Hiya folks:
This past Monday was Dance Lesson #3. After reviewing what we've learned with the Waltz and the Swing, we learned a new step...The Fox Trot.....oh boy!!
Actually it wasn't too bad. We (the Tollerton couple)still are most comfortable dancing with each other. The Fox Trot has the man (leader) taking 2 slow steps forward and then a step to the left and then close the feet to get back to your original position. Unlike the Waltz and Swing, where you can pretty much stay in a "box" the whole time, the Fox Trot lets you roam all over the dance floor. It is done in 4/4 time as opposed to 3/4 for the Waltz. Next Monday is our final lesson, unless we decide to continue. I'm not sure how the other person (my nameless dance partner) feels about continuing. I would do it if she really wanted to, but I don't get that impression.
If you've ever wanted to try it, I suggest getting off the wall and going for it. You only feel like a spaz for a short time. After a while, just like everything else, it becomes easier.
UNION NEWS
Len Tollerton is now the Shop Steward for Sheetmetal Workers Local 398. I accepted the position, basically, because no one else wanted to do it. My union has become very small and somewhat powerless over the years. You see, the railroad would like to eliminate Sheetmetal Workers (pipefitters) and have the other crafts just take over our work. As a matter of fact, the railroad would just as soon have only one Union, with everyone able to do all jobs. This might work if they were willing to give training to everyone, so we could all do each other's work. Without training, there's just no way. I mean, would you feel safe doing electrical work, dealing with 480V of power, w/o the necesary training? Well, that's what my railroad would like us to do.
Anyway, I'm really just responsible for writing up time-claims (claims for pay if another craft does my Union's work), defending my union members in discipline hearings, and trying to make sure open jobs are covered with Overtime. They say some people are born to greatness and others have it thrust upon them.. I fall into the 2nd category. I think my Union brothers AND local management wanted me to take this position because I don't flip out as quickly as my predecessors. I don't freakin' know. Hopefully, I'll do a respectable job.
NCAA HOOP TOURNEY
Who gives a flyin' shit??!! No, I'm kidding. I know there are alot of you out there who have been hard at work filling out your bracket sheets, hoping to find the Sleeper, like last year's George Mason University, who will surprise alot of people and go deep into the tourney. My pick for tourney greatness this year? A #4 Seed is my pick. That would be the Pitt Panthers. From what I've heard, they are the hot team right now, physical, and playing with confidence. Just remember, when filling out your sheets, that at least 2 #1 seeds will probably make it to the Final Four. Good Luck.
I went back to the gym and started working out again. Looking to lose, like, 40-50 pounds. I think I can do it just through exercise and portion control. Hopefully, I'll lose a significant amount over then next year. Oh, but how my body hurts. Too much idle time. The initial aches and pains are the only bitch I have with working out. I get no pleasure from being in the gym. But it's my best bet. Good luck to me, right?
Thanks for visiting LEN IS RIGHT. I hope to be back soon with something interesting, and not just this day-by-day tripe. I've got to find a new issue with which I can rant like an animal and make you all remember why I am like a god among men. I know you ladies out there will always feel that way about me, but Ii need to get some cred with the fellas. Peace, I'm out!
I am,
Len Tollerton
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
1776, JOHN ADAMS, AND NEW AMSTERDAM
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!
I hope everyone had a great weekend with absolutely no DWI problems. Did anyone go to their local St. Patrick's Day parade? We missed the one in Albany on Saturday. I think it's because I didn't want to bring the kids to some Irish bar and have a few drinks and then have to drive home.
1776
Last weekend, I took the family to see 1776 at the New York State Theater Institute in Troy. This has been our (me and She Who Wishes Not To Be Mentioned By Name) favorite musical for years. We both first saw it when we were in 7th Grade. Our Jr. High School sent all the classes over to the High School to watch the movie. Really great show, great songs, and fairly accurate. If you ever get the chance to rent the movie or see a live production of the show, I think you'll enjoy it. Which leads me to last night....
JOHN ADAMS ON HBO
Last night HBO started running their mini-series of John Adams, adapted from the recent biography that was in the bookstores. It stars Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney as John and Abigail Adams, and although a tad slow, I really enjoyed the first 2 parts. The Revolutionary War is my favorite section of history and this mini-series paints, I believe, an unflinching, uncompromising picture of what life was like in the late 18th century. It is amazing to me what our Founding Fathers accomplished when trying to break free of England's rule. The scenes of people fighting small-pox is enough to know how difficult times were back then.
It got us to thinking about how lucky we are in today's world, in America, with our shopping malls and iPods, our coffee shops on every corner, our ability to get clothing and food and any other form of good, service, or entertainment we can think of, whenever we want it, especially here in the USA. We are truly lucky. Many of these things may not have been possible without the sacrifices that were made in the 1770's by people who were willing to put their heads in the hangman's noose because of what they believed in. Men like Adams, Franklin, Jefferson, and George Washington truly were heroes greater than any sports star we could ever hope to admire. To think about what it would take, in today's society, to do the things they did, boggles my mind. I don't think anyone today has that kind of staying power to see through their plans to make a better world. Today if that kind of stuff was tried, some secret government agency would kill the people and their families.
I have a T-shirt with a quote made by Benjamin Franklin in the 1770's. It reads," Those that are willing to sacrifice essential liberties in order to obtain temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Read that quote again and think about if it applies to today's world. Think about what it's like going to the airport and what you have to go through to get on a plane. Or, think about what the Bush administration wanted to do in regards to monitoring emails and phone calls in order to "protect" us from terrorists. We have turned our country into a State of Paranoia in order to make sure NOTHING can happen to us. And we, as a Nation, let the goverment do what they wanted. Obviously, these are just 2 examples of what I mean. But think about it....have we given up essential liberties we enjoyed, just to obtain a little temporary safety? Now, because of that, we lose out on many of our freedoms because of paranoia. When it comes to terrorists, you just can't stop them all can you?
What color does Homeland Securtiy have us under today? Orange, green, pink? (Pink is to protect us from Gay terrorists who want to color-coordinate our neighborhoods.....FABULOUS!!)
I rant on, but what I'm saying is, just once in a while, try to remember how lucky you all are to live in this country. Remember that while you're playing golf 3 times a week, while you're gossiping about the neighbors, while you're enjoying the 4th set of repeats of Rachael Ray on the Food Network, that there are thousands of troops all over the world trying to protect our way of life. Remember that there was a group of citizens who fought and died, or lost their families, homes and all they owned, just to make for us a new Nation. I doubt anyone in the USA would be willing to lay it all out there for the same kind of cause today. The best chance we have to conduct a revolution nowdays is to go to the voting booths and exercise your right to vote. And not just every 4 years for the Presidential election, but every year. We have a chance every year to voice our opinion. We may not always be heard, but enough people speaking usually gets someone's attention. Have the guts to throw people out of office. It's your right. Don't let down your Forefathers.
NEW AMSTERDAM
A new TV show started on FOX about 3 weeks ago, called New Amsterdam. It's a show about a guy who is a detective in present day America. The guy was born in 1642 and has been alive ever since. He saved a Native American back in the day, from a brutal attack. The woman laid a spell on him that would allow him to NOT age (past 35), or die until he finds his "One True Love." In the ensuing years, he has had many families (wives and kids), and has had to watch them all die from old age, all while he never aged or died. In the show there is an older (65 yrs. old) man who he hangs out with, who turned out to be his son. In any event, he solves crimes now, using his past experiences (in flashbacks) to help him with cases, all while still searching for "The One." I think it's a pretty cool show. Check it out if you get the chance.
LEN IS RIGHT about all of these things written today. Take it to the bank. I will be back this week with more. We have to discuss several things. Among them, the NCAA hoop tourney and some recent movies I've seen. Until then, be well. By the way, Jackson rolled a 203-519 this week at bowling. Dance Lesson #3 starts in 2 1/2 hours. See ya.
I am,
Len Tollerton
I hope everyone had a great weekend with absolutely no DWI problems. Did anyone go to their local St. Patrick's Day parade? We missed the one in Albany on Saturday. I think it's because I didn't want to bring the kids to some Irish bar and have a few drinks and then have to drive home.
1776
Last weekend, I took the family to see 1776 at the New York State Theater Institute in Troy. This has been our (me and She Who Wishes Not To Be Mentioned By Name) favorite musical for years. We both first saw it when we were in 7th Grade. Our Jr. High School sent all the classes over to the High School to watch the movie. Really great show, great songs, and fairly accurate. If you ever get the chance to rent the movie or see a live production of the show, I think you'll enjoy it. Which leads me to last night....
JOHN ADAMS ON HBO
Last night HBO started running their mini-series of John Adams, adapted from the recent biography that was in the bookstores. It stars Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney as John and Abigail Adams, and although a tad slow, I really enjoyed the first 2 parts. The Revolutionary War is my favorite section of history and this mini-series paints, I believe, an unflinching, uncompromising picture of what life was like in the late 18th century. It is amazing to me what our Founding Fathers accomplished when trying to break free of England's rule. The scenes of people fighting small-pox is enough to know how difficult times were back then.
It got us to thinking about how lucky we are in today's world, in America, with our shopping malls and iPods, our coffee shops on every corner, our ability to get clothing and food and any other form of good, service, or entertainment we can think of, whenever we want it, especially here in the USA. We are truly lucky. Many of these things may not have been possible without the sacrifices that were made in the 1770's by people who were willing to put their heads in the hangman's noose because of what they believed in. Men like Adams, Franklin, Jefferson, and George Washington truly were heroes greater than any sports star we could ever hope to admire. To think about what it would take, in today's society, to do the things they did, boggles my mind. I don't think anyone today has that kind of staying power to see through their plans to make a better world. Today if that kind of stuff was tried, some secret government agency would kill the people and their families.
I have a T-shirt with a quote made by Benjamin Franklin in the 1770's. It reads," Those that are willing to sacrifice essential liberties in order to obtain temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Read that quote again and think about if it applies to today's world. Think about what it's like going to the airport and what you have to go through to get on a plane. Or, think about what the Bush administration wanted to do in regards to monitoring emails and phone calls in order to "protect" us from terrorists. We have turned our country into a State of Paranoia in order to make sure NOTHING can happen to us. And we, as a Nation, let the goverment do what they wanted. Obviously, these are just 2 examples of what I mean. But think about it....have we given up essential liberties we enjoyed, just to obtain a little temporary safety? Now, because of that, we lose out on many of our freedoms because of paranoia. When it comes to terrorists, you just can't stop them all can you?
What color does Homeland Securtiy have us under today? Orange, green, pink? (Pink is to protect us from Gay terrorists who want to color-coordinate our neighborhoods.....FABULOUS!!)
I rant on, but what I'm saying is, just once in a while, try to remember how lucky you all are to live in this country. Remember that while you're playing golf 3 times a week, while you're gossiping about the neighbors, while you're enjoying the 4th set of repeats of Rachael Ray on the Food Network, that there are thousands of troops all over the world trying to protect our way of life. Remember that there was a group of citizens who fought and died, or lost their families, homes and all they owned, just to make for us a new Nation. I doubt anyone in the USA would be willing to lay it all out there for the same kind of cause today. The best chance we have to conduct a revolution nowdays is to go to the voting booths and exercise your right to vote. And not just every 4 years for the Presidential election, but every year. We have a chance every year to voice our opinion. We may not always be heard, but enough people speaking usually gets someone's attention. Have the guts to throw people out of office. It's your right. Don't let down your Forefathers.
NEW AMSTERDAM
A new TV show started on FOX about 3 weeks ago, called New Amsterdam. It's a show about a guy who is a detective in present day America. The guy was born in 1642 and has been alive ever since. He saved a Native American back in the day, from a brutal attack. The woman laid a spell on him that would allow him to NOT age (past 35), or die until he finds his "One True Love." In the ensuing years, he has had many families (wives and kids), and has had to watch them all die from old age, all while he never aged or died. In the show there is an older (65 yrs. old) man who he hangs out with, who turned out to be his son. In any event, he solves crimes now, using his past experiences (in flashbacks) to help him with cases, all while still searching for "The One." I think it's a pretty cool show. Check it out if you get the chance.
LEN IS RIGHT about all of these things written today. Take it to the bank. I will be back this week with more. We have to discuss several things. Among them, the NCAA hoop tourney and some recent movies I've seen. Until then, be well. By the way, Jackson rolled a 203-519 this week at bowling. Dance Lesson #3 starts in 2 1/2 hours. See ya.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
GOVERNOR SPITZER AND DANCE LESSON #2
Minions:
All I can say is, "DUUUUUDE!!!! WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?!" I mean, you've got this feud going with Senator Bruno and you let your guard (and your pants) down for a blowjob in Washington? C'Mon. What a disappointment.
How does a guy, who was the State's top watchdog, going after all the corporate bad guys in NY City, the Golden Boy of the Law industry in New York, gets elected Governor, tries to take on what he sees as corruption in State govt., make this huge an error in judgement?
When you do dirty shit, someone is eventually going to find out. If one other person knows, then you ALWAYS have to look over your shoulder and watch your back. You CANNOT let your guard down and engage in stupid activities. And for goodness sake, please use an assumed name when you join the high-priced hooker club (Emperor's Club VIP), will ya? Oh, and by the way, $5500 per hour for a hooker is way too steep. I think Mr. Spitzer's former Office (The Attorney General) should look into price gouging in the prostitution industry. Criminy sakes, $5500 for 1 HOUR? Sorry ladies, but no pussy is THAT good. On the other hand, $10,000 per hour isn't enough when you see some of the men who are paying for this service. I mean, I work with a guy who showers on the average of once every week or two, and if I was a woman (hooker), there wouldn't be enough money for me to sleep with that filthy MOFO, so I guess if you can get it, more power to you, but holy shit!!
Resign, Mr. Spitzer. You have gone over the top in disappointing the people of your state. I was willing to give President Clinton a pass on his indiscretions. He was the leader of the free world. All you are is a state Governor. You dumb ass, you used your real name to join the club? What? Were you high on crack at the time? Are we going to find this out later on? "Governor Spitzer was smoking crack the night he gave his name to a $5500/hour hooker." It's time to go, sir. All of the work you did as Attorney General and tried to do as Governor are now in the proverbial toilet. Nice going. May I please advise that you come to terms with the letters C-Y-A? That stands for Cover Your Ass. You didn't. Good luck with the rest of your political aspirations.
Ahhhh, no worries. Resign. Write a book or two. Go on Oprah. Hit the banquet circuit, like Bill Clinton. Hey, you'll make millions. Your future is secure. You might even get a movie deal for your story. Of course the ending will take only a couple of minutes of film time, cause your ass flamed out QUICK!!
DANCE LESSON #2
Last night, Patty and I had our second dance lesson. I enjoyed it more this time, cause I got the Swing step down a little better. And ladies, I am one waltzing MOFO, now. I can box-step and spin the girl like a champ. If you hear a waltz being played at a wedding, you better come and get me for a dance.
Patty is still not comfortable dancing with the other men in the class. I think she'd rather have private lessons. We'll probably look into that at a later time (like after the dog gets paid off). We dance well together and I think she's ultimately comfortable with me as her partner (I freakin' hope so).
I did get reprimanded, AGAIN, by Elinor the Dance Nazi (one of the veterans who helps out the teacher) for a couple of procedure infractions. "Elbow up. Place my hand on your shoulder when switching from Open position to Closed while doing the Swing. Remember the change in step." Hey Elinor, how 'bout kissing my ass. I'm trying not to step on your foot and keep in time, ya flamenco-dressed bitch, give me a break. Your patience-tested smile does not fool me. Get a date will ya?
Anyway, it's been fun so far. Patty says I dragged her to this class. Not so. I got these lessons for her and US. Do I look like Fred Astaire? Do I look like Adele Astaire? I look more like a set of stairs going down into the basement. Hey Hon, bear with me. We'll end up appreciating this experience down the road. We'll either be good dancers who actually have fun at weddings, or we'll get some big laughs out of this. Patty's other dance partners end up staring at her chest, which doesn't sit well with her. Of course, she understands.
Hey folks, have a great day. I hope to be back to you soon with another timely post.
To (soon to be) Mr. Citizen Spitzer, may I be so bold as to recommend becoming a member of LEN IS RIGHT? If you had been a MINION all along, you'd never have gotten into this mess. And the Bruno thing would never have gotten started. Live and learn.
I am,
Len Tollerton
All I can say is, "DUUUUUDE!!!! WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?!" I mean, you've got this feud going with Senator Bruno and you let your guard (and your pants) down for a blowjob in Washington? C'Mon. What a disappointment.
How does a guy, who was the State's top watchdog, going after all the corporate bad guys in NY City, the Golden Boy of the Law industry in New York, gets elected Governor, tries to take on what he sees as corruption in State govt., make this huge an error in judgement?
When you do dirty shit, someone is eventually going to find out. If one other person knows, then you ALWAYS have to look over your shoulder and watch your back. You CANNOT let your guard down and engage in stupid activities. And for goodness sake, please use an assumed name when you join the high-priced hooker club (Emperor's Club VIP), will ya? Oh, and by the way, $5500 per hour for a hooker is way too steep. I think Mr. Spitzer's former Office (The Attorney General) should look into price gouging in the prostitution industry. Criminy sakes, $5500 for 1 HOUR? Sorry ladies, but no pussy is THAT good. On the other hand, $10,000 per hour isn't enough when you see some of the men who are paying for this service. I mean, I work with a guy who showers on the average of once every week or two, and if I was a woman (hooker), there wouldn't be enough money for me to sleep with that filthy MOFO, so I guess if you can get it, more power to you, but holy shit!!
Resign, Mr. Spitzer. You have gone over the top in disappointing the people of your state. I was willing to give President Clinton a pass on his indiscretions. He was the leader of the free world. All you are is a state Governor. You dumb ass, you used your real name to join the club? What? Were you high on crack at the time? Are we going to find this out later on? "Governor Spitzer was smoking crack the night he gave his name to a $5500/hour hooker." It's time to go, sir. All of the work you did as Attorney General and tried to do as Governor are now in the proverbial toilet. Nice going. May I please advise that you come to terms with the letters C-Y-A? That stands for Cover Your Ass. You didn't. Good luck with the rest of your political aspirations.
Ahhhh, no worries. Resign. Write a book or two. Go on Oprah. Hit the banquet circuit, like Bill Clinton. Hey, you'll make millions. Your future is secure. You might even get a movie deal for your story. Of course the ending will take only a couple of minutes of film time, cause your ass flamed out QUICK!!
DANCE LESSON #2
Last night, Patty and I had our second dance lesson. I enjoyed it more this time, cause I got the Swing step down a little better. And ladies, I am one waltzing MOFO, now. I can box-step and spin the girl like a champ. If you hear a waltz being played at a wedding, you better come and get me for a dance.
Patty is still not comfortable dancing with the other men in the class. I think she'd rather have private lessons. We'll probably look into that at a later time (like after the dog gets paid off). We dance well together and I think she's ultimately comfortable with me as her partner (I freakin' hope so).
I did get reprimanded, AGAIN, by Elinor the Dance Nazi (one of the veterans who helps out the teacher) for a couple of procedure infractions. "Elbow up. Place my hand on your shoulder when switching from Open position to Closed while doing the Swing. Remember the change in step." Hey Elinor, how 'bout kissing my ass. I'm trying not to step on your foot and keep in time, ya flamenco-dressed bitch, give me a break. Your patience-tested smile does not fool me. Get a date will ya?
Anyway, it's been fun so far. Patty says I dragged her to this class. Not so. I got these lessons for her and US. Do I look like Fred Astaire? Do I look like Adele Astaire? I look more like a set of stairs going down into the basement. Hey Hon, bear with me. We'll end up appreciating this experience down the road. We'll either be good dancers who actually have fun at weddings, or we'll get some big laughs out of this. Patty's other dance partners end up staring at her chest, which doesn't sit well with her. Of course, she understands.
Hey folks, have a great day. I hope to be back to you soon with another timely post.
To (soon to be) Mr. Citizen Spitzer, may I be so bold as to recommend becoming a member of LEN IS RIGHT? If you had been a MINION all along, you'd never have gotten into this mess. And the Bruno thing would never have gotten started. Live and learn.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
THE DANCE LESSON AND OUR POOR INJURED DOG
Good morning Minions:
I trust everyone had a decent weekend. Not too bad here on Stover Place. Everything seems to be proceeding accordingly.
Last night Patty and I went to our first Ballroom dance lesson. This was held at Lorraine Michaels Dance Studio, which is right around the corner from us. Our friend, JenCame has been taking dance lessons for a year or so now, and I thought it was something Patty might like to try. She watches Dancing With The Stars, occasionally, and I thought it was something we could do together for fun. Now, I don't mind dancing. I'll do it at weddings, and I'll dance if we're out to a club. But it's just your typical move here, move there, slow dance-fast dance, white-guy stuff. I figured that we could learn some steps and once in a while actually look like we know what we're doing.
It's funny, when you start doing a new activity, or get into something new, you find out that the new world you're going into is an entire sub-culture of people that you never knew existed. For instance, there's a whole sub-culture of bowling people. People who bowl alot (more than once a week), hang out at the bowling alley, drink at the bowling establishment's tavern, and do alot of bowling-related activities. Well, it's the same with dancing. There are alot of folks who take dance lessons, learn Ballroom, Latin, Country-Line, etc... and then hang around to help the teachers by dancing with people in the group. They go to dance parties, have dinner-dances, and talk dance, etc... Some are happy to see you, even though you're a beginner, welcoming you into the "fold" and helping you out with tips, etc...There are also the elitists who have "dancing egos." I guess this is true for any of humanity's sub-cultures (poker players, hob-nobbers, soccer families, you get the idea).
There were 8 couples in our beginner class, though not all were beginners. We started out with the Waltz or Box-Step. This dance is done in 3/4 time, which means 3 beats per measure with the 1/4 note getting one full beat. So, this is as about as easy as it gets. Unfortunately, the instructor used some Country music for us to dance with. Definitely NOT my favorite, but I guess there's not alot of chance you're going to be able to Waltz to Iron Maiden. I did pretty good with that step. Every few minutes, we had to rotate partners, so I got to dance with most of the women. A couple of them actually told me I dance very smoothly, although there was a veteran who was in the class to help out and she kept telling me to get my elbow up and make sure my right hand was just under her shoulder blade ( I had repeatedly placed it on her breast and it was throwing her off.....kidding). Patty felt very self-conscious and wasn't comfortable dancing with other partners. We did well w/each other.
Things were going well until we started learning the Swing Step. This has a slow-slow-quick-quick beat that you have to rock back with your feet (take a step back onto the ball of your foot and then step up and down with the other foot) and then slide to the side. All confidence I was having with the Waltz went out the window with the Swing. I kept getting out of rhythm and had to keep starting over. All of my partners were very patient with me. One of the veterans was nice enough to count out the beat aloud, so I could stay in step. This one is going to take a while for me to get comfortable with. Hopefully, I'm not too white to get this. Old dog/New tricks, ya know?
So, one of these days, if you ladies out there see me at a wedding, come ask me to dance and maybe I'll be able to whirl you around the floor. Of course, I may whirl you out the door and fall on top of you after stepping on your foot, too, so don't rush. We carry on, or in the words of the immortal Chief Dan George, we "Endeavor to Persevere."
THE POOR DOG
Two Fridays ago, while out shovelling after a snow storm, I was clowning with our dog, Harley, who gets very excited in the snow. So, he's tearing around the yard and all of a sudden I hear him yelping his head off. Now he's limping all over the place, and can't put his left foot down. I'm hoping it's just a broken toe-nail or something innocuous. But as a day or two go by, it's apparent this is serious. Last Monday I took him to the vet's and got the bad news. A blown Cranial Cruciate Ligament in his left knee. Hey, wait a minute!! It's not like he was playing football. Now, good friend Roy, the G.B. King's dog blew 2 ACL's in her knee (one in each knee a year apart), and it cost him some serious coin.
So the vet comes in, examines the dog, and starts to discuss options. Procedure A, which has been done for the past 8 years and is recommended will cost around $3000. Yep, you read that number right. $3000 to fix a fuckin' dog's knee. Are you kidding me? 3 Grand? Dude, I don't have health insurance for my dog. This is bull shit. Procedure B, which has been done for the last 20 years will run anywhere form $1500-1750. Jesus Christ, if I wanted to buy a used car, I would have gone to a car dealership. SONOFABITCH!!!
Procedure B is not quite as good as Procedure A, and can break if the dog gets particularly aggressive with his running, thus blowing apart permanent sutures around the knee joint. Great! Just freakin' Great. The dog is only 3 1/2 years old, or we might amputate and call him Tripod.
Now, I'm not necessarilly cheap. Frugal, yes, but not cheap. Now, I've got friends offering me a $3000 loan so we can get Procedure A done. Just so everyone knows, it's not that I can't come up with the money. It's the Principle of the thing. Hey, I know a dog becomes a part of the family, but, shit, it's not like I can put him on our medical insurance. $3000 for a goddamn dog? Crackuh, is you CRAZEEEEE??!! "Oh C'mon Len, have a heart for once. It's the family dog. It's Patty's baby. He's only 3. You can't cheap out on this one." FUCK YOU and the horse you rode in on. $3000 for a freakin' dog? Go smoke some more crack, will ya? FINE!! FINE!! I'll go and spend my entire 40% Back-pay check from our new contract, just so the dog can walk right, okay? Never mind the more pressing matters in our life. Let's get the dog back to snuff. His eating, farting, and generally just laying around the house all day sleeping, does alot for our home. Does anyone else pick up his shit in the yard? No. And what do I get out of this whole thing? Appreciation from the family and my dog-loving friends? Well, yes. But that doesn't stop me from being $3000 poorer. Dipshit Dog.
Of course we're going to go for the gusto!! Of course I'm going to spend the money. All of you out there calling me cheap, I've got 4 words for you. Shut the Fuck Up. $3000 it is. Let's go for it. Okay, I'm done ranting now. Have a nice day. It's the principle, dammit.
BELATED BIRTHDAY WISHES
Hey, I want to wish a belated Happy Birthday to my good friend Kevin "The Roller" Koehler, who turned 54 on March 1st. Kevin is Connor's Godfather and we work together at Amtrak. If you ever sit at a table with Kevin or stand next to him at a party and you're in an extended conversation with him, you'll most likely leave bruised, cause he hits you while talking, occasionally. Our good friend Tony Sansone has left with blunt force trauma more than once after being sat next to Kev at a dinner party. So beware. And Happy Birthday Kev.
Thanks for stopping by LEN IS RIGHT. It's been a pleasure entertaining you for a few minutes. Let's Dance.
I am,
Len Tollerton
I trust everyone had a decent weekend. Not too bad here on Stover Place. Everything seems to be proceeding accordingly.
Last night Patty and I went to our first Ballroom dance lesson. This was held at Lorraine Michaels Dance Studio, which is right around the corner from us. Our friend, JenCame has been taking dance lessons for a year or so now, and I thought it was something Patty might like to try. She watches Dancing With The Stars, occasionally, and I thought it was something we could do together for fun. Now, I don't mind dancing. I'll do it at weddings, and I'll dance if we're out to a club. But it's just your typical move here, move there, slow dance-fast dance, white-guy stuff. I figured that we could learn some steps and once in a while actually look like we know what we're doing.
It's funny, when you start doing a new activity, or get into something new, you find out that the new world you're going into is an entire sub-culture of people that you never knew existed. For instance, there's a whole sub-culture of bowling people. People who bowl alot (more than once a week), hang out at the bowling alley, drink at the bowling establishment's tavern, and do alot of bowling-related activities. Well, it's the same with dancing. There are alot of folks who take dance lessons, learn Ballroom, Latin, Country-Line, etc... and then hang around to help the teachers by dancing with people in the group. They go to dance parties, have dinner-dances, and talk dance, etc... Some are happy to see you, even though you're a beginner, welcoming you into the "fold" and helping you out with tips, etc...There are also the elitists who have "dancing egos." I guess this is true for any of humanity's sub-cultures (poker players, hob-nobbers, soccer families, you get the idea).
There were 8 couples in our beginner class, though not all were beginners. We started out with the Waltz or Box-Step. This dance is done in 3/4 time, which means 3 beats per measure with the 1/4 note getting one full beat. So, this is as about as easy as it gets. Unfortunately, the instructor used some Country music for us to dance with. Definitely NOT my favorite, but I guess there's not alot of chance you're going to be able to Waltz to Iron Maiden. I did pretty good with that step. Every few minutes, we had to rotate partners, so I got to dance with most of the women. A couple of them actually told me I dance very smoothly, although there was a veteran who was in the class to help out and she kept telling me to get my elbow up and make sure my right hand was just under her shoulder blade ( I had repeatedly placed it on her breast and it was throwing her off.....kidding). Patty felt very self-conscious and wasn't comfortable dancing with other partners. We did well w/each other.
Things were going well until we started learning the Swing Step. This has a slow-slow-quick-quick beat that you have to rock back with your feet (take a step back onto the ball of your foot and then step up and down with the other foot) and then slide to the side. All confidence I was having with the Waltz went out the window with the Swing. I kept getting out of rhythm and had to keep starting over. All of my partners were very patient with me. One of the veterans was nice enough to count out the beat aloud, so I could stay in step. This one is going to take a while for me to get comfortable with. Hopefully, I'm not too white to get this. Old dog/New tricks, ya know?
So, one of these days, if you ladies out there see me at a wedding, come ask me to dance and maybe I'll be able to whirl you around the floor. Of course, I may whirl you out the door and fall on top of you after stepping on your foot, too, so don't rush. We carry on, or in the words of the immortal Chief Dan George, we "Endeavor to Persevere."
THE POOR DOG
Two Fridays ago, while out shovelling after a snow storm, I was clowning with our dog, Harley, who gets very excited in the snow. So, he's tearing around the yard and all of a sudden I hear him yelping his head off. Now he's limping all over the place, and can't put his left foot down. I'm hoping it's just a broken toe-nail or something innocuous. But as a day or two go by, it's apparent this is serious. Last Monday I took him to the vet's and got the bad news. A blown Cranial Cruciate Ligament in his left knee. Hey, wait a minute!! It's not like he was playing football. Now, good friend Roy, the G.B. King's dog blew 2 ACL's in her knee (one in each knee a year apart), and it cost him some serious coin.
So the vet comes in, examines the dog, and starts to discuss options. Procedure A, which has been done for the past 8 years and is recommended will cost around $3000. Yep, you read that number right. $3000 to fix a fuckin' dog's knee. Are you kidding me? 3 Grand? Dude, I don't have health insurance for my dog. This is bull shit. Procedure B, which has been done for the last 20 years will run anywhere form $1500-1750. Jesus Christ, if I wanted to buy a used car, I would have gone to a car dealership. SONOFABITCH!!!
Procedure B is not quite as good as Procedure A, and can break if the dog gets particularly aggressive with his running, thus blowing apart permanent sutures around the knee joint. Great! Just freakin' Great. The dog is only 3 1/2 years old, or we might amputate and call him Tripod.
Now, I'm not necessarilly cheap. Frugal, yes, but not cheap. Now, I've got friends offering me a $3000 loan so we can get Procedure A done. Just so everyone knows, it's not that I can't come up with the money. It's the Principle of the thing. Hey, I know a dog becomes a part of the family, but, shit, it's not like I can put him on our medical insurance. $3000 for a goddamn dog? Crackuh, is you CRAZEEEEE??!! "Oh C'mon Len, have a heart for once. It's the family dog. It's Patty's baby. He's only 3. You can't cheap out on this one." FUCK YOU and the horse you rode in on. $3000 for a freakin' dog? Go smoke some more crack, will ya? FINE!! FINE!! I'll go and spend my entire 40% Back-pay check from our new contract, just so the dog can walk right, okay? Never mind the more pressing matters in our life. Let's get the dog back to snuff. His eating, farting, and generally just laying around the house all day sleeping, does alot for our home. Does anyone else pick up his shit in the yard? No. And what do I get out of this whole thing? Appreciation from the family and my dog-loving friends? Well, yes. But that doesn't stop me from being $3000 poorer. Dipshit Dog.
Of course we're going to go for the gusto!! Of course I'm going to spend the money. All of you out there calling me cheap, I've got 4 words for you. Shut the Fuck Up. $3000 it is. Let's go for it. Okay, I'm done ranting now. Have a nice day. It's the principle, dammit.
BELATED BIRTHDAY WISHES
Hey, I want to wish a belated Happy Birthday to my good friend Kevin "The Roller" Koehler, who turned 54 on March 1st. Kevin is Connor's Godfather and we work together at Amtrak. If you ever sit at a table with Kevin or stand next to him at a party and you're in an extended conversation with him, you'll most likely leave bruised, cause he hits you while talking, occasionally. Our good friend Tony Sansone has left with blunt force trauma more than once after being sat next to Kev at a dinner party. So beware. And Happy Birthday Kev.
Thanks for stopping by LEN IS RIGHT. It's been a pleasure entertaining you for a few minutes. Let's Dance.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Sunday, March 02, 2008
THE BIG 4-5
Hello folks:
I hope your weekend went well. Everything seems okay on this end, as the temperature starts to climb a little. Looks like most days will be in the high-30's/low-40's. We can take that, can't we?
Last Thursday, Feb. 28 was the lovely Patty's 45th birthday. Those of you that know her, will know that Patty HATES her birthday and any ackowledgement of said birthday. Or so she would have you think. So how did she deal with turning 45 this year? Why....she threw herself a "Highway To Hell/Halfway To 90 party, of course.
Held at the site of the famous Daytona Ave. poker tournaments, the home of Mary Burgess was the backdrop for a Patty classic. Patty planned the party. She designed and sent out the invites. She bought ALL of the food and most of the beverages. She did all of the cooking. She even did alot of the cleanup. She is a whack-a-mole of the highest order, at times. About 30 folks attended and everyone had a good time. There was a special appearance by Dick Oppe, Patty's dad, who flew up from Palm Harbor, Florida for the gala event. Patty was only a little surprised, as she figured her dad would pull something out of his hat.
One of the highlights of the evening was a photo album of the people at the party, made during the party, by Patty's college friend, Ellen Dragonette. She went around taking pictures, which she developed on the spot with her photo printer and then had people write down comments on pieces of paper. She then put together this little album, which got passed around for everyone to check out. Really nice touch. Patty hangs out with her friends from college every few weeks. They have a great relationship. Kind of like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, but it's the Sisterhood of Chicks With Over-40 Ailments. Last summer when they were all over for a cookout, they all had a discussion about their styles of labia. Yep...you read that right. They grossed each other out discussing types of vaginas. (Innies, outies, slits, liver curtains). I do that with my guy friends, as I'm sure the rest of you do, too. We discuss hairiness and leathery-quality of our scrotums when we're in the lockerroom at work. Then we discuss if we're more well-shafted or big-balled. So anyway...Patty and her friends from college (St Rose) are very close. I would have said "tight," but that might have made you misunderstand what I was saying.
A huge thank-you goes out to Mary Burgess for letting us use her house for this prestigious event. 30 people wouldn't have fit inside our house. Mary's house, as has been shown in the past, is a great place for a get-together. Some of the illustrious attendees were (I'm naming them so they can see their names posted in the famous Len Is Right blog): Barb and Kevin Koehler, Deb and Tony Sansone, Melissa and Rob Lindley--voted Cutest Couple by Patty--, Dave and Julie, Don and Charlotte, The Owens family, Fred and Sally Theadore (Sally was wearing her best booby-showing sweater), JenCame and her petite friend, Annie, also with an impressively filled sweater (as commented on by some of the men-folk), Judy and Jay, John and the aforementioned Ellen, and Patty's teaching colleagues, Lynn and Teresa (pronounced Tressa, why? I don't know). There were also timely birthday calls from favorite cousin Dave Tollerton in North Carolina and long-lost friend Sarah Perkins Cortese from Sarasota, FL. You can check out Sarah's husband, John's band, the Boneshakers on their MySpace page. Go to MySpace.com and type in The Boneshakers. Maximum rock-a-billy in the heart of Florida.
Because of the crappy snow-storm that came during the party, most people left by 10:00, which gave us some decent recovery time to get up for the boys bowling the next morning. So, Friday night was a winner. Thanks again, very much, to Mary Burgess for being an all-around best friend to P.T. and to all those that attended. It meant alot to Patty that you could make it. Thanks, also, to Patty for throwning a great party. Happy 45th birthday, hon, I love you very much. And remember...45 is only a number. A fairly LARGE number, but a number all the same. Don't sweat the small stuff.
I'd like to welcome Nikki Leto to the Len Is Right reader family. Amazing what a small world it is. We find we know alot of the same people as we go through our lives. We, all of us, end up having mutual friends. We discover this as we run into people we know...kind of like the Six Degrees Of Seperation from Kevin Bacon-principle. You dig?
Alright people, have a great week. More in a day or two. Please remember in all that you do that, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
I hope your weekend went well. Everything seems okay on this end, as the temperature starts to climb a little. Looks like most days will be in the high-30's/low-40's. We can take that, can't we?
Last Thursday, Feb. 28 was the lovely Patty's 45th birthday. Those of you that know her, will know that Patty HATES her birthday and any ackowledgement of said birthday. Or so she would have you think. So how did she deal with turning 45 this year? Why....she threw herself a "Highway To Hell/Halfway To 90 party, of course.
Held at the site of the famous Daytona Ave. poker tournaments, the home of Mary Burgess was the backdrop for a Patty classic. Patty planned the party. She designed and sent out the invites. She bought ALL of the food and most of the beverages. She did all of the cooking. She even did alot of the cleanup. She is a whack-a-mole of the highest order, at times. About 30 folks attended and everyone had a good time. There was a special appearance by Dick Oppe, Patty's dad, who flew up from Palm Harbor, Florida for the gala event. Patty was only a little surprised, as she figured her dad would pull something out of his hat.
One of the highlights of the evening was a photo album of the people at the party, made during the party, by Patty's college friend, Ellen Dragonette. She went around taking pictures, which she developed on the spot with her photo printer and then had people write down comments on pieces of paper. She then put together this little album, which got passed around for everyone to check out. Really nice touch. Patty hangs out with her friends from college every few weeks. They have a great relationship. Kind of like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, but it's the Sisterhood of Chicks With Over-40 Ailments. Last summer when they were all over for a cookout, they all had a discussion about their styles of labia. Yep...you read that right. They grossed each other out discussing types of vaginas. (Innies, outies, slits, liver curtains). I do that with my guy friends, as I'm sure the rest of you do, too. We discuss hairiness and leathery-quality of our scrotums when we're in the lockerroom at work. Then we discuss if we're more well-shafted or big-balled. So anyway...Patty and her friends from college (St Rose) are very close. I would have said "tight," but that might have made you misunderstand what I was saying.
A huge thank-you goes out to Mary Burgess for letting us use her house for this prestigious event. 30 people wouldn't have fit inside our house. Mary's house, as has been shown in the past, is a great place for a get-together. Some of the illustrious attendees were (I'm naming them so they can see their names posted in the famous Len Is Right blog): Barb and Kevin Koehler, Deb and Tony Sansone, Melissa and Rob Lindley--voted Cutest Couple by Patty--, Dave and Julie, Don and Charlotte, The Owens family, Fred and Sally Theadore (Sally was wearing her best booby-showing sweater), JenCame and her petite friend, Annie, also with an impressively filled sweater (as commented on by some of the men-folk), Judy and Jay, John and the aforementioned Ellen, and Patty's teaching colleagues, Lynn and Teresa (pronounced Tressa, why? I don't know). There were also timely birthday calls from favorite cousin Dave Tollerton in North Carolina and long-lost friend Sarah Perkins Cortese from Sarasota, FL. You can check out Sarah's husband, John's band, the Boneshakers on their MySpace page. Go to MySpace.com and type in The Boneshakers. Maximum rock-a-billy in the heart of Florida.
Because of the crappy snow-storm that came during the party, most people left by 10:00, which gave us some decent recovery time to get up for the boys bowling the next morning. So, Friday night was a winner. Thanks again, very much, to Mary Burgess for being an all-around best friend to P.T. and to all those that attended. It meant alot to Patty that you could make it. Thanks, also, to Patty for throwning a great party. Happy 45th birthday, hon, I love you very much. And remember...45 is only a number. A fairly LARGE number, but a number all the same. Don't sweat the small stuff.
I'd like to welcome Nikki Leto to the Len Is Right reader family. Amazing what a small world it is. We find we know alot of the same people as we go through our lives. We, all of us, end up having mutual friends. We discover this as we run into people we know...kind of like the Six Degrees Of Seperation from Kevin Bacon-principle. You dig?
Alright people, have a great week. More in a day or two. Please remember in all that you do that, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton
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