Tuesday, March 11, 2008

GOVERNOR SPITZER AND DANCE LESSON #2

Minions:
All I can say is, "DUUUUUDE!!!! WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?!" I mean, you've got this feud going with Senator Bruno and you let your guard (and your pants) down for a blowjob in Washington? C'Mon. What a disappointment.

How does a guy, who was the State's top watchdog, going after all the corporate bad guys in NY City, the Golden Boy of the Law industry in New York, gets elected Governor, tries to take on what he sees as corruption in State govt., make this huge an error in judgement?

When you do dirty shit, someone is eventually going to find out. If one other person knows, then you ALWAYS have to look over your shoulder and watch your back. You CANNOT let your guard down and engage in stupid activities. And for goodness sake, please use an assumed name when you join the high-priced hooker club (Emperor's Club VIP), will ya? Oh, and by the way, $5500 per hour for a hooker is way too steep. I think Mr. Spitzer's former Office (The Attorney General) should look into price gouging in the prostitution industry. Criminy sakes, $5500 for 1 HOUR? Sorry ladies, but no pussy is THAT good. On the other hand, $10,000 per hour isn't enough when you see some of the men who are paying for this service. I mean, I work with a guy who showers on the average of once every week or two, and if I was a woman (hooker), there wouldn't be enough money for me to sleep with that filthy MOFO, so I guess if you can get it, more power to you, but holy shit!!

Resign, Mr. Spitzer. You have gone over the top in disappointing the people of your state. I was willing to give President Clinton a pass on his indiscretions. He was the leader of the free world. All you are is a state Governor. You dumb ass, you used your real name to join the club? What? Were you high on crack at the time? Are we going to find this out later on? "Governor Spitzer was smoking crack the night he gave his name to a $5500/hour hooker." It's time to go, sir. All of the work you did as Attorney General and tried to do as Governor are now in the proverbial toilet. Nice going. May I please advise that you come to terms with the letters C-Y-A? That stands for Cover Your Ass. You didn't. Good luck with the rest of your political aspirations.

Ahhhh, no worries. Resign. Write a book or two. Go on Oprah. Hit the banquet circuit, like Bill Clinton. Hey, you'll make millions. Your future is secure. You might even get a movie deal for your story. Of course the ending will take only a couple of minutes of film time, cause your ass flamed out QUICK!!

DANCE LESSON #2
Last night, Patty and I had our second dance lesson. I enjoyed it more this time, cause I got the Swing step down a little better. And ladies, I am one waltzing MOFO, now. I can box-step and spin the girl like a champ. If you hear a waltz being played at a wedding, you better come and get me for a dance.

Patty is still not comfortable dancing with the other men in the class. I think she'd rather have private lessons. We'll probably look into that at a later time (like after the dog gets paid off). We dance well together and I think she's ultimately comfortable with me as her partner (I freakin' hope so).

I did get reprimanded, AGAIN, by Elinor the Dance Nazi (one of the veterans who helps out the teacher) for a couple of procedure infractions. "Elbow up. Place my hand on your shoulder when switching from Open position to Closed while doing the Swing. Remember the change in step." Hey Elinor, how 'bout kissing my ass. I'm trying not to step on your foot and keep in time, ya flamenco-dressed bitch, give me a break. Your patience-tested smile does not fool me. Get a date will ya?

Anyway, it's been fun so far. Patty says I dragged her to this class. Not so. I got these lessons for her and US. Do I look like Fred Astaire? Do I look like Adele Astaire? I look more like a set of stairs going down into the basement. Hey Hon, bear with me. We'll end up appreciating this experience down the road. We'll either be good dancers who actually have fun at weddings, or we'll get some big laughs out of this. Patty's other dance partners end up staring at her chest, which doesn't sit well with her. Of course, she understands.

Hey folks, have a great day. I hope to be back to you soon with another timely post.
To (soon to be) Mr. Citizen Spitzer, may I be so bold as to recommend becoming a member of LEN IS RIGHT? If you had been a MINION all along, you'd never have gotten into this mess. And the Bruno thing would never have gotten started. Live and learn.

I am,
Len Tollerton

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

$5500? I just don't get it! As always, Len is RIGHT!!!