAY AND THE RETURN OF MLB

Minions of mine:
Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I have substituted going to the gym for time spent blogging. Rest assured, I will try to balance things more effectively. Lately I have been without anything funny to blog about and I am not sure that you want to read me bitching about stuff every day. And believe me, I can complain about stuff till the cows come home. That gets old after awhile. Jeez, if I only did that, you people would label me a curmudgeon. I can't have that....I WON'T have that.

HARLEY'S BIG DAY
Yesterday (4/4) we finally got around to having our dog, Harley's, rear, left cruciate ligament and knee repaired. We ended up going for the "Gold-Standard" operation for a couple of reasons. The main reason was his age (3 1/2). We wanted to make sure that his knee would be stable throughout his life. He runs around like a maniac and the lesser, more commonly used surgery didn't seem like the best option in the long-run. This to the tune of $3160. Hey it's only money, right?

So, the surgery went very well. This morning, we went to Pattersonville (about 1/2 hour away from Colonie) to pick the pooch up. Poor dog. They've got him in one of those Elizabethan collars (like an inverted funnel) to keep him from licking and chewing on the incision. His knee has about 15 staples in it, which get removed in 2 weeks. Till then we have to keep him on a leash whenever we take him outside. He has to keep the collar on unless we're sitting right there with him. He can't be allowed upstairs or up onto the furniture cause he could, I guess, tear out the screws. So, the next two weeks, till he gets his staples out, are going to be a pain-in-the-neck. After that, we won't have to be as protective. The surgeon told us that because of the slope in the top of a dog's femur (large leg bone) is too angled, that there's a 50% chance that he could blow the other knee out, one day. I told him that the lesser procedure would have to be used at that point, because I'm only going to the well once. Spending $6000, let alone $3000 on a dog is LUDICROUS. Not gonna happen. The $1500 procedure will have to suffice. Hopefully, it won't be an issue. The dog should be 50% recovered in 2 weeks, 75% in 8 weeks and fully healed in about 16 weeks. We'll see.

BASEBALL IS BACK
April is here, my friends, and that means the return of America's pasttime. Hopefully, my beloved NY METS will make it to the World Series this year. I have become extremely tired of the Mets looking like they're the best and then continually disappointing me. Of course......I could be a Yankees fan. But that's another discussion.

Baseball means that Spring is really here and Winter is finally leaving. The color green will now take over, leaving the grey to sleep until November. When things are green, I feel the most alive. The planet is vibrant and I can live in shorts and tees instead of jeans and flannels and coats. Welcome back, indeed.

THE GYM
The staff here at Len Is Right (me) have now been to the gym 12 times in 3 weeks. I go on Mon days, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I do 1/2 hour on the Elliptical machine, then I hit the weight machines and the crunch bench. I really only intend on doing 45 minutes-1 hour, but end up being there 1 1/2 hours. Getting healthy takes time. But I feel really good and hopefully by the end of 2008, I will have dropped between 30 and 50 pounds. That's my goal. However, it would probably do me well to cut down on eating copious amounts of food. I have cut down, but I'm not going to go on any big diet. I think what will work for me will be to stay active in the gym. So, now it's got to become a way of life for me. My friends Kevin The Roller and Tony, Jack's godfather have been big into working out for YEARS. Kevin is in his 50's and has been working out for 30 years. Tony's nephew is a competitive body-builder, so he's been working out for years and is now an absolute nut about it. I think he can squat about 575 lbs. Freakin' freak of nature.

Last week my older son, Connor, rolled a 196, 212, and 150 in a Pepsi-sponsored bowling tournament. The 558 triple was his highest series ever, as well as his 212 game. His average is 145. He was very happy with his accomplishment. I think when we get him a new bowling ball and change his grip to full-fingertip, he will start averaging in the 170's. He's got a very consistant shot. The 212 was Con's 3rd 200 game of the year and his 2nd 500 series. While it's true that there are a bunch of kids his age who are better, I think his confidence is rising and he may be able to make the high school team in a couple of years, if he sticks with it. Now if I could get him to get over being a clueless dolt most days, we'll really be doing something.

Jackson, my 11-year old, averages about 130 and also had 2-200 games this year. He also won the trophy for high triple (552) in his age division. He is not nearly as consistent as his brother but throws a devastating ball sometimes, so the potential is definitely there. He'll be getting a heavier ball next year, and will be moving up to Connor's division, so I expect him to get his average at or above 150. It's one of the few things they get along doing together.

THE SHRINK
I've now met with my shrink about 8 times. I think we've both begun to realize that I'm pretty much done with his help. I'm mentally healthy as I've always been. I just needed to sort some things out and stop beating myself up over the things I've done in my life and start giving myself some credit. What happened in the past is the past. I can atone for my shortcomings to a point. but I've also got to realize that I'm better than I give myself credit for.

Of course, you all already knew that, didn't you? Ohterwise, you wouldn't be my minions. You are my minions because you are smart and because you know that LEN IS RIGHT.

Be at Peace.
I am,
Len Tollerton