Hello friends:
Today, a very short post intended for the attention of one dear person. I'm sorry, make that two. But I'm also hoping that everyone reads and enjoys it.
Mrs. Koehler:
Finally, after 14 despicable years of hope and disappointment, it looks like the Piece of Garbage Braves from Atlanta will be handing over the Division Crown to the only other team that deserves it. It was extremely enjoyable watching the first Mets sweep of the Braves in Atlanta since 1985.
Miss J. Koehler:
The enjoyment factor was made exponentially so by having Crapper Jones injure his oblique muscle. Watching him writhe in pain in the Braves dugout was almost as good as smacking his smug-ass face myself.
To both Koehler women:
DIE BRAVES!! DIE!! DIE!! DIE!! DIE!! DIE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
To the rest of my fantastic readers, even Brick City Craig the Braves fan, I'd like to thank you for indulging this long-suffering Mets fan. You see, the Mets, too, have insured that Len Is Right!!!
L. Tollerton
Monday, July 31, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
AN ANSWER TO THE EDGE OF DARKNESS
The Edge of Darkness wrote to ask if I had any insight to who will be in the playoffs and go to the Super Bowl. It's difficult to give an educated answer or a final answer until Training Camps are over. But I will give my early season picks.
AFC East--Miami
AFC North--Pittsburgh
AFC South--Indy
AFC West--Denver
Wild Cards--Kansas City and Cincinnatti
AFC Champion--Denver
NFC East--Dallas
NFC North--Chicago
NFC South--Carolina
NFC West--Seattle
Wild Cards--Washington and Arizona
NFC Champion--Carolina
Super Bowl Champion--Carolina
Ask me again when the season begins.
LIR!!
AFC East--Miami
AFC North--Pittsburgh
AFC South--Indy
AFC West--Denver
Wild Cards--Kansas City and Cincinnatti
AFC Champion--Denver
NFC East--Dallas
NFC North--Chicago
NFC South--Carolina
NFC West--Seattle
Wild Cards--Washington and Arizona
NFC Champion--Carolina
Super Bowl Champion--Carolina
Ask me again when the season begins.
LIR!!
TODAY'S TAKE AND THE ZEN OF THE B.M.
Welcome to Len Is Right:
Today I am writing in an encouraged state of mind, as yesterday's round of golf at Schenectady Municipal garnered me an 84, my best round of the year. I hadn't played in about 3 weeks and I wasn't expecting any better than an 88. In truth, I believe my score should have been around 79, but I putted horribly from short range, usually my strong point. I had 8 pars and 1 birdie, and actually putted for Eagle on the last hole from about 15 feet and was lucky enough to puke up a 3-putt for a par. So much for delusions of grandeur. On an up note, I drove the ball well all day long, never getting myself into trouble involving the woods and my irons and chipping game were pretty good too. I just had trouble sinking putts. I'm looking forward to the next time I play, though it depends on the course, I suppose.
THE NEW PROJECT AT THE HOUSE
Well, we now have a plan and starting date for the new bathroom project. For years now, the lovely wife has been asking for a bathroom upstairs in the house. I was finally able to put together enough money and hired a reputable and talented contractor to do the job. Why a bathroom upstairs? Very simple. Other than convenience, the real reason is that when your bedroom is upstairs and you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, the adrenalin you use climbing back up the stairs after using the bathroom downstairs, effectively makes falling back to sleep very difficult. Once you get back up to bed, unless you're dead-tired, your mind usually starts getting thoughts of whatever is going on in your life, and it ends up taking a while to fall back to sleep. This makes for some long days if you're a teacher and you have to be on your toes around school children. In any event, the bathroom project will be going on during the month of August, and will be eliminating the chance for us to get to the ocean for a few days because I'll be helping the contractor, to save money.
A GROSS BUT NECESSARY TOPIC
After reading this section, you'll probably ask yourself, "Why did Len feel the need to rant on this? This is disgusting!" Yes, but I believe it is necessary AND helpful. If you are of a sensitive constitution, stop here and come back and read on another day. If you are not so squeamish, please forge ahead and I will give you some helpful advice.
Without further ado, I bring you.................
THE ZEN OF THE BOWEL MOVEMENT
I know, I know. You're thinking, "This guy is off his rocker." But folks, after years of speaking with people and being alongside people in public bathrooms (adjoining stalls), I have come up with some advice for having the smoothest possible bowel movement.
I have often been in a Men's Room doing my business in the stall and have heard the poor soul next to me grunting and pushing, breathing heavy and heaving large sorrowful sighs. You know that when you hear these sounds, that the person next to you is having no fun, that they may be experiencing pain, and may be bringing upon themselves a hellacious case of hemorrhoids. This needn't be, my friends.
First off, your bowel movement is somewhat dependent on your diet. While I will not expound on dietary choices, I will say that there are certain foods we eat that make it difficult for all that is inside of us to come out smoothly. Indeed, some foods end up remaining in our colons for years! Sounds hard to believe, right? But did you know that when John Wayne died, they found food in his colon that they believe was in there for 40 years. Now, before I make this post into a lecture of how to clean your colon, let me impart the Information that you REALLY need. First off, pushing and grunting because you are in a hurry, or because you hate being in the bathroom, or because your legs have fallen asleep doesn't really help, and can, in fact, be detrimental. It causes longer wipe times and may trigger a "blowout", which none of us really need. How do we combat this? This is.....
THE ZEN...
Okay, I'll try to make this short and sweet. Upon sitting upon the "throne," I recommend a very slight spreading of the cheeks. And I mean very slight. Radical overspreading can cause the "Whistling Balloon" Effect. The Whistling Balloon Effect is like what happens when you try to let a little air out of a balloon that you've just blown up. You pull apart, or stretch the opening of the balloon in order to make a whistling or squeaking sound. While this works for balloons, it is bad for the rectum. You don't want a tightened orifice. You do, however, want to get the cheeks out of the way, especially if you are a hairy person. Next, relax. You need to try and put away other thoughts that you may be having and concentrate on relaxing your body. I'm not saying you need to put yourself to sleep or in a trance. But it really behooves you to get into a muscularly relaxed state. After relaxing your body muscles, the next thing you want to do is to breathe deeply and slowly. This slows down your heartrate and relaxes you so your bodily functions flow more smoooooothly. This relaxation technique brings on a thing I like to call "The Slide." See, you want the Slide. You want to AVOID the Machine Gun or the Depth Charge. The Slide is where it's at. The Slide is what all Zen Masters aspire to. Can you dig what I mean?
Now I realize this process takes a little longer than the old push and grunt method. But with a little practice you will get the process down faster and your body will be ready to relax and make "The Slide" a reality. What this will do, will be to more easily make sure the colon is clean, and will help you avoid hemorrhoids and fissures that "creep" up when you are doing a stressful bowel movement.
ONCE AGAIN...THE ZEN METHOD
To recap, once you are seated comfortably, you do a very slight spread, you relax body muscles, you breathe deeply, and finally allow for "The Slide." Finally, I would like to recommend the use of a Witch Hazel pad (like Tucks, but there are generic pads you can buy). They prevent hemorrhoids and ensure a clean rectum. Please excuse my indelicateness.
THERE YOU HAVE IT!!
Okay, I am done. If you follow my advice, you too can become a true disciple of Len Is Right!!
Remember, any questions on Life, Love, Sports, Entertainment, Sex, Religion, Politics, and the World Condition will be answered in a timely manner. All you have to do is submit.
NEED TEXTBOOKS FOR COLLEGE?
Scroll down and click on the link for TextbooksX.com to find books for your college student at a deep discount. If you have a kid in college, you know how expensive textbooks have become. By checking out TextbooksX.com you may be able to save alot of money. So check it out. I have some new links on the in the Link area and more are on the way. Money saving sites for clothes, camping equipment, stereo and mp3's, food, wine, and sports equipment. If you shop online, you owe it to yourself to check out the discounts available through the Len Is Right Links Section.
It has been my pleasure to post for you today. Keep the Faith....because, as always, Len Is Right!!
I am,
Len Tollerton
Today I am writing in an encouraged state of mind, as yesterday's round of golf at Schenectady Municipal garnered me an 84, my best round of the year. I hadn't played in about 3 weeks and I wasn't expecting any better than an 88. In truth, I believe my score should have been around 79, but I putted horribly from short range, usually my strong point. I had 8 pars and 1 birdie, and actually putted for Eagle on the last hole from about 15 feet and was lucky enough to puke up a 3-putt for a par. So much for delusions of grandeur. On an up note, I drove the ball well all day long, never getting myself into trouble involving the woods and my irons and chipping game were pretty good too. I just had trouble sinking putts. I'm looking forward to the next time I play, though it depends on the course, I suppose.
THE NEW PROJECT AT THE HOUSE
Well, we now have a plan and starting date for the new bathroom project. For years now, the lovely wife has been asking for a bathroom upstairs in the house. I was finally able to put together enough money and hired a reputable and talented contractor to do the job. Why a bathroom upstairs? Very simple. Other than convenience, the real reason is that when your bedroom is upstairs and you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, the adrenalin you use climbing back up the stairs after using the bathroom downstairs, effectively makes falling back to sleep very difficult. Once you get back up to bed, unless you're dead-tired, your mind usually starts getting thoughts of whatever is going on in your life, and it ends up taking a while to fall back to sleep. This makes for some long days if you're a teacher and you have to be on your toes around school children. In any event, the bathroom project will be going on during the month of August, and will be eliminating the chance for us to get to the ocean for a few days because I'll be helping the contractor, to save money.
A GROSS BUT NECESSARY TOPIC
After reading this section, you'll probably ask yourself, "Why did Len feel the need to rant on this? This is disgusting!" Yes, but I believe it is necessary AND helpful. If you are of a sensitive constitution, stop here and come back and read on another day. If you are not so squeamish, please forge ahead and I will give you some helpful advice.
Without further ado, I bring you.................
THE ZEN OF THE BOWEL MOVEMENT
I know, I know. You're thinking, "This guy is off his rocker." But folks, after years of speaking with people and being alongside people in public bathrooms (adjoining stalls), I have come up with some advice for having the smoothest possible bowel movement.
I have often been in a Men's Room doing my business in the stall and have heard the poor soul next to me grunting and pushing, breathing heavy and heaving large sorrowful sighs. You know that when you hear these sounds, that the person next to you is having no fun, that they may be experiencing pain, and may be bringing upon themselves a hellacious case of hemorrhoids. This needn't be, my friends.
First off, your bowel movement is somewhat dependent on your diet. While I will not expound on dietary choices, I will say that there are certain foods we eat that make it difficult for all that is inside of us to come out smoothly. Indeed, some foods end up remaining in our colons for years! Sounds hard to believe, right? But did you know that when John Wayne died, they found food in his colon that they believe was in there for 40 years. Now, before I make this post into a lecture of how to clean your colon, let me impart the Information that you REALLY need. First off, pushing and grunting because you are in a hurry, or because you hate being in the bathroom, or because your legs have fallen asleep doesn't really help, and can, in fact, be detrimental. It causes longer wipe times and may trigger a "blowout", which none of us really need. How do we combat this? This is.....
THE ZEN...
Okay, I'll try to make this short and sweet. Upon sitting upon the "throne," I recommend a very slight spreading of the cheeks. And I mean very slight. Radical overspreading can cause the "Whistling Balloon" Effect. The Whistling Balloon Effect is like what happens when you try to let a little air out of a balloon that you've just blown up. You pull apart, or stretch the opening of the balloon in order to make a whistling or squeaking sound. While this works for balloons, it is bad for the rectum. You don't want a tightened orifice. You do, however, want to get the cheeks out of the way, especially if you are a hairy person. Next, relax. You need to try and put away other thoughts that you may be having and concentrate on relaxing your body. I'm not saying you need to put yourself to sleep or in a trance. But it really behooves you to get into a muscularly relaxed state. After relaxing your body muscles, the next thing you want to do is to breathe deeply and slowly. This slows down your heartrate and relaxes you so your bodily functions flow more smoooooothly. This relaxation technique brings on a thing I like to call "The Slide." See, you want the Slide. You want to AVOID the Machine Gun or the Depth Charge. The Slide is where it's at. The Slide is what all Zen Masters aspire to. Can you dig what I mean?
Now I realize this process takes a little longer than the old push and grunt method. But with a little practice you will get the process down faster and your body will be ready to relax and make "The Slide" a reality. What this will do, will be to more easily make sure the colon is clean, and will help you avoid hemorrhoids and fissures that "creep" up when you are doing a stressful bowel movement.
ONCE AGAIN...THE ZEN METHOD
To recap, once you are seated comfortably, you do a very slight spread, you relax body muscles, you breathe deeply, and finally allow for "The Slide." Finally, I would like to recommend the use of a Witch Hazel pad (like Tucks, but there are generic pads you can buy). They prevent hemorrhoids and ensure a clean rectum. Please excuse my indelicateness.
THERE YOU HAVE IT!!
Okay, I am done. If you follow my advice, you too can become a true disciple of Len Is Right!!
Remember, any questions on Life, Love, Sports, Entertainment, Sex, Religion, Politics, and the World Condition will be answered in a timely manner. All you have to do is submit.
NEED TEXTBOOKS FOR COLLEGE?
Scroll down and click on the link for TextbooksX.com to find books for your college student at a deep discount. If you have a kid in college, you know how expensive textbooks have become. By checking out TextbooksX.com you may be able to save alot of money. So check it out. I have some new links on the in the Link area and more are on the way. Money saving sites for clothes, camping equipment, stereo and mp3's, food, wine, and sports equipment. If you shop online, you owe it to yourself to check out the discounts available through the Len Is Right Links Section.
It has been my pleasure to post for you today. Keep the Faith....because, as always, Len Is Right!!
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
URGENT ADD-ON POST
HEY!!!
Where are all those advice questions from you people? I put myself out on the line and I get 2 questions from the lovelorn and sexually frustrated SHEISFROMHELL and that's it??!!
Come on People! Are you my minions, or not? I'm not just here to be smart and good-looking. I'm here to help and show you how right I, Len, am. So let's get busy. Fire away with those questions that you need advice for. Come ON!!
Also...I wanted to direct you to the Links section, as there is a new link for Cambridge Sound Works. They provide some serious quality electronics that you should take a look at. In the coming days I will be putting up Links to some new companies that I think you'll be interested in. Make sure to check them out.
Thanks.
LT
Where are all those advice questions from you people? I put myself out on the line and I get 2 questions from the lovelorn and sexually frustrated SHEISFROMHELL and that's it??!!
Come on People! Are you my minions, or not? I'm not just here to be smart and good-looking. I'm here to help and show you how right I, Len, am. So let's get busy. Fire away with those questions that you need advice for. Come ON!!
Also...I wanted to direct you to the Links section, as there is a new link for Cambridge Sound Works. They provide some serious quality electronics that you should take a look at. In the coming days I will be putting up Links to some new companies that I think you'll be interested in. Make sure to check them out.
Thanks.
LT
LAST DAY ON MIDNIGHTS AND SARATOGA
Good day to you, my people:
Today is another beautiful day in the Northeast. My NY Mets, despite their loss last night, still hold a double-digit lead in the NL East. The NFL training camps open this week, which means the Fantasy Football season is within sight. Tomorrow (Wednesday 7/26), the Saratoga Flat Track, the oldest horse racing track in the country, will open its gates for the 6-week summer season. If you've never been to Saratoga in the summer, you've missed out on a beautiful and exciting part of our country.
The Saratoga Flat Track is a great place to spend a day during the month of August. From watching early morning workouts and eating breakfast, to watching and wagering on high-stakes horse races beginning at 1:00 p.m. everyday (except Tuesdays), is really alot of fun. The track provides the perfect venue for people watching. From the richest of the rich, to the lowest of classic white-trash, you can find it all at the Track. It's one of the few places I know where you can see people dressed in $500 dresses, high heels and hats, and $1000 Armani suits standing next to (but not usually talking to) some guy in cutoff jeans and a wife-beater shirt and his chain smoking girlfriend with too much eye-liner and a couple of missing teeth. The food vendors charge too much...but it's good. You bring a folding chair and a cooler, buy a program and the Daily Racing Form, stake out a place to sit near the Paddock and enjoy the day. We usually place our bets and choose between watching the race on the Jumbo-Trons near the Paddock and going into the Grandstand and watching the horses race live. It really gets exciting when the horses round the turn and head for the stretch and the crowd noise begins to swell with people shouting their horse's name or number, hoping it won't be a photo finish...thus prolonging their agony. The best days to go are Thursdays and Fridays because there is room to move, but usually still a decent sized crowd. The absolute WORST day to go is the Saturday that they run the Travers Stakes, also known as the Mid-Summer Derby. Just too many people.
So, if you're ever in the Northeast in the month of August, you owe it to yourself to try to get to Saratoga for a day of fun, people watching and great horse racing. And....if you're lucky, you may also run into our friend, Chuck the Edge of Darkness, who will be prowling the grounds as a member of the H. James Bond Trainer group. He'll be the one wearing the Royal blue LEN IS RIGHT tee-shirt. Soon, you'll be able to get your very own Len Is Right tee-shirt, so you can prove to your friends that YOU, TOO, are Right.
MY TIME ON MIDNIGHTS COMES TO AN END
Tonight I work my last night on the midnight shift. Because of a type of downsizing at Amtrak Rensselaer, my job was abolished and I had to make a bump, exercising my seniority, and take a vacation-relief job. I am somewhat sad to be leaving the shift because my close friend, Roy the G.B King, works the shift along with my work partner Tim G. I also work with a bunch of other good people (like BVA, Craig the Brick City Dawg, Claus and El Greco). We all do alot of laughing while we try to make it through another day of Railroad stupidity.
I am happy to be leaving because I will be able to get back on a normal-person's sleep schedule and maybe my body will start to feel a little better. I've suffered a loss of mental sharpness over the last year, because of a lack of sleep. I don't think humans should work a 3rd shift, although I realize that in many places it is necessary to have a 3rd shift. And actually, a majority of the people that work the midnight shift are there by choice, because it allows them to work a second job, or they don't get along with management on other shifts, or they don't want to miss any family activities because they are working on the 2nd shift.
There are many Pros and Cons to working 3rd Shift. For me, it started to wear on my body and it was only allowing me to actually sleep with my wife 2 nights per week. While that would work for some couples, it's become a drag for us. August 3 will be our 20th Wedding Anniversary and not being home while the rest of the family sleeps got to be a bit much. Since I will be working the vacation-relief job, I will bounce around on all 3 shifts. But normally I will be on the Day shift with weekends off just like a normal member of the working public.
I'd like to take this time to say a fond farewell to my co-workers on the 3rd Shift. I've enjoyed, for the most part, working and interacting with you. I hope you won't skewer my replacement too harshly.
THE GRADUATION PARTY
This past Saturday was the Graduation party for Skyler, son of the G.B. King and Meghan, daughter of the Edge of Darkness. Although it rained most of the day, it did not deter the kids from swimming all day. The food was great, the beer flowed and the conversations were fun. We played a bunch of bocce and even were lucky enough to get a little Texas Hold-'Em tourney in. (I played poorly) But best of all, some of the attendees received their new Royal blue LEN IS RIGHT TEE-SHIRTS. Only the priviledged got the first printing as gifts. Hopefully soon, this great garment will be available to the General Public for purchase. When that happens, you need to grab one, if only to prove that you know the truth, and to alert people to the fact that the movement has started.
THE LEN IS RIGHT MOVEMENT HAS STARTED
Learn it. Live It. Love It. Why? Because LEN IS RIGHT!!
Try to live in Peace. And if you can't, make sure you choke the other guy first.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Today is another beautiful day in the Northeast. My NY Mets, despite their loss last night, still hold a double-digit lead in the NL East. The NFL training camps open this week, which means the Fantasy Football season is within sight. Tomorrow (Wednesday 7/26), the Saratoga Flat Track, the oldest horse racing track in the country, will open its gates for the 6-week summer season. If you've never been to Saratoga in the summer, you've missed out on a beautiful and exciting part of our country.
The Saratoga Flat Track is a great place to spend a day during the month of August. From watching early morning workouts and eating breakfast, to watching and wagering on high-stakes horse races beginning at 1:00 p.m. everyday (except Tuesdays), is really alot of fun. The track provides the perfect venue for people watching. From the richest of the rich, to the lowest of classic white-trash, you can find it all at the Track. It's one of the few places I know where you can see people dressed in $500 dresses, high heels and hats, and $1000 Armani suits standing next to (but not usually talking to) some guy in cutoff jeans and a wife-beater shirt and his chain smoking girlfriend with too much eye-liner and a couple of missing teeth. The food vendors charge too much...but it's good. You bring a folding chair and a cooler, buy a program and the Daily Racing Form, stake out a place to sit near the Paddock and enjoy the day. We usually place our bets and choose between watching the race on the Jumbo-Trons near the Paddock and going into the Grandstand and watching the horses race live. It really gets exciting when the horses round the turn and head for the stretch and the crowd noise begins to swell with people shouting their horse's name or number, hoping it won't be a photo finish...thus prolonging their agony. The best days to go are Thursdays and Fridays because there is room to move, but usually still a decent sized crowd. The absolute WORST day to go is the Saturday that they run the Travers Stakes, also known as the Mid-Summer Derby. Just too many people.
So, if you're ever in the Northeast in the month of August, you owe it to yourself to try to get to Saratoga for a day of fun, people watching and great horse racing. And....if you're lucky, you may also run into our friend, Chuck the Edge of Darkness, who will be prowling the grounds as a member of the H. James Bond Trainer group. He'll be the one wearing the Royal blue LEN IS RIGHT tee-shirt. Soon, you'll be able to get your very own Len Is Right tee-shirt, so you can prove to your friends that YOU, TOO, are Right.
MY TIME ON MIDNIGHTS COMES TO AN END
Tonight I work my last night on the midnight shift. Because of a type of downsizing at Amtrak Rensselaer, my job was abolished and I had to make a bump, exercising my seniority, and take a vacation-relief job. I am somewhat sad to be leaving the shift because my close friend, Roy the G.B King, works the shift along with my work partner Tim G. I also work with a bunch of other good people (like BVA, Craig the Brick City Dawg, Claus and El Greco). We all do alot of laughing while we try to make it through another day of Railroad stupidity.
I am happy to be leaving because I will be able to get back on a normal-person's sleep schedule and maybe my body will start to feel a little better. I've suffered a loss of mental sharpness over the last year, because of a lack of sleep. I don't think humans should work a 3rd shift, although I realize that in many places it is necessary to have a 3rd shift. And actually, a majority of the people that work the midnight shift are there by choice, because it allows them to work a second job, or they don't get along with management on other shifts, or they don't want to miss any family activities because they are working on the 2nd shift.
There are many Pros and Cons to working 3rd Shift. For me, it started to wear on my body and it was only allowing me to actually sleep with my wife 2 nights per week. While that would work for some couples, it's become a drag for us. August 3 will be our 20th Wedding Anniversary and not being home while the rest of the family sleeps got to be a bit much. Since I will be working the vacation-relief job, I will bounce around on all 3 shifts. But normally I will be on the Day shift with weekends off just like a normal member of the working public.
I'd like to take this time to say a fond farewell to my co-workers on the 3rd Shift. I've enjoyed, for the most part, working and interacting with you. I hope you won't skewer my replacement too harshly.
THE GRADUATION PARTY
This past Saturday was the Graduation party for Skyler, son of the G.B. King and Meghan, daughter of the Edge of Darkness. Although it rained most of the day, it did not deter the kids from swimming all day. The food was great, the beer flowed and the conversations were fun. We played a bunch of bocce and even were lucky enough to get a little Texas Hold-'Em tourney in. (I played poorly) But best of all, some of the attendees received their new Royal blue LEN IS RIGHT TEE-SHIRTS. Only the priviledged got the first printing as gifts. Hopefully soon, this great garment will be available to the General Public for purchase. When that happens, you need to grab one, if only to prove that you know the truth, and to alert people to the fact that the movement has started.
THE LEN IS RIGHT MOVEMENT HAS STARTED
Learn it. Live It. Love It. Why? Because LEN IS RIGHT!!
Try to live in Peace. And if you can't, make sure you choke the other guy first.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Friday, July 21, 2006
SOME THINGS ALWAYS STAY THE SAME
Hello my friends:
Warm and muggy in the Northeast. One day till the long-awaited Graduation Party extravaganza of friends Skyler and his cousin Meghan, children of Roy the G.B. King and the Edge of Darkness, respectively. The party will be at another family member's home, where there is an absolutely GREAT swimming pool. Looking forward to it as the family is a bunch of good people. Perhaps an impromptu Texas Hold-'Em tourney will materialize. All-In, baby!
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE
And to what am I referring to? Kids. Or more accurately, kids playing sports in the yard, or during video games. When I was a kid and I'd play sports with my friends around the house, like whiffle ball or football or hoop, we would always have a running commentary going, like there was somebody broadcasting the games. I think even nowdays as an adult, my friends and I occasionally do it while we're on the golf course. (In high-class British accent)"We now go to the 14th tee, 182 yard Par 3, uphill and into the wind. Last year's Open Champion Chris Douglas will hit first. Oh, and he's hit a beauty. Tracking at the hole like a lawn-dart, you can almost hear the beeping as the ball homes in on its target. And OH MY!!, one bounce and off the flag stick, coming to rest 2 1/2 feet from the hole! He'll have a short birdie attempt from there. Now, Watervliet resident Robert the Bounty Hunter. Robert finished 367th in the U. S. Amateur Public Links and got a special exemption to be in this tournament when he beat the tournament Director in a heads-up poker game. Now The Hunter......Ian,... can you figure out why he's lined up so far to the left?" "Yes, Nigel, it's because Robert is a horrendous slicer of the ball." "I see. And Oh dear, you seem to be right, as is Robert, who has sliced his tee shot past the right-side bunker and into Old Butt-Crack Pond. What a shame."
That's kind of what we do today. And my kids, as I observe, do it too. What's strange is that my kids don't even watch sports on TV. I know that shocks all of you who know me, but it's true. Nevertheless, they give a broadcast, along with the "OH,what a great shot!!" kind of stuff they must hear from the TV when I watch sports. They're all great imitators, aren't they? Having kids makes you have to be careful of the things you say around the house. You might find the same sarcastic or vulgar stuff coming right back at you from the mouth of some kids, smart-ass or not.
GOOD-BYE TO THE SAUCE SITE.COM
July 31 will be the last day for www.thesaucesite.com I have decided to close it down and concenrtate more on this blog and erecting some other websites in order to generate some extra income for the family. Working at Amtrak in Rensselaer is the pits. I need 9 more years to get 30 and I need 17 more years to get to age 60 where I can retire. I am sure I can't take it that much longer, and I am bound and determined to find a niche in the marketplace, or somewhere out in the world, college degree or not, where I can excercise whatever talents I have and make the kind of income that I believe I should be making and be able to leave the esteem-sapping hole that is Amtrak. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT THE WORKERS AT AMTRAK HAVE NOT HAD A RAISE IN 6 1/2 YEARS? That's not a misprint. Our last contract ran out in December of 1999. The management where I work is woefully sub-standard and exists somewhere in the 50's-70's era. I won't go into the whole thing now, but suffice to say, they need some management gurus who have kept up with modern management practices to come in, clean house of present management, and get the morale, caring, and production back up. We all do our job and get the trains out on time, but absolutely no one cares. Ah, c'est la vie. You don't like the station you're listening to, change it, if you get my drift.
Alright everybody, have a great weekend. I was able to get the second Pick in my Fantasy Football League's draft, so Shaun Alexander of the Seattle Seahawks will be coming to play for the Assassins in the Pit of Despair. Be VERY Afraid.
And if you do NOTHING else this weekend, please remeber that....LEN IS RIGHT!!
I am,
Len Tollerton
Warm and muggy in the Northeast. One day till the long-awaited Graduation Party extravaganza of friends Skyler and his cousin Meghan, children of Roy the G.B. King and the Edge of Darkness, respectively. The party will be at another family member's home, where there is an absolutely GREAT swimming pool. Looking forward to it as the family is a bunch of good people. Perhaps an impromptu Texas Hold-'Em tourney will materialize. All-In, baby!
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE
And to what am I referring to? Kids. Or more accurately, kids playing sports in the yard, or during video games. When I was a kid and I'd play sports with my friends around the house, like whiffle ball or football or hoop, we would always have a running commentary going, like there was somebody broadcasting the games. I think even nowdays as an adult, my friends and I occasionally do it while we're on the golf course. (In high-class British accent)"We now go to the 14th tee, 182 yard Par 3, uphill and into the wind. Last year's Open Champion Chris Douglas will hit first. Oh, and he's hit a beauty. Tracking at the hole like a lawn-dart, you can almost hear the beeping as the ball homes in on its target. And OH MY!!, one bounce and off the flag stick, coming to rest 2 1/2 feet from the hole! He'll have a short birdie attempt from there. Now, Watervliet resident Robert the Bounty Hunter. Robert finished 367th in the U. S. Amateur Public Links and got a special exemption to be in this tournament when he beat the tournament Director in a heads-up poker game. Now The Hunter......Ian,... can you figure out why he's lined up so far to the left?" "Yes, Nigel, it's because Robert is a horrendous slicer of the ball." "I see. And Oh dear, you seem to be right, as is Robert, who has sliced his tee shot past the right-side bunker and into Old Butt-Crack Pond. What a shame."
That's kind of what we do today. And my kids, as I observe, do it too. What's strange is that my kids don't even watch sports on TV. I know that shocks all of you who know me, but it's true. Nevertheless, they give a broadcast, along with the "OH,what a great shot!!" kind of stuff they must hear from the TV when I watch sports. They're all great imitators, aren't they? Having kids makes you have to be careful of the things you say around the house. You might find the same sarcastic or vulgar stuff coming right back at you from the mouth of some kids, smart-ass or not.
GOOD-BYE TO THE SAUCE SITE.COM
July 31 will be the last day for www.thesaucesite.com I have decided to close it down and concenrtate more on this blog and erecting some other websites in order to generate some extra income for the family. Working at Amtrak in Rensselaer is the pits. I need 9 more years to get 30 and I need 17 more years to get to age 60 where I can retire. I am sure I can't take it that much longer, and I am bound and determined to find a niche in the marketplace, or somewhere out in the world, college degree or not, where I can excercise whatever talents I have and make the kind of income that I believe I should be making and be able to leave the esteem-sapping hole that is Amtrak. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT THE WORKERS AT AMTRAK HAVE NOT HAD A RAISE IN 6 1/2 YEARS? That's not a misprint. Our last contract ran out in December of 1999. The management where I work is woefully sub-standard and exists somewhere in the 50's-70's era. I won't go into the whole thing now, but suffice to say, they need some management gurus who have kept up with modern management practices to come in, clean house of present management, and get the morale, caring, and production back up. We all do our job and get the trains out on time, but absolutely no one cares. Ah, c'est la vie. You don't like the station you're listening to, change it, if you get my drift.
Alright everybody, have a great weekend. I was able to get the second Pick in my Fantasy Football League's draft, so Shaun Alexander of the Seattle Seahawks will be coming to play for the Assassins in the Pit of Despair. Be VERY Afraid.
And if you do NOTHING else this weekend, please remeber that....LEN IS RIGHT!!
I am,
Len Tollerton
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Answering another from SHEISFROMHELL
Greetings Folks:
Just a shortie today. Had some insomnia problems yesterday and need to get some sleep. The midnight shift has finally caught up to me after 2 1/2 years, and I'm starting to feel it. Body isn't right, have gained a bunch of weight (from eating just before sleeping), and seem to have lost some mental sharpness from lack of sleep. Will be on this shift for one more week, then my job has been abolished and it's Vacation Relief and shift-bouncing for me. Oh well, at least I'll be able to sleep with my wife more than 2 nights/week.
Another Advice Question from SHEISFROM HELL:
aND i QUOTE..."Another Question....we are more than a week into this Middle East conflict and the US seems to be sitting back with their thumb up their ass. Pres. George W. Bush is saying he won't decide how Israelis should defend themselves.The White House believes that quickly ending the hostilities would be a bad thing - because it would leave the underlying problems unresolved.....what the F***??????"
Answer: First off, quickly ending ANY conflict would be bad for the Bush Administration because that would slow, or dry up, Defense production and affect the pocketbooks of Mr. Bush and his Texas cronies. From 2001 till now the Bush administration, in my opinion, has been all about lies, and taking care of his campaign contributors. He stole the election from Gore in 2000 with the Florida "chad" scandal. He's dropped the ball repeatedly when it mattered most (9-11, and Katrina/New Orleans). He's kept a foolish war going, allowing Americans to be killed for nothing that interests us. Saddam Hussein didn't send the terrorists. And IMHO he has just been complete embarassment to our country when dealing with foreign heads of state.
The fools in this country elected him TWICE! NO WAY did his first term justify him being reelected. But the Democrats sent another uninspiring dildo up against him. Kind of like Dukakis in the 80's. Anyhoooo.... the USA has been kissing Isreal's ass for decades and that won't stop because they are the military POWER in the Mid-East and they are backed up by an uber-wealthy Jewish Community, here in the States. Kind of like Irish taverns in NY City taking up collections for Irish causes and sending the money to the IRA. Plus, where do you think Israel gets alot of their military equipment from? I would bet it's us, the good ole' USA.
Don't look for any rapid solutions to anything from this guy. And don't look for anything to be satisfactorilly solved until 2008, when he is finally done in Office and hopefully the Dems can nominate someone who can do the job, looking out for Americans instead of lining his own pocket and allowing massive borrowing from other countries, like China and Japan. Bush has sold us to the Devil and may be part of the Demonic cabal himself. He's got to go. Him, Cheney the Great White Hunter, and the rest of their foolish supporters.
Hey, You wanted answers from Len Is Right? You got 'em. Didn't say they'd be liked or respected. Just Right. Book it, because Len Is Right. You know that.
What will be tomorrow's burning question from the minions be? Make sure to tune in again to the only place to retain your sanity.........LEN IS RIGHT!!
PLEASE VISIT MY LINKS. YOU WILL DEFINITELY FIND SOMETHING OF INTEREST. MY LINKS LOVE ME AND YOU SHOULD LOVE MY LINKS.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Just a shortie today. Had some insomnia problems yesterday and need to get some sleep. The midnight shift has finally caught up to me after 2 1/2 years, and I'm starting to feel it. Body isn't right, have gained a bunch of weight (from eating just before sleeping), and seem to have lost some mental sharpness from lack of sleep. Will be on this shift for one more week, then my job has been abolished and it's Vacation Relief and shift-bouncing for me. Oh well, at least I'll be able to sleep with my wife more than 2 nights/week.
Another Advice Question from SHEISFROM HELL:
aND i QUOTE..."Another Question....we are more than a week into this Middle East conflict and the US seems to be sitting back with their thumb up their ass. Pres. George W. Bush is saying he won't decide how Israelis should defend themselves.The White House believes that quickly ending the hostilities would be a bad thing - because it would leave the underlying problems unresolved.....what the F***??????"
Answer: First off, quickly ending ANY conflict would be bad for the Bush Administration because that would slow, or dry up, Defense production and affect the pocketbooks of Mr. Bush and his Texas cronies. From 2001 till now the Bush administration, in my opinion, has been all about lies, and taking care of his campaign contributors. He stole the election from Gore in 2000 with the Florida "chad" scandal. He's dropped the ball repeatedly when it mattered most (9-11, and Katrina/New Orleans). He's kept a foolish war going, allowing Americans to be killed for nothing that interests us. Saddam Hussein didn't send the terrorists. And IMHO he has just been complete embarassment to our country when dealing with foreign heads of state.
The fools in this country elected him TWICE! NO WAY did his first term justify him being reelected. But the Democrats sent another uninspiring dildo up against him. Kind of like Dukakis in the 80's. Anyhoooo.... the USA has been kissing Isreal's ass for decades and that won't stop because they are the military POWER in the Mid-East and they are backed up by an uber-wealthy Jewish Community, here in the States. Kind of like Irish taverns in NY City taking up collections for Irish causes and sending the money to the IRA. Plus, where do you think Israel gets alot of their military equipment from? I would bet it's us, the good ole' USA.
Don't look for any rapid solutions to anything from this guy. And don't look for anything to be satisfactorilly solved until 2008, when he is finally done in Office and hopefully the Dems can nominate someone who can do the job, looking out for Americans instead of lining his own pocket and allowing massive borrowing from other countries, like China and Japan. Bush has sold us to the Devil and may be part of the Demonic cabal himself. He's got to go. Him, Cheney the Great White Hunter, and the rest of their foolish supporters.
Hey, You wanted answers from Len Is Right? You got 'em. Didn't say they'd be liked or respected. Just Right. Book it, because Len Is Right. You know that.
What will be tomorrow's burning question from the minions be? Make sure to tune in again to the only place to retain your sanity.........LEN IS RIGHT!!
PLEASE VISIT MY LINKS. YOU WILL DEFINITELY FIND SOMETHING OF INTEREST. MY LINKS LOVE ME AND YOU SHOULD LOVE MY LINKS.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
2 SAUCES AND A MARINADE
Hey, how is everyone today?
Today is another beautiful summer day in the Northeast. High 80's and sunny. Finally, a real summer-like week of weather. Many people complain that it's been too hot, but not me. I wait out months of cold, windy, gray, crap weather for the hot and sunny. Bring it on baby!!
THE FIRST ADVICE QUESTION GETS ANSWERED
My friend, SHEISFROMHELL, posted the question: Why is it that an Amtrak engineer can drive a train but cannot use a phone?
ANSWER: This question, seemingly, is akin to "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" First off, it must be noted that I know of the Amtrak Engineer of which you speak. His nickname at work is "The Big Dummy," which, unfortunately, tells you alot. I believe, at this point, that SHEISFROMHELL has one of two choices if she is to retain her sanity. NUMBER ONE: Call HIM on the phone and tell him to "shit or get off the pot." Explain things from beginning to end. Tell him to call or don't call again. Make plans a couple days in advance, like a scheduled date, or don't bother calling back, etc... NUMBER TWO: Blow him off and MOVE ON. If he can't think enough to call now, how will he be a year from now when it's time to remember your birthday, Valentine's Day, etc...? Don't you let the Big Dummy take girlfriend for a ride. You betta' than that, baby. You know you got it goin' on. Like the man in the Barber Shop says, "NEXT!!!" Of course you know....LEN IS RIGHT.
THE POST FOR TODAY
Today, I'm going to throw a little curveball at everyone. Instead of ranting about whatever hot topic is in my brain, I thought I'd do something that my Welcome area discusses. Sauce. And seeing that it's dead in the middle of summer, I thought I'd provide you with the recipes for 2 chilled sauces that are easy to make and one marinade to use on chicken, because I know you all love to do that grillin' in the HOT weather.
Horseradish Sauce
Here is the recipe to make Horseradish Sauce. This is great for using on sandwiches or as a dip. You can buy a pre-made bottled version in the grocery stores. A company called Woebber's makes an EXCELLENT Horseradish sauce. But many people like to use their own favorite, or fresh horseradish. Depending on your tolerance, you may want to kick up the heat by using a hotter horseradish. So, here goes:
Ingredients
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
3 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/2 cup nonfat sour cream
Procedure
In a small bowl whisk together horseradish, vinegar, mustard, mayonnaise, ground red pepper and sour cream.
Very easy and super-fresh tasting
Cool Cucumber Dill Sauce
This sauce is a real winner in summer. It goes great as a chip/appetizer dip and as a cool sauce for salmon and other fish. I eat alot of fish in the summer, so I tend to seek out stuff to put on my dinners, cause I'm never satisfied with plain.
Ingredients:
1 cup sour cream
1 cup mayonnaise
1 large cucumber, peeled, sliced lengthwise, seeded and chopped
1 Tbs. dill weed, or to taste
kosher salt to taste
white pepper to taste
Preparation:
In a bowl, combine sour cream and mayonnaise. Mix to blend. Add cucumber and dill, and mix thoroughly. Season with salt and pepper. Very easy, very quick, and it really can cool you down.
Three Citrus Chicken Marinade Recipe
In many marinade recipes, they tell you to marinate for 1-2 hours. But since I like bolder flavors, I generally marinate for longer, and ideally, overnight if I remember. Chicken on the grill, baby. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!
Ingredients:
1/2 c Fresh lime juice
1/2 c Fresh lemon juice
1/2 c Fresh orange juice
1/2 c Olive oil
4 Cloves garlic minced
2 ts Coarsely ground black-pepper
3 Crushed bay leaves
3 tb Chopped cilantro(also known as coriander)
Your choice of skinned-chicken parts
Directions:
Mix all ingredients in shallow wide mixing bowl.
Add chicken and marinate 1-2 hours. Longer for better flavor.
Grill or broil, brushing marinade on chicken 2-3 times.
NOW GO, MY MINIONS!! COOK! EAT! ENJOY!!
I don't know about you, but I seem to enjoy food more in the summertime. I think it's the fresher, non-hothouse produce. Doesn't a big tossed salad with lots of veggies, meats and cheeses with a gin-and-tonic or a fresh margarita always seem to taste better when you're sitting out on the patio, in shorts and flip-flops, instead of in the winter, indoors, staring out at the frozen tundra? It does to me.
You can find these recipes and MANY more at the Sauce Site.
http://www.thesaucesite.com
Taste the fresh goodness of life, my friends. Step out of your box when cooking and embrace experimentation. You may find some foods, sauces and techniques that become traditions that you can pass down to the rest of your family. Taste Life. LEN IS RIGHT loves ya baby!
Until next time, I am,
Len Tollerton
Today is another beautiful summer day in the Northeast. High 80's and sunny. Finally, a real summer-like week of weather. Many people complain that it's been too hot, but not me. I wait out months of cold, windy, gray, crap weather for the hot and sunny. Bring it on baby!!
THE FIRST ADVICE QUESTION GETS ANSWERED
My friend, SHEISFROMHELL, posted the question: Why is it that an Amtrak engineer can drive a train but cannot use a phone?
ANSWER: This question, seemingly, is akin to "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" First off, it must be noted that I know of the Amtrak Engineer of which you speak. His nickname at work is "The Big Dummy," which, unfortunately, tells you alot. I believe, at this point, that SHEISFROMHELL has one of two choices if she is to retain her sanity. NUMBER ONE: Call HIM on the phone and tell him to "shit or get off the pot." Explain things from beginning to end. Tell him to call or don't call again. Make plans a couple days in advance, like a scheduled date, or don't bother calling back, etc... NUMBER TWO: Blow him off and MOVE ON. If he can't think enough to call now, how will he be a year from now when it's time to remember your birthday, Valentine's Day, etc...? Don't you let the Big Dummy take girlfriend for a ride. You betta' than that, baby. You know you got it goin' on. Like the man in the Barber Shop says, "NEXT!!!" Of course you know....LEN IS RIGHT.
THE POST FOR TODAY
Today, I'm going to throw a little curveball at everyone. Instead of ranting about whatever hot topic is in my brain, I thought I'd do something that my Welcome area discusses. Sauce. And seeing that it's dead in the middle of summer, I thought I'd provide you with the recipes for 2 chilled sauces that are easy to make and one marinade to use on chicken, because I know you all love to do that grillin' in the HOT weather.
Horseradish Sauce
Here is the recipe to make Horseradish Sauce. This is great for using on sandwiches or as a dip. You can buy a pre-made bottled version in the grocery stores. A company called Woebber's makes an EXCELLENT Horseradish sauce. But many people like to use their own favorite, or fresh horseradish. Depending on your tolerance, you may want to kick up the heat by using a hotter horseradish. So, here goes:
Ingredients
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
3 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/2 cup nonfat sour cream
Procedure
In a small bowl whisk together horseradish, vinegar, mustard, mayonnaise, ground red pepper and sour cream.
Very easy and super-fresh tasting
Cool Cucumber Dill Sauce
This sauce is a real winner in summer. It goes great as a chip/appetizer dip and as a cool sauce for salmon and other fish. I eat alot of fish in the summer, so I tend to seek out stuff to put on my dinners, cause I'm never satisfied with plain.
Ingredients:
1 cup sour cream
1 cup mayonnaise
1 large cucumber, peeled, sliced lengthwise, seeded and chopped
1 Tbs. dill weed, or to taste
kosher salt to taste
white pepper to taste
Preparation:
In a bowl, combine sour cream and mayonnaise. Mix to blend. Add cucumber and dill, and mix thoroughly. Season with salt and pepper. Very easy, very quick, and it really can cool you down.
Three Citrus Chicken Marinade Recipe
In many marinade recipes, they tell you to marinate for 1-2 hours. But since I like bolder flavors, I generally marinate for longer, and ideally, overnight if I remember. Chicken on the grill, baby. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!
Ingredients:
1/2 c Fresh lime juice
1/2 c Fresh lemon juice
1/2 c Fresh orange juice
1/2 c Olive oil
4 Cloves garlic minced
2 ts Coarsely ground black-pepper
3 Crushed bay leaves
3 tb Chopped cilantro(also known as coriander)
Your choice of skinned-chicken parts
Directions:
Mix all ingredients in shallow wide mixing bowl.
Add chicken and marinate 1-2 hours. Longer for better flavor.
Grill or broil, brushing marinade on chicken 2-3 times.
NOW GO, MY MINIONS!! COOK! EAT! ENJOY!!
I don't know about you, but I seem to enjoy food more in the summertime. I think it's the fresher, non-hothouse produce. Doesn't a big tossed salad with lots of veggies, meats and cheeses with a gin-and-tonic or a fresh margarita always seem to taste better when you're sitting out on the patio, in shorts and flip-flops, instead of in the winter, indoors, staring out at the frozen tundra? It does to me.
You can find these recipes and MANY more at the Sauce Site.
http://www.thesaucesite.com
Taste the fresh goodness of life, my friends. Step out of your box when cooking and embrace experimentation. You may find some foods, sauces and techniques that become traditions that you can pass down to the rest of your family. Taste Life. LEN IS RIGHT loves ya baby!
Until next time, I am,
Len Tollerton
Monday, July 17, 2006
A NEW FEATURE AT LEN IS RIGHT!!
My friends and avid readers:
Here at Len Is Right we are always striving to bring you the best in observations of life, sports, religion, food and my beloved sauces, and the world in general. We are always trying to make sure we stay on the cutting edge by bringing you the freshest of topics and giving you insights on how life should be lived, tolerated, and enjoyed as we here at Len Is Right see it.
Given that fact and given that our pledge to you, the faithful reader, is that we will strive to help you along in your search for truth, justice, and sanity in these trying times, Len Is Right will now bring you a New Feature. Starting today, and continuing from now on, Len Is Right will give you the Answers to all questions you may have. That is not to say that Len Is Right is turning into Ask Jeeves. Please read on....
ADVICE FOR ALL!!
That's right folks. Advice for all. This is NOT Dear Abby. I will not pull any punches. I will give you the advice that is needed without concern for feelings. Why? Because if you want the real answers, the real advice, you have to get it the Len Is Right way. And that's what I promise.
I know what you're wondering. What kind of person asks for advice at Len Is Right? Who is your advice for? Those are good questions. And our answer is, we have advice for the love-lorn. Advice for the morally bankrupt. Advice for the wandering of spirit. Advice for the confused. Advice for the stupid. Advice for the curious. If you need advice we have your answer. We'll tell you how to find the right mate. We'll tell you how to find the right job, how to deal with difficult people, and who to bribe when the chips are down. We'll tell you how much to tip, what cold medicines are best, and as you well know, what sauces to try. Which car to buy, which shoes to accessorize with, which style of condom to use, why teaching is the most important profession, which Running Back to start on your fantasy team, the pros and cons of charcoal and gas when grilling, and why you should NEVER, EVER say to a woman, "Hey lady, who lit the fuse on your tampon?"
C'MON LEN, WHAT'S THE CATCH?
The Catch, and there is a catch people, is that I require your participation. I can't answer questions and give advice if you're not willing to join the fray. So far, the only person who has left comments is the Edge Of Darkness. While this mirrors our Fantasy Football League (where I am the Commissioner), it would behoove others to write in. You can easily be a part of the LEN IS RIGHT community by just clicking on the Leave Comment button at the end of each fresh blog. I will then address your question in the next blog. If you are reluctant to leave your real name, give yourself an alias, like the Edge of Darkness, or Born To Eat Toast, or even Breaks Wind At Formal Dinners. Or, if you prefer, you can email me at inextools@hotpop.com
All we are asking is that you give Len Is Right a chance to prove two things. We can come up with an answer for any question, and that YOU are smart because you know that LEN IS RIGHT.
So, there it is. My challenge and cordial invitation to you. And please, please, please pass the site address on to your ENTIRE address list. Because, how can the world be made right if it doesn't know that Len Is Right? This act of selflessness will bring many thanks from ALL the people in your life when they realize that it was you that hooked them up with LEN IS RIGHT.
THE MOVEMENT TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT HAS BEGUN
...and you, my friends, are at the forefront. Accept the role of Pioneer. Realize the true greatness that is being thrust upon you. Embrace YOUR rightness. You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Help the world to know that LEN IS RIGHT. I can't do it alone, though I try my best. Spread the Word, Sing the Chant, Be Right. Tell them all that LEN IS RIGHT.
Be at Peace.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Here at Len Is Right we are always striving to bring you the best in observations of life, sports, religion, food and my beloved sauces, and the world in general. We are always trying to make sure we stay on the cutting edge by bringing you the freshest of topics and giving you insights on how life should be lived, tolerated, and enjoyed as we here at Len Is Right see it.
Given that fact and given that our pledge to you, the faithful reader, is that we will strive to help you along in your search for truth, justice, and sanity in these trying times, Len Is Right will now bring you a New Feature. Starting today, and continuing from now on, Len Is Right will give you the Answers to all questions you may have. That is not to say that Len Is Right is turning into Ask Jeeves. Please read on....
ADVICE FOR ALL!!
That's right folks. Advice for all. This is NOT Dear Abby. I will not pull any punches. I will give you the advice that is needed without concern for feelings. Why? Because if you want the real answers, the real advice, you have to get it the Len Is Right way. And that's what I promise.
I know what you're wondering. What kind of person asks for advice at Len Is Right? Who is your advice for? Those are good questions. And our answer is, we have advice for the love-lorn. Advice for the morally bankrupt. Advice for the wandering of spirit. Advice for the confused. Advice for the stupid. Advice for the curious. If you need advice we have your answer. We'll tell you how to find the right mate. We'll tell you how to find the right job, how to deal with difficult people, and who to bribe when the chips are down. We'll tell you how much to tip, what cold medicines are best, and as you well know, what sauces to try. Which car to buy, which shoes to accessorize with, which style of condom to use, why teaching is the most important profession, which Running Back to start on your fantasy team, the pros and cons of charcoal and gas when grilling, and why you should NEVER, EVER say to a woman, "Hey lady, who lit the fuse on your tampon?"
C'MON LEN, WHAT'S THE CATCH?
The Catch, and there is a catch people, is that I require your participation. I can't answer questions and give advice if you're not willing to join the fray. So far, the only person who has left comments is the Edge Of Darkness. While this mirrors our Fantasy Football League (where I am the Commissioner), it would behoove others to write in. You can easily be a part of the LEN IS RIGHT community by just clicking on the Leave Comment button at the end of each fresh blog. I will then address your question in the next blog. If you are reluctant to leave your real name, give yourself an alias, like the Edge of Darkness, or Born To Eat Toast, or even Breaks Wind At Formal Dinners. Or, if you prefer, you can email me at inextools@hotpop.com
All we are asking is that you give Len Is Right a chance to prove two things. We can come up with an answer for any question, and that YOU are smart because you know that LEN IS RIGHT.
So, there it is. My challenge and cordial invitation to you. And please, please, please pass the site address on to your ENTIRE address list. Because, how can the world be made right if it doesn't know that Len Is Right? This act of selflessness will bring many thanks from ALL the people in your life when they realize that it was you that hooked them up with LEN IS RIGHT.
THE MOVEMENT TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT HAS BEGUN
...and you, my friends, are at the forefront. Accept the role of Pioneer. Realize the true greatness that is being thrust upon you. Embrace YOUR rightness. You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Help the world to know that LEN IS RIGHT. I can't do it alone, though I try my best. Spread the Word, Sing the Chant, Be Right. Tell them all that LEN IS RIGHT.
Be at Peace.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Thursday, July 13, 2006
LANDLORDING AND THE ESPN SPORTS AUCTION
Hello everyone:
Thanks for stopping by Len Is Right. You are at the right place to clear your head of murky thoughts. Only clarity here as Len Is Right can only make you an ACCURATE thinker. Today, I'm going to discuss a few things and I'm going to stay as positive as possible, cause I don't want to drag anyone down into depression. Here goes:
LOSER TENANTS AND BEING A LANDLORD
I've owned a 2-family house since 1989. I moved out in 1997, and continued to rent out both halves. In all the time I've owned the house, I've run into all sorts of people. I've had tenants who were great, paid on time, took care of things, treated my house like it was theirs. I've also had tenants who were, for lack of a better term, scumbags. These would be people who were late on the rent every month, didn't mow the lawn or rake the leaves, as agreed to, or just blatantly destroyed stuff before they moved out.
These are some of the things you have to consider if you're going to own an income property. Another thing would be the hassle of finding new tenants. Screening people with a Tenant Questionairre is a must. You must get job info, past landlord info, and whether the prospective tenant likes it or not, bank account info. These days, you can't do enough to protect yourself. If a person is serious and is on the up and up, they won't mind giving you certain information to prove they are sincere and a good risk. It only takes a couple of times of getting burned my losers to learn the lesson.
Presently, I am trying to get rid of one of my tenants. She was an exemplary tenant for almost 1 year. Then, her ex-convict, formerly drunken husband gets out of jail, moves in without informing me and I find out he is very controlling. Now, she has changed and refuses to pay me for the last month's rent, saying she can use her Security Deposit, which violates her lease. My Tenant Agreements (leases) have always been on a month-to-month basis. This means that if one of us needs to make a change, you have to give thirty (30) days notice to the other person. I find this works better than a 1-year lease, because it seems to allow the tenant to lock-in for too long. The quicker that you can get them out, the better. While this may not be by the exact letter-of-the-law, it is usually acceptable to most people. As long as you come up with a plausible reason for them to leave, there is generally not a problem. Some people go out of their way to fight it. At that point you need to go through the expensive and time-consuming Eviction process. This is a pain in the butt, and usually gives them time to destroy your house. Once you get the police to show up, it ends quickly, but who wants to go through that? Now I have to decide whether to have the police remove her, or deal with her after she moves out in Small-Claims court and attempt to go on a campaign to sully her name at her workplace and anyplace else publicly where I can embarass her by telling people how she really is, OR I can take the High Road and chalk it up to experience and eat it. This is probably the way I'll go, because I can't let my life degenerate into those kinds of actions. If the apartment is left in bad shape or destroyed in any way, I'll just take her to court, and then have her husband sent back to jail for destruction of property.
Thus, it behooves you to do your homework beforehand when screening, although that's not a certainty because people can change and become losers overnight. Enough about that. On to something else.
THE ESPN JIMMY V AUCTION
Yesterday (July 12), ESPN held the 2nd annual Sports auction to benefit the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. The items auctioned off were autographed sports items (footballs, helmets, jerseys, etc...) and awesome sports-themed experiences (tickets, tours, and meet and greets to Monday Night Football games, College football games, etc...). Most of these items were very high priced ($250-$25,000). However, you could just make a small donation to help the cause. All day on ESPN Radio the different programs were centered around the items and the cause. One of the things they said was that each and every one of us either has had cancer, has a family member, or has a friend or acquaintance who has been affected by cancer.
During the day, the hosts played a couple of clips from the famous goodbye speech made by Jim Valvano before he died. In it, he said that there are 3 things each of us should make sure to do every day. One, Laugh. We should all laugh each day. Two, Think. We should all spend some time in thought each day. Give yourself a few quiet minutes out of your busy day to spend in quiet thought. It doesn't matter what you think about. Love, life, business, spirituality, sports, likes, dislikes, friends, whatever. And finally, we should each allow our emotions to be moved to tears everyday. Laugh, Think, and Cry once per day. He said if you do that, you will surely experience a full life. In short, take the time to taste life and experience true feelings. For, what is life if you go through cold, bitter, and unaware? It is a waste.
Many of the hosts took calls from people who had been affected by cancer in certain ways, and were helped by charity, or friends and family, etc... A couple of times, the hosts went completely quiet on air as they tried to reign-in their own emotions, sometimes unsuccessfully. One took the time to apologize about it. But as I listened, I felt that he was only showing a human side. Too many times I've wondered how some radio and TV newsmen manage to not tear-up or even break down in tears over heartbreaking stories (certain 9-1-1 stories come to mind) that they report. It's a job that I don't know if I could do.
If you'd like to make a donation to the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research, just dial
1-800-4-JIMMY-V.
KEEP LIVING THAT LIFE
Thanks to all of you who make a positive difference in the lives of friends, family and those around you. Continue to experience your total range of emotions. Take a little time each day to remember someone close to you who has left the earth. Taste life. You only get one. Don't waste your time wallowing in despair, sorrow, hate, anger, and spite. Life on Earth is too short. Make a donation to charity once in a while. Experiment with food when you cook. Try to have fun with everything you do. Squeeze the juice out of the fruit of life. It's full and you can never deplete it, till it's time to go. And even then it rejuvenates for those still left alive. Get your piece, drink that juice, taste that LIFE, baby!!!
Why should you do this? BECAUSE LEN IS RIGHT!!!!!!
But you knew that.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Thanks for stopping by Len Is Right. You are at the right place to clear your head of murky thoughts. Only clarity here as Len Is Right can only make you an ACCURATE thinker. Today, I'm going to discuss a few things and I'm going to stay as positive as possible, cause I don't want to drag anyone down into depression. Here goes:
LOSER TENANTS AND BEING A LANDLORD
I've owned a 2-family house since 1989. I moved out in 1997, and continued to rent out both halves. In all the time I've owned the house, I've run into all sorts of people. I've had tenants who were great, paid on time, took care of things, treated my house like it was theirs. I've also had tenants who were, for lack of a better term, scumbags. These would be people who were late on the rent every month, didn't mow the lawn or rake the leaves, as agreed to, or just blatantly destroyed stuff before they moved out.
These are some of the things you have to consider if you're going to own an income property. Another thing would be the hassle of finding new tenants. Screening people with a Tenant Questionairre is a must. You must get job info, past landlord info, and whether the prospective tenant likes it or not, bank account info. These days, you can't do enough to protect yourself. If a person is serious and is on the up and up, they won't mind giving you certain information to prove they are sincere and a good risk. It only takes a couple of times of getting burned my losers to learn the lesson.
Presently, I am trying to get rid of one of my tenants. She was an exemplary tenant for almost 1 year. Then, her ex-convict, formerly drunken husband gets out of jail, moves in without informing me and I find out he is very controlling. Now, she has changed and refuses to pay me for the last month's rent, saying she can use her Security Deposit, which violates her lease. My Tenant Agreements (leases) have always been on a month-to-month basis. This means that if one of us needs to make a change, you have to give thirty (30) days notice to the other person. I find this works better than a 1-year lease, because it seems to allow the tenant to lock-in for too long. The quicker that you can get them out, the better. While this may not be by the exact letter-of-the-law, it is usually acceptable to most people. As long as you come up with a plausible reason for them to leave, there is generally not a problem. Some people go out of their way to fight it. At that point you need to go through the expensive and time-consuming Eviction process. This is a pain in the butt, and usually gives them time to destroy your house. Once you get the police to show up, it ends quickly, but who wants to go through that? Now I have to decide whether to have the police remove her, or deal with her after she moves out in Small-Claims court and attempt to go on a campaign to sully her name at her workplace and anyplace else publicly where I can embarass her by telling people how she really is, OR I can take the High Road and chalk it up to experience and eat it. This is probably the way I'll go, because I can't let my life degenerate into those kinds of actions. If the apartment is left in bad shape or destroyed in any way, I'll just take her to court, and then have her husband sent back to jail for destruction of property.
Thus, it behooves you to do your homework beforehand when screening, although that's not a certainty because people can change and become losers overnight. Enough about that. On to something else.
THE ESPN JIMMY V AUCTION
Yesterday (July 12), ESPN held the 2nd annual Sports auction to benefit the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. The items auctioned off were autographed sports items (footballs, helmets, jerseys, etc...) and awesome sports-themed experiences (tickets, tours, and meet and greets to Monday Night Football games, College football games, etc...). Most of these items were very high priced ($250-$25,000). However, you could just make a small donation to help the cause. All day on ESPN Radio the different programs were centered around the items and the cause. One of the things they said was that each and every one of us either has had cancer, has a family member, or has a friend or acquaintance who has been affected by cancer.
During the day, the hosts played a couple of clips from the famous goodbye speech made by Jim Valvano before he died. In it, he said that there are 3 things each of us should make sure to do every day. One, Laugh. We should all laugh each day. Two, Think. We should all spend some time in thought each day. Give yourself a few quiet minutes out of your busy day to spend in quiet thought. It doesn't matter what you think about. Love, life, business, spirituality, sports, likes, dislikes, friends, whatever. And finally, we should each allow our emotions to be moved to tears everyday. Laugh, Think, and Cry once per day. He said if you do that, you will surely experience a full life. In short, take the time to taste life and experience true feelings. For, what is life if you go through cold, bitter, and unaware? It is a waste.
Many of the hosts took calls from people who had been affected by cancer in certain ways, and were helped by charity, or friends and family, etc... A couple of times, the hosts went completely quiet on air as they tried to reign-in their own emotions, sometimes unsuccessfully. One took the time to apologize about it. But as I listened, I felt that he was only showing a human side. Too many times I've wondered how some radio and TV newsmen manage to not tear-up or even break down in tears over heartbreaking stories (certain 9-1-1 stories come to mind) that they report. It's a job that I don't know if I could do.
If you'd like to make a donation to the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research, just dial
1-800-4-JIMMY-V.
KEEP LIVING THAT LIFE
Thanks to all of you who make a positive difference in the lives of friends, family and those around you. Continue to experience your total range of emotions. Take a little time each day to remember someone close to you who has left the earth. Taste life. You only get one. Don't waste your time wallowing in despair, sorrow, hate, anger, and spite. Life on Earth is too short. Make a donation to charity once in a while. Experiment with food when you cook. Try to have fun with everything you do. Squeeze the juice out of the fruit of life. It's full and you can never deplete it, till it's time to go. And even then it rejuvenates for those still left alive. Get your piece, drink that juice, taste that LIFE, baby!!!
Why should you do this? BECAUSE LEN IS RIGHT!!!!!!
But you knew that.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
RAINMAN, POKER, AND FUNERALS
What to talk about today? Several topics to whet the appetite, to be sure. First off, one of the weekend acivities and then we'll move on to a couple of other topics I've been thinking about.
RAINMAN AND THE DAYTONA AVE. POKER SHOWDOWN
This past Saturday, I attended the Daytona Ave. Summer Poker Showdown. I usually run this event, but this year the host, Big Ed, decided to take the reigns, allowing me to concentrate on my game and not be distracted by the logistical duties that go into running a tourney.
Many of the Usual Suspects were there. Myself, Big Ed, Little Ed, Fred, Roy the G.B. King, Kevin who lives lucky, and Pete the Rainman. Missing were DVK, Rob L., Ken King, Chuck the Edge of Darkness, and DotCom Destroyer.
I hadn't been in a tourney in a while. There were only 23 players, but a very competitive, very experienced group. My play was solid all day as I watched the Eds, then Fred, then Kev all get eliminated. Roy and I found ourselves sitting at the Final Table before long. I was fairly short stacked, but made a couple of huge moves and found myself close to the chip lead. One guy was knocked out and we were down to 8, when I had my first and only brain-fart of the day. I held K-Q suited in my hand and the flop comes up Q-4-9. The guy on my right me bets $3000. I go over the top of him and go All-In for $13,700. Before I can get the words "All-In" completely out of my mouth, I hear to my left, "All-In" from the voice of Rainman. I hadn't noticed that he was still holding cards. The original bettor now folds and I know I'm in trouble cause Rainman is such a crappy player, but with big-time luck, that I know he doesn't make this move w/o something. I'm right, and he turns over his Pocket 4's to make 3-of-a-kind and absolutely DECIMATES my stack. Now I'm the short stack and there's still 8 players left.
At this point I go into shutdown mode and proceed to fold and grind for 2 hours. With 6 players left, 2 of them with larger stacks than myself go All-In and Rainman calls. He knocks them both out on the same hand and now we are down to 4. I'm very happy because they are only paying 4 spots and one of the other guys is Roy. Because of where we are seated, everytime Roy deals, I am in the Big Blind. 7 straight times that Roy deals, I double up my stack (not alot), and am able to fold, UNTIL.....I, of course, get called by Rainman on an All-In and get knocked out in 4th place. Roy holds on for a few more hands to get 3rd. Raiman and the other guy play Heads-Up for the next 2 hours and Rainman finally takes him down to win his second tournament in his last 3 tries. Does he win by luck or skill? Definitely more luck, though I think his overall game has improved. I figure if I don't have the brain fart and stay within myself, things turn out differently. But who can say for sure? Maybe there was a bigger brain fart down the road and things turned out the best that they could have. Roy and I still have no plaques, while Pete the Rainman has 2. What does this tell us? I guess Roy and I are saps.
FUNERALS
Just a little opinion piece on funerals and a choice. The choice offered is either traditional casket and burial, or cremation. Here is my thinking on this. From a grief and mourning standpoint, the casket/burial method is best. You can actually see the person and seeing allows you to realize the finality of the situation. You can really get in touch with your grief when you see the body of a loved one. And in my opinion, that is the ONLY REASON to go for the casket/burial method. Folks, for many reasons, some of which I'll discuss, cremation is a FAR BETTER, more responsible choice of dealing with the remains of the departed.
First, it's ALOT cheaper. $1500-$2000 for cremation, as opposed to the price of a new car, in many instances, for the traditional method. Next, land space. Do we really need to devote more of our precious land space in this country to burying the dead? Eventually, generations down the road, we'll need the space, and people don't want to have to dig up graveyards at that point. Next, it helps the environment. Ashes biodegrade quickly, or are very easily stored at home in a small space.
I'm sure the casket manufacturerers will want my head for this, but it just makes more sense. What is the point of boxing and burying bodies? It does no one any good. It's not like we're going to use them again. We smartly harvest organs for transplant now. Why keep a carcass? The funeral industry, with the help of many organized religions, has been bilking mankind for centuries. What a scam. "Hey Jim, I've got a great idea. When people die, we'll sell their families a box for $5000. Then we'll get a law made that the box has to be put inside ANOTHER, heavier box for $3000. Then....get this...we'll sell them a 8x4x7 foot piece of land to bury the boxes in for another $1500. Then...are you ready?...we'll sell them a carved marble stone to mark the place where the box is buried, so they don't forget. Plus, we can charge them another grand or two to perform this service and say a few "prayers." I figure, anyone who dies, we can make anywhere from $7500-$20,000. People are dying EVERYDAY!!! We are going to CLEAN UP!! HA! HA! HA! HA!"
Folks, I believe, as time goes on, that it is our moral responsibility to cremate our dead. Please be real...they can't feel the flames. It's the smart choice...it's the moral choice...it's the right choice. If you really care about the Earth. If you really want to honor your departed loved ones. If you want to prove again that Len Is Right, you'll make this change in your thinking and embrace cremation. I'd love to hear your opinion. don't be afraid to leave a comment.
THE ALL-STAR GAME'S HOME RUN DERBY
Though it's fun to watch the 1st Round, I believe Major League Baseball's Home Run Derby at the All-Star Game should be done away with, or at least be changed. Why? I think it messes some of the competitors up as the season progresses. Guys that were swinging the bat well during the first half of the season, adopt a Home Run swing for the Derby. Then when they get back to the real games after the Mid-Summer Classic, they spend a couple of weeks trying to get their normal swings back. I don't think it's worth it
So how would I change it? I'd like to see a pitchers-only Home Run Derby. Or one for guys who are hitting below the Mendoza line (.200). Or how about a Home Run derby for bullpen catchers only? Because I'm telling you, if David Wright gets messed up in the 2nd Half, and it costs the Mets a playoff spot, or a World Series appearance cause he goes in the tank, I'm going to spit all the way to the Commissioner's Office.
There must be some other skills competition they can come up with besides the Power Show. Do a pitcher's Home Run Derby and maybe Throwing Acurately From the Outfield thing, along with a Run-The-Bases/Pickle competition. Everyone has fun and no one gets screwed up for the all-important 2nd-half pennant chase.
This is the way to do it folks, and you all know it because, as usual, LEN IS RIGHT
I am,
Len Tollerton
RAINMAN AND THE DAYTONA AVE. POKER SHOWDOWN
This past Saturday, I attended the Daytona Ave. Summer Poker Showdown. I usually run this event, but this year the host, Big Ed, decided to take the reigns, allowing me to concentrate on my game and not be distracted by the logistical duties that go into running a tourney.
Many of the Usual Suspects were there. Myself, Big Ed, Little Ed, Fred, Roy the G.B. King, Kevin who lives lucky, and Pete the Rainman. Missing were DVK, Rob L., Ken King, Chuck the Edge of Darkness, and DotCom Destroyer.
I hadn't been in a tourney in a while. There were only 23 players, but a very competitive, very experienced group. My play was solid all day as I watched the Eds, then Fred, then Kev all get eliminated. Roy and I found ourselves sitting at the Final Table before long. I was fairly short stacked, but made a couple of huge moves and found myself close to the chip lead. One guy was knocked out and we were down to 8, when I had my first and only brain-fart of the day. I held K-Q suited in my hand and the flop comes up Q-4-9. The guy on my right me bets $3000. I go over the top of him and go All-In for $13,700. Before I can get the words "All-In" completely out of my mouth, I hear to my left, "All-In" from the voice of Rainman. I hadn't noticed that he was still holding cards. The original bettor now folds and I know I'm in trouble cause Rainman is such a crappy player, but with big-time luck, that I know he doesn't make this move w/o something. I'm right, and he turns over his Pocket 4's to make 3-of-a-kind and absolutely DECIMATES my stack. Now I'm the short stack and there's still 8 players left.
At this point I go into shutdown mode and proceed to fold and grind for 2 hours. With 6 players left, 2 of them with larger stacks than myself go All-In and Rainman calls. He knocks them both out on the same hand and now we are down to 4. I'm very happy because they are only paying 4 spots and one of the other guys is Roy. Because of where we are seated, everytime Roy deals, I am in the Big Blind. 7 straight times that Roy deals, I double up my stack (not alot), and am able to fold, UNTIL.....I, of course, get called by Rainman on an All-In and get knocked out in 4th place. Roy holds on for a few more hands to get 3rd. Raiman and the other guy play Heads-Up for the next 2 hours and Rainman finally takes him down to win his second tournament in his last 3 tries. Does he win by luck or skill? Definitely more luck, though I think his overall game has improved. I figure if I don't have the brain fart and stay within myself, things turn out differently. But who can say for sure? Maybe there was a bigger brain fart down the road and things turned out the best that they could have. Roy and I still have no plaques, while Pete the Rainman has 2. What does this tell us? I guess Roy and I are saps.
FUNERALS
Just a little opinion piece on funerals and a choice. The choice offered is either traditional casket and burial, or cremation. Here is my thinking on this. From a grief and mourning standpoint, the casket/burial method is best. You can actually see the person and seeing allows you to realize the finality of the situation. You can really get in touch with your grief when you see the body of a loved one. And in my opinion, that is the ONLY REASON to go for the casket/burial method. Folks, for many reasons, some of which I'll discuss, cremation is a FAR BETTER, more responsible choice of dealing with the remains of the departed.
First, it's ALOT cheaper. $1500-$2000 for cremation, as opposed to the price of a new car, in many instances, for the traditional method. Next, land space. Do we really need to devote more of our precious land space in this country to burying the dead? Eventually, generations down the road, we'll need the space, and people don't want to have to dig up graveyards at that point. Next, it helps the environment. Ashes biodegrade quickly, or are very easily stored at home in a small space.
I'm sure the casket manufacturerers will want my head for this, but it just makes more sense. What is the point of boxing and burying bodies? It does no one any good. It's not like we're going to use them again. We smartly harvest organs for transplant now. Why keep a carcass? The funeral industry, with the help of many organized religions, has been bilking mankind for centuries. What a scam. "Hey Jim, I've got a great idea. When people die, we'll sell their families a box for $5000. Then we'll get a law made that the box has to be put inside ANOTHER, heavier box for $3000. Then....get this...we'll sell them a 8x4x7 foot piece of land to bury the boxes in for another $1500. Then...are you ready?...we'll sell them a carved marble stone to mark the place where the box is buried, so they don't forget. Plus, we can charge them another grand or two to perform this service and say a few "prayers." I figure, anyone who dies, we can make anywhere from $7500-$20,000. People are dying EVERYDAY!!! We are going to CLEAN UP!! HA! HA! HA! HA!"
Folks, I believe, as time goes on, that it is our moral responsibility to cremate our dead. Please be real...they can't feel the flames. It's the smart choice...it's the moral choice...it's the right choice. If you really care about the Earth. If you really want to honor your departed loved ones. If you want to prove again that Len Is Right, you'll make this change in your thinking and embrace cremation. I'd love to hear your opinion. don't be afraid to leave a comment.
THE ALL-STAR GAME'S HOME RUN DERBY
Though it's fun to watch the 1st Round, I believe Major League Baseball's Home Run Derby at the All-Star Game should be done away with, or at least be changed. Why? I think it messes some of the competitors up as the season progresses. Guys that were swinging the bat well during the first half of the season, adopt a Home Run swing for the Derby. Then when they get back to the real games after the Mid-Summer Classic, they spend a couple of weeks trying to get their normal swings back. I don't think it's worth it
So how would I change it? I'd like to see a pitchers-only Home Run Derby. Or one for guys who are hitting below the Mendoza line (.200). Or how about a Home Run derby for bullpen catchers only? Because I'm telling you, if David Wright gets messed up in the 2nd Half, and it costs the Mets a playoff spot, or a World Series appearance cause he goes in the tank, I'm going to spit all the way to the Commissioner's Office.
There must be some other skills competition they can come up with besides the Power Show. Do a pitcher's Home Run Derby and maybe Throwing Acurately From the Outfield thing, along with a Run-The-Bases/Pickle competition. Everyone has fun and no one gets screwed up for the all-important 2nd-half pennant chase.
This is the way to do it folks, and you all know it because, as usual, LEN IS RIGHT
I am,
Len Tollerton
Saturday, July 08, 2006
YOU CAN DO IT!
Hey now!
Today, I'm going to write about motivation. I think that most of the time we are fairly happy in our lives and the choices we've made. Perhaps not. It's very possible that some of us are unhappy with our lives and have no idea how to get out of the ruts that we are in. Who knows? But today I have a message of hope to impart to you and a tip or two to positively move on. And trust me, no New Age guru bullcrap. Just some practical thoughts.
THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT
Recently, I've been reading some business books in order to change my way of thinking and hopefully get me to a place where I could leave America's railroad. Many of us, including myself, go through life wondering why our lives are not what we expect them to be. We get dissatisfied with our jobs, our personal relationships, our place in the world. We wonder who is to blame for our present situation and, at times, adopt a "Oh, Woe is me" attitude, which can lead to despair or apathy.
The Law of Cause and Effect states: Everything happens for a reason. For every effect there is a specific cause. Do not misunderstand this. It is not a New-Agey power of the universe thing. It is not the "God has a reason for everything" answer. It's about you (or us). We, individually, are the cause of things that happen in our lives. The way you think about things or view certain situations affect the outcome and many times determine the effects of things around you. Essentially, you create your entire world by the way you think.
What does this drivel mean? It means that when you set your mind to viewing things in a positive way, and expect good things and outcomes, they will generally turn out in a positive way. When you go through life with an upbeat, positive air about you, people get drawn to you and take confidence in having you around. This increases your confidence in yourself, because you believe you can accomplish anything. People that go through life bitter, fearful, and pessimistic, generally end up getting what they think. Disappointment. True, you at least don't get negative surprises when you are pessimistic.
HOW DO WE GO ABOUT STAYING POSITIVE?
Very simply, we must find a way to change our thinking. This can be as easy or as difficult as you want it to be. One way is NOT to "pre-judge." You must try not to go into life's situations with any pre-conceived notions. Keeping an open mind is the only way to successfully deal with the things that happen. Whether it's our love lives, our careers, or our recreational activities, we have to be open to deal positively with the things that go in in all situations.
Wallowing in self-pity accomplishes nothing. That may sound cliche', but really, it is a strong truth. Hey, we're all human, and we don't have to like or accept the bad or unfortunate things that happen in our lives. So, go ahead and give yourself 5 minutes to hate, despair, feel pity, cry, whatever. Then it's time to "hike up your pants" and get busy with a solution. The sooner you start working on a positive path, or solution, the sooner you can successfully move on with your life. Don't believe me? Why don't you test it out. The next time some unfortunate thing happens in your life, give yourself the 5 minutes to be miserable. Then come back to reality and start looking at positive ways to handle what's going on. Do not dwell on the self-limiting thoughts. Self-limiting thoughts act like brakes, stopping you in your tracks every time. Get rid of self-doubt and fear. The sooner you work towards a solution the better.
Confucius said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." You've got to start someplace. And only YOU can make the start. There comes a time that we have to stop relying on others and take the helm of responsibility and rely on ourselves for success. It's time to reject ANY limiting thoughts, whether from other people or from inside ourselves. If someone gives you an answer of "No," you must continue to move on till you find the answer "Yes." By beginning to expect the best and expect positives, I believe we can all achieve what we set out to do.
Remember, there is only one thing in life that you can actually control. And that one thing is the way that you think. You, yourself, are in control of the way you think. And it is the way we think that determines how successful we are in our life's situations. "Yes I Can," Yes We Will," or "I probably can't," "We probably won't." Whichever path you choose, is the end you'll get. I honestly believe that. And although it doesn't always seem as cut and dried as that. We can each make it that cut and dried. Like Nike's ad says, "Just Do It." Do our sports heroes, or our successful business moguls, or award-winning actors think they can't accomplish a certain task? The athlete wins a championship because they believe they can. The businessman is successful because he believes he can close the deal. The actor wins an Oscar because he/she believed in the role and immersed themself into and bought-into the role they were playing. Did someone else do these tasks for them? No, they took it on themselves, believed in the work and accomplished the task.
Only by taking it on, having belief in ourselves and adopting a positive mind-set can we all be successful in our lives. Get rid of the self-doubt. Get rid of the limiting fear. Get rid of the apathy and woe. It's all inside of you. You can do it AND you know it. How do we know it?
BECAUSE LEN IS RIGHT, of course.
You've taken the first step to success and happiness.....you are here reading Len Is Right. That makes You right. See?.....You can do it. You already are.
In future posts, I will talk about goal setting and staying motivated. And you'll be here to read it, my friends. Why? Because you are smart and only smart people hang out at LEN IS RIGHT.
Be at peace.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Today, I'm going to write about motivation. I think that most of the time we are fairly happy in our lives and the choices we've made. Perhaps not. It's very possible that some of us are unhappy with our lives and have no idea how to get out of the ruts that we are in. Who knows? But today I have a message of hope to impart to you and a tip or two to positively move on. And trust me, no New Age guru bullcrap. Just some practical thoughts.
THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT
Recently, I've been reading some business books in order to change my way of thinking and hopefully get me to a place where I could leave America's railroad. Many of us, including myself, go through life wondering why our lives are not what we expect them to be. We get dissatisfied with our jobs, our personal relationships, our place in the world. We wonder who is to blame for our present situation and, at times, adopt a "Oh, Woe is me" attitude, which can lead to despair or apathy.
The Law of Cause and Effect states: Everything happens for a reason. For every effect there is a specific cause. Do not misunderstand this. It is not a New-Agey power of the universe thing. It is not the "God has a reason for everything" answer. It's about you (or us). We, individually, are the cause of things that happen in our lives. The way you think about things or view certain situations affect the outcome and many times determine the effects of things around you. Essentially, you create your entire world by the way you think.
What does this drivel mean? It means that when you set your mind to viewing things in a positive way, and expect good things and outcomes, they will generally turn out in a positive way. When you go through life with an upbeat, positive air about you, people get drawn to you and take confidence in having you around. This increases your confidence in yourself, because you believe you can accomplish anything. People that go through life bitter, fearful, and pessimistic, generally end up getting what they think. Disappointment. True, you at least don't get negative surprises when you are pessimistic.
HOW DO WE GO ABOUT STAYING POSITIVE?
Very simply, we must find a way to change our thinking. This can be as easy or as difficult as you want it to be. One way is NOT to "pre-judge." You must try not to go into life's situations with any pre-conceived notions. Keeping an open mind is the only way to successfully deal with the things that happen. Whether it's our love lives, our careers, or our recreational activities, we have to be open to deal positively with the things that go in in all situations.
Wallowing in self-pity accomplishes nothing. That may sound cliche', but really, it is a strong truth. Hey, we're all human, and we don't have to like or accept the bad or unfortunate things that happen in our lives. So, go ahead and give yourself 5 minutes to hate, despair, feel pity, cry, whatever. Then it's time to "hike up your pants" and get busy with a solution. The sooner you start working on a positive path, or solution, the sooner you can successfully move on with your life. Don't believe me? Why don't you test it out. The next time some unfortunate thing happens in your life, give yourself the 5 minutes to be miserable. Then come back to reality and start looking at positive ways to handle what's going on. Do not dwell on the self-limiting thoughts. Self-limiting thoughts act like brakes, stopping you in your tracks every time. Get rid of self-doubt and fear. The sooner you work towards a solution the better.
Confucius said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." You've got to start someplace. And only YOU can make the start. There comes a time that we have to stop relying on others and take the helm of responsibility and rely on ourselves for success. It's time to reject ANY limiting thoughts, whether from other people or from inside ourselves. If someone gives you an answer of "No," you must continue to move on till you find the answer "Yes." By beginning to expect the best and expect positives, I believe we can all achieve what we set out to do.
Remember, there is only one thing in life that you can actually control. And that one thing is the way that you think. You, yourself, are in control of the way you think. And it is the way we think that determines how successful we are in our life's situations. "Yes I Can," Yes We Will," or "I probably can't," "We probably won't." Whichever path you choose, is the end you'll get. I honestly believe that. And although it doesn't always seem as cut and dried as that. We can each make it that cut and dried. Like Nike's ad says, "Just Do It." Do our sports heroes, or our successful business moguls, or award-winning actors think they can't accomplish a certain task? The athlete wins a championship because they believe they can. The businessman is successful because he believes he can close the deal. The actor wins an Oscar because he/she believed in the role and immersed themself into and bought-into the role they were playing. Did someone else do these tasks for them? No, they took it on themselves, believed in the work and accomplished the task.
Only by taking it on, having belief in ourselves and adopting a positive mind-set can we all be successful in our lives. Get rid of the self-doubt. Get rid of the limiting fear. Get rid of the apathy and woe. It's all inside of you. You can do it AND you know it. How do we know it?
BECAUSE LEN IS RIGHT, of course.
You've taken the first step to success and happiness.....you are here reading Len Is Right. That makes You right. See?.....You can do it. You already are.
In future posts, I will talk about goal setting and staying motivated. And you'll be here to read it, my friends. Why? Because you are smart and only smart people hang out at LEN IS RIGHT.
Be at peace.
I am,
Len Tollerton
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
VARIOUS TOPICS FOR TODAY
Hello everyone:
Today I'm going to jump around a bit, kind of like a kid with ADD, because I wanted to post but didn't have a rant. Here goes. And by the way, if you read this, please leave comments. It's the only way I know you're out there. You ARE out there aren't you?
TOPIC ONE---FLOODING
You read that right, my friends. I bring up flooding, because for the 5th time since 1989, a house I own in Waterford, NY got flooded out. This time the flooding occurred after a few days of HEAVY rain. This affected Upstate NY all the way down through parts of Pennsylvania. This flood could be categorized as "normal" because only the basement got filled. Luckilly, no water got up into the 1st floor. Since the basement was empty, except for the Hot Water tanks and Boilers for heating (this is a 2-family house), there was no considerable damage. We've changed the 2 HW tanks, so the tenants could take showers. Fortunately, there is no need for heat right now, so I can take the time to get a contractor in to service the boilers.
There are a couple of things about flooding that you should know if you've never experienced it first-hand. The number one thing is that you can't stop the water. You can jack your house up, you can try to build a retaining wall, you can put down many, many sandbags. But you can't stop the water from coming in. It's like eating soup with a fork.
In 1996, we experienced the worst flooding ever. The water rose to the top of our chain-link fence and got 2 feet up into the first floor. We had $35,000 worth of damage and were out of the house for 5 full months as the contractors gutted and rebuilt the whole first floor. What a nightmare. When you see flooding on the National news (like along the Mississippi), you don't really understand what happens, and you can't really feel for the people, unless you've actually been through it. It's wet, messy (the water brings a ton of river silt), and destructive.
TOPIC TWO---FANTASY FOOTBALL
Today I'm going to jump around a bit, kind of like a kid with ADD, because I wanted to post but didn't have a rant. Here goes. And by the way, if you read this, please leave comments. It's the only way I know you're out there. You ARE out there aren't you?
TOPIC ONE---FLOODING
You read that right, my friends. I bring up flooding, because for the 5th time since 1989, a house I own in Waterford, NY got flooded out. This time the flooding occurred after a few days of HEAVY rain. This affected Upstate NY all the way down through parts of Pennsylvania. This flood could be categorized as "normal" because only the basement got filled. Luckilly, no water got up into the 1st floor. Since the basement was empty, except for the Hot Water tanks and Boilers for heating (this is a 2-family house), there was no considerable damage. We've changed the 2 HW tanks, so the tenants could take showers. Fortunately, there is no need for heat right now, so I can take the time to get a contractor in to service the boilers.
There are a couple of things about flooding that you should know if you've never experienced it first-hand. The number one thing is that you can't stop the water. You can jack your house up, you can try to build a retaining wall, you can put down many, many sandbags. But you can't stop the water from coming in. It's like eating soup with a fork.
In 1996, we experienced the worst flooding ever. The water rose to the top of our chain-link fence and got 2 feet up into the first floor. We had $35,000 worth of damage and were out of the house for 5 full months as the contractors gutted and rebuilt the whole first floor. What a nightmare. When you see flooding on the National news (like along the Mississippi), you don't really understand what happens, and you can't really feel for the people, unless you've actually been through it. It's wet, messy (the water brings a ton of river silt), and destructive.
TOPIC TWO---FANTASY FOOTBALL
Here are my picks for the first Round of players that should be taken in any Fantasy Football draft. The first 3 guys are no-brainers. After that it's hit-and-miss. These picks are for a 12-team league with a Combinational Scoring system. The picks are as follows:
- 1. Shaun Alexander--SEA--RB--Proven commodity. Good team. 15 TD's per yr./5 straight years. Scored 27 last year.
- 2 . Larry Johnson--KC--RB--Great rookie season. Should be able to build on it. A stud.
- 3. LaDanian Tomlinson--SD--RB--Runs, throws, scores. The only drawback and question is his new untested QB. Will Defenses key on LT2?
- 4. Clinton Portis--WAS--RB--The Redskins may be ready to make a serious run. Could this be Portis' year to become the NFL's #1?
- 5. Peyton Manning--IND--QB--Always a first Round pick because of his prolific arm. Great offensive scheme. Experts believe rookie RB will not cause the Colts to lose a step. We'll see.
- 6. Tiki Barber--NYG--RB--Like Curtis Martin of a few years ago, this guy just keeps on getting it done. I have trouble pulling the trigger on any Giant, but until he breaks down, you've got to respect him.
- 7. Carnell "Cadillac" Williams--TB--RB--Should be able to build on great rookie season.
- 8. Rudi Johnson--CIN--RB-- Most experts don't like him this high, but with the Bengal offense, there's always scoring chances. He's a consistent performer.
- 9. LaMont Jordan--OAK--RB--Great runner who can score from anywhere. How many scoring chances will Randy Moss take from him? How will Moss' dangerous talents open up opportunities for Jordan?
- 10. Edggerin James--ARI--RB--Rock-solid talent who moves to a new team that now has, what I believe, to be one of the most potent offenses in the NFL. Should be able to contend for a Wild-Card spot if O-Line holds up and QB stays healthy.
- 11. Sleeper First round pick. Ronnie Brown--MIA--RB--No Ricky Williams lurking on the sideline. This is Ronnie's team now. Alot depends on Culpepper's health.
- 12. Domanick Davis--HOU--RB--Why didn't this team draft Reggie Bush? Because they already had a proven scoring machine in their backfield. Will this team be mature enough to win 8 games? I don't know. This guy can score, that's for sure.
All of the picks are dependent on injury-free seasons. Draft at your own risk and good luck.
TOPIC 3--SUMMER CAMP
My older son is going to Volleyball camp for a week and to a Television Production class for a week. My younger son is doing baseball and soccer. I think week-long camps for kids in the summer are a great idea, if you can afford it. It gets them out of bed and active for a couple of weeks during the summer. And if you don't have a pool, boat, or camp, it keeps them away from the TV. I wish they had had sports camps when I was a kid. They only had regular camps and I wasn't into it as much as straight sports. Today, you can find almost any activity.
TOPIC 4--SHOUT OUTS
1. Hugo Kramm--Happy Birthday
2. Jim Bashford--great to talk with you the other day. It's been too long
3. Congress--Thanks for firing the 3-man Board of Directors for Amtrak. Maybe now we can get some money. People bitch about Amtrak, but how would you like to work at a place that hasn't given a raise to it's employees in over 6 years? Our last contract ran out in December of 1999.
4. The Universal Power--for killing Kenneth Lay. Now we don't have to spend any more money on this robbing bastard. I only wish they had let Islamic fundamentalists kidnap him and torture him. He got off easy.
This post is a shell of what it was supposed to have been. I had a nice post written earlier today, but the Blogger engine wouldn't publish it for some reason and then when I save it, it only saved a 3rd of it for me. I can't remember everything I originally wrote, so you've just read the watered-down version.
Live in Peace people. And of course, remember, LEN IS RIGHT
I am Len Tollerton
Monday, July 03, 2006
C'MON METS!!
Greetings all:
What is happening to my NY Mets? A week and a half ago we were riding high after taking 2 out of 3 in Toronto and getting ready to invade Boston and give them a reminder of the 1986 World Series.
3 games later after being swept out like kitchen floor dirt, we were sent to the Stadium to take on the Yanks. After a tough 2-0, 1-hit loss on Friday, the Metropolitans bounced back with an 8-3 trouncing of the Big Unit. Everything looked okay and it seemed like the team was back on track. We jump out to a 4-0 lead against Jaret Wright, and all of a sudden the roof caves in.
An 8-run 3rd, highlighted by an A-Rod grand slam and we lose 16-7 on national TV (ESPN). A couple of glaring deficiencies were brought to the forefront during that game. #1 was that without early-season, rookie sensation Brian Bannister, the Mets are a 2-3 pitcher starting rotation team. Cuban rookie Alay Soler was obviously brought up too soon. It is obvious that he is not ready to pitch in the Big Leagues.
Why? Because he's too scared to actually challenge hitters with his best stuff. He nibbles and tries to get calls on the outside of the plate. When the umpire doesn't call things his way, he ends up walking guys. Then when he actually does come in with a fastball, these professional hitters are sitting on it and crush him. Jorge Posada hit one in the second, A-Rod's slam in the 3rd and a guy with a .077 batting average hit a 2-run shot a few batters later. In between, there were a couple of well-struck doubles to the left field wall. I'm afraid GM Omar Minaya should be saying So-Long to Soler.
To add insult to injury, the Mets lost to the worst team in the NL, the Pittsburgh Pirates, 11-1 tonight. Pedro Martinez was scratched from this start because of an injury, and the Mets had to use another rookie, John Mains, who hasn't really showed anything yet.
The Mets are slumping right now and I'm sure the ship will be righted after the All-Star break. But I think they also got too comfortable with their 10-12-game lead and lost a little of the hunger that is needed to drive you to a title. It's up to Manager Willie Randolph to light a fire under these guys' asses in the second half, or their time in the playoffs (assuming they don't fold) will be extremely short.
COME ON!! LET'S GO METS!!
Of course you know that.....LEN IS RIGHT!!
I am Len Tollerton
Please visit my sponsors links.
What is happening to my NY Mets? A week and a half ago we were riding high after taking 2 out of 3 in Toronto and getting ready to invade Boston and give them a reminder of the 1986 World Series.
3 games later after being swept out like kitchen floor dirt, we were sent to the Stadium to take on the Yanks. After a tough 2-0, 1-hit loss on Friday, the Metropolitans bounced back with an 8-3 trouncing of the Big Unit. Everything looked okay and it seemed like the team was back on track. We jump out to a 4-0 lead against Jaret Wright, and all of a sudden the roof caves in.
An 8-run 3rd, highlighted by an A-Rod grand slam and we lose 16-7 on national TV (ESPN). A couple of glaring deficiencies were brought to the forefront during that game. #1 was that without early-season, rookie sensation Brian Bannister, the Mets are a 2-3 pitcher starting rotation team. Cuban rookie Alay Soler was obviously brought up too soon. It is obvious that he is not ready to pitch in the Big Leagues.
Why? Because he's too scared to actually challenge hitters with his best stuff. He nibbles and tries to get calls on the outside of the plate. When the umpire doesn't call things his way, he ends up walking guys. Then when he actually does come in with a fastball, these professional hitters are sitting on it and crush him. Jorge Posada hit one in the second, A-Rod's slam in the 3rd and a guy with a .077 batting average hit a 2-run shot a few batters later. In between, there were a couple of well-struck doubles to the left field wall. I'm afraid GM Omar Minaya should be saying So-Long to Soler.
To add insult to injury, the Mets lost to the worst team in the NL, the Pittsburgh Pirates, 11-1 tonight. Pedro Martinez was scratched from this start because of an injury, and the Mets had to use another rookie, John Mains, who hasn't really showed anything yet.
The Mets are slumping right now and I'm sure the ship will be righted after the All-Star break. But I think they also got too comfortable with their 10-12-game lead and lost a little of the hunger that is needed to drive you to a title. It's up to Manager Willie Randolph to light a fire under these guys' asses in the second half, or their time in the playoffs (assuming they don't fold) will be extremely short.
COME ON!! LET'S GO METS!!
Of course you know that.....LEN IS RIGHT!!
I am Len Tollerton
Please visit my sponsors links.
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