Sunday, June 29, 2008

EDDIE IZZARD AT RADIO CITY AND GET SMART

Hello minions:
Well, I awake today a little sleepy. The family and I got back from NY City on the train at 2:30 a.m. after seeing comedian/actor Eddie Izzard at Radio City Music Hall. By the time we got into bed, it was about 3:00.

First off, I'd like to say thanks to my friend, Marc Reiter in NYC, for hooking us up with great seats to a Sold Out show. We ended up sitting Center Stage around the 12th Row. My family and I are big fans of Eddie Izzard, because of his previous standup routine, Dressed To Kill, and his roles in Oceans 12 and a bunch of other stuff. He is also currently starring with Minnie Driver on TV's The Riches, in case you don't know who he is. All you need to remember is ,"CAKE OR DEATH!"

Eddie's comedy is actually history-based. What I mean is, he goes through world history and gives his extremely humorous take on the events that have shaped the world. And I'm talking all the way back to the dinosaur age.

Because of a late-departing train, we weren't able to have a proper sit-down dinner when we got to the City. So, we did the tourist hotdogs from a cart and a gyro for me. The walking traffic on this day was very heavy. I mean, there were times when there were a hundred people in an intersection and no one was moving, cause there was no place to go. I heard one native NYer say, "Well, I guess it's tourist season." After the show, the walking traffic was even heavier, because all of the theaters were letting out. (Obviously we were right around Broadway and Times Square, so that's to be expected.) We ended up jumping into cabs in both directions because of the humidity and traffic. Didn't feel like showing up to the show all sweaty.

Anyway...Eddie Izzard was a scream and we all really enjoyed the show. So much so, that at breakfast this morning, we were all quoting lines from Izzard's routine that we remembered. That's how we work it at the Tollerton house.

GET SMART
Alright, whether you were a fan of the TV show, or never ever saw it, I'm going to recommend that you go see Get Smart at the movies. You will laugh your ass off. Steve Carrell and Alan Arkin are both very funny. There was on scene where we could hardly breathe, because we were laughing so hard. The kids liked it alot, too, but I think PT and I enjoyed it more because we were familiar with the original show.

If you're looking for some comedic entertainment this summer, I recommend going to see Get Smart. Very funny and the theater is Air Conditioned. Do this because.............................. LEN IS RIGHT!!

I love ya, America. Be well.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Monday, June 23, 2008

MARY McCORMACK AND THE DEATH OF CARLIN

Hello Minions:
I trust everyone had a great weekend. Today was the last day of school for my kids. They're very happy to be done, obviously. My unnamed spouse and I spent almost $1000 on summer camp activities for them this year. Connor is taking Digital Video production and next week has camp for volleyball in preparation for the JV volleyball season, which starts the end of August.
Jackson is taking song writing "architecture", and bowling. It's better than sitting in the house and video-gaming, so I'm sure it'll be worth it. They've really liked all the camps we've sent them to in the past, so...GAME ON, summer's here!!

MARY McCORMACK
USA Network has a new series called In Plain Sight. It's about the Witness Protection Program and stars Mary McCormack as US Marshall Mary Shannon. The show deals with people getting into the program and then some of their difficulties down the road. Mary Shannon is a tough-talking, no-nonsense Marshall who's personal life is a bit of a roller coaster. Needless to say, she's not perfect and is very cynical. Mary McCormack used to be on The West Wing and played Howard Stern's wife, Allison, in the movie, Private Parts.

Okay...my unnamed spouse is really into Denis Leary, Hugh Laurie (House), and lately, Trace Adkins. Well, for me, Mary McCormack is floating my boat these days. I mean, I just think she is super hot. She does an absolutely great job sporting tight jeans and I think she's drop-dead gorgeous. You can have your Eva Longorias and your Charlize Therons (both lovely women in their own rights). I'm taking Mary McC. And I've heard recent rumors that she has been trying to contact me for the purpose of having my children. Apparently, she's read LEN IS RIGHT, and has given up on the rest of the male population in order to get next to me. And really, who can blame her? With all the cookie-cutter, buffed bodied, non-hairy and non-bald men in the California area, you'd think I wouldn't have a chance. But Lo and Behold, she's willing to risk a scandal and is going to try to steal me from my aforementioned unnamed spouse, now that she's got regular work on television. She knows that I require my wimmins to have their own job. Wish me luck. You'll soon be seeing me on the red carpets around the world as Mary takes me as her date to premieres and parties. We won't stay at the parties long, however, because she just can never wait to get back and get all sweaty with a balding, hairy-bodied love pig. That's where I come in. Don't worry, my unnamed spouse, I'll send money home to you when Mary gets paid. Oh, and did I tell you? This has afforded me the chance to say, "Piss Off!" to Amtrak. If I had only known sooner, I wouldn't have wasted 20-some years on the railroad. Me and Mary McCormack, baby, Top of the World!!!

THE DEATH OF GEORGE CARLIN
In the early 70's my parents' friends and one of my childhood friends had a few of George Carlin's comedy albums. Class Clown and Toledo Window Box were the names of the albums I remember. I was probably a little young to be hearing this kind of stuff. But I couldn't believe how funny George Carlin was. I saw him live, once, in 1980 at the Colonie Colisseum, an old outdoor theater around here, that has since closed.

I will always remember George's comedy changing over the years. As he got older, he became more curmudgeon-like and his humor dealt with, what I believe, were some very practical views on the world and less on ridiculousness. He was one of the first people who publicly showed an atheistic view of the world, and I believe he was one of my first influences towards being agnostic or atheistic. That's NOT a bad thing. He was one of the first people who really made sense to me in that regard. And he did it all with humor.

Our country has taken a couple of big icon hits this last week. First Tim Russert passed and now, George Carlin. And though their religious views couldn't have been any more opposite, I think they both may have been able to be great friends, respecting each other's views and having a big laugh at the end.

I think that would have been one hell of a Meet The Press episode. "This is Meet The Press, and I'm Tim Russert. On today's show, we'll discuss the world and how screwed up it really is. This is Heaven, so we have all the time in the world, so to speak. We'll be speaking with the recently deceased and VERY welcome George Carlin, former Pope John Paul II, the late comedian Bill Hicks, John Lennon, and just for shits and giggles, Adolph Hitler. This promises to be very interesting. This is Meet The Press."

The ratings would skyrocket. I think alot of people would tune in to see the dead having a conversation, don't you? I think Russert would have to be very much on his toes to avoid having a public bitch-slapping happen on his show. But always with a smile.

George, I saw your most recent HBO special and thought it was your best in years. You looked like you were showing your age, but your vitriol was still in high-gear. I and many of the rest of the humans on Planet Earth will miss your slanted take on the world, and your humor. You helped us look at words alot differently, and you helped us all take ourselves a little bit less seriously. It says something for you when you know that people really look forward to seeing you. To hear a roomful of people roaring laughter at your words must be as great as a musician hearing a crowd of people singing along with his/her songs.

Though George and I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, if there is a Heaven, I'm sure God would want to have George around for a few laughs when things got a little serious. Here's hoping that if all that's true, that George can influence God to comedically bring about the demise of some of the world's biggest losers. Like, maybe George could get Osama Bin Laden to croak while having a gay 3-some, while eating a pulled pork sandwich. Or maybe he could get DICK Cheney to meet his demise while buying crack in South Central LA. I could come up with a ton of them, but I'll stop here.

Rest In Peace, George Carlin. And lets remember that LEN IS RIGHT.

I am,
Len Tollerton

Saturday, June 21, 2008

KATHY GRIFFIN AT THE PALACE

Hello there, my friends:
Last night, the bride and I went with the lovely Sansone couple of Rensselaer to the Palace Theater in downtown Albany, to see comedienne Kathy Griffin. I have always loved going to the Palace for shows, especially rock concerts, because it is an older, beautiful place that has really great sound and great views. Since the refurbishing project of a couple of years ago, the old place is really a stunner.

If you know Kathy Griffin (from her standup routines, or her Bravo reality show, My Life On The "D" List, you'll know she is a wicked, acerbic wit that isn't afraid to dish about ALL of the celebrities she comes in contact with. She was famously banned from "The View" on ABC for revealing to an audience that Barbara Walters prefers Astro-Glide personal lubricant to KY Jelly. Needless to say, she doesn't pull any punches.

If you know her work, then you know that most of the crowd that goes to see her is either female or gay (gay and lesbian). We found this out when Ms. Griffin took an impromptu poll during the show and we found out that only about 10% of the audience was actually Straight men. To those men, she surmised that they were at the show purely because their wives or dates promised them a certain sexual favor for escorting them to the show. Sansone and I were pleasantly surprised to find we'd be getting lucky that night, because we had NOT made that bargain with our wives, so luckily there was going to be a bonus. (My apologies to our family members and, most of all, my fahter-in-law for revealing the previous info. Oh yeah, and Patty and Deb, too.)

We began at the Victory Cafe, which is a short walk from the Palace. The place was packed and we couldn't get a table, so we ate appetizers and had cocktails at the bar. During this time, we ran into an incredibly drunk former classmate of mine who we spoke to for a while despite his copiously impaired demeanor. For those of you who went to school with me, I won't name this guy, but will identify him as the Cadet Colonel and Valedictorian of the CBA Class of '81. He has actually become balder than I am. Hey...it can happen!

On our walk to the Palace, Mrs. Sansone, who was wearing fairly sexy heely shoes, re-injured her knee, which has a torn ACL and it was a painful, hobbling, assisted walk the rest of the way. The show was nice, but I expected deeper digs from Ms. Griffin, although I've gotta give her props for having super-fresh material (she had just written stuff earlier in the day about Jamie Lynn Spears and her new baby and Michelle Obama's appearance on "The View." All-in-all it was a good show. The lesbians in the crowd were VERY vocal. I was somewhat surprised at how much some lesbians ACTUALLY look like men. And I mean more manly than ME!! And I'm a hairy guy. So, you do the math.

Afterwords, we made a stop at Applebees in East Greenbush. I enjoyed the show, but what I really enjoyed was hanging out downtown with good friends, good food and drinks, on a beautiful night in Albany. Can't wait for the next time.

NEXT UP: The RUSH concert on July 5th at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center.
ALSO: I HAVE CONCERT TICKETS FOR SALE ON eBay RIGHT NOW.
There are 2 tickets for Rush 7/5/08 at SPAC....2 tickets for Rush at Mohegan Sun on 7/7/08 and 2 tickets for Neil Diamond at Albany's Times Union Center (formerly the Pepsi Arena) for August 20, 2008. My member name is NYCROWN99, so if you see the auctions, you'll know to bid on mine.

As always, please remember that LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

BYE, BYE WILLIE

Minions:
The Mets fired Willie Randolph and two of his coaches last night. I've always liked Willie, but I thought there was some serious fire lacking this year. And while I think the fault lies, ultimately, with the players, I just don't think they've been playing like they were hungry...like in 2006.

I think Billy Wagner was right when he made an offhand comment to the tune of, "Go ask the guys who played the game. Oh, that's right, they already left." I think the Mets probably wouldn't be remiss in firing Omar Minaya, too. I haven't liked the fact that he's been going after, or sticking with, players who are beyond their prime. It's time to make this team young again, and develop the Minor League talent, or trade for guys who are still hungry and in their 20's.

Every once in a while you have to have a shake-up. Maybe this will be the wakeup call for the Mets. Maybe it's time for Fred Theadore to be named as manager. He ceretainly couldn't do any worse than anyone else. (Fred is a friend, if you don't know him already.)

Can we lure Bobby Valentine back from Japan? At least he got ejected from a game for arguing once in a while. JEEEEEEZZZ.

I am,
Len Tollerton

TIM RUSSERT AND JUDGE TOOMEY

My friends:
With this post, I'd like to just throw my two cents in on top of the already heaping pile of adulation and sadness at the death of NBC's Tim Russert.

I only watched Meet The Press once in a while, I must admit. I'm not much of a political guy, so often, the show did not interest me. However, I would like to say that I had alot of respect for Tim Russert because he was always there. He always asked the tough questions, or the ones that NEEDED to be asked. Although I believe that the NBC news department will feel the biggest void at Tim's passing, I think ALL of America should feel a sense of loss. Mr. Russert's passing leaves us without a strong, guiding voice in political news and that's big considering we're in the middle of a Presidential election. NBC's reporting of Mr. Russert's death and the tributes that have followed have been poignant and heartfelt. They've also given us some insight into the man behind the scenes. From these, I've gleaned that our country is much better off having had him in the position he was in, and that we have all, truly, lost someone that mattered to us, even though we might not know it right now. In the coming months and years, I think the fall-out of losing Tim Russert will be felt by all Americans.

So, how do we bounce back from all of this? Who can we look to to step in and try to fill Tim Russert's seat on Meet the Press? Well, we can sit idly by as NBC trots out journalists and talking heads to just fill a chair, but I truly have the answer for you, folks. I happen to know someone who I think could ably fill the bill.

My high school friend, Judge Paul Toomey of Averill Park, NY is my pick for the new host of Meet The Press. Why? Well, let me tell you. I've known Paul since 9th Grade. The first day I met Paul, I was struck by the fact that he already knew what he wanted to do with hs life. He was going to be a lawyer and, hopefully someday, the Mayor of Albany. Paul comes from a long line of lawyers and his sister is also a judge. Paul was the only kid I knew who was into politics in high school. He always used to talk with the teachers about stuff going on in the City of Albany, like he had an inside track or an ear to the wall. I remember the day that my wife and I were able to break the news to Paul that he had passed the NY State bar exam. (We knew someone at the NY State Board of Law Examiners who gave us the early news) Paul set up a table with champagne in his driveway to surprise his wife, Lisa, when she came home from work.

Since then Paul has become the head of the NY State Legal Resource Center (helping other judges in the State make correct decisions), and has become a local judge, himself. While listening to the tributes NBC did on Tim Russert, I was struck by how much his life parallleed Paul's. They both went to Catholic schools and faith played a large part in both of their lives. They were both fiercely devoted to their favorite sports teams (Tim, the Bills and Nationals. Paul, the Packers and the Mets). Their families are the most important things in their lives. They both have deep love of politics. People generally perk up when both enter the room, looking to get in some conversation time or an opinion from someone in the know. Both speak well in public and have both been teachers. I have often been counseled by Paul in any number of topics (legal, family, relationships, etc...) and have often been brought back in from the ledge, so to speak, when my emotions got the best of me and I needed the calming influence of someone who was objective and level-headed. David Gregory of NBC news related a story that when his first son was born, Tim Russert made him a pillow with his name on it, and that was Tim's "signature gift" for all of his friends' newborns. When my first son, Connor was born, Paul called me and told me to appreciate my first 2 weeks with my baby, because he would never be that small again. Looking back, my eyes still well up the same way they did the day he said those words to me. He was right. You can't get time back and we had better all appreciate each passing day. Finally, the guy has always had his finger on the pulse of politics (especially local) during his adult life. People have, it seems to me, always asked for his opinion or help. And although there have been times when he has become easily offended by personal comments, I think he, more than anyone I know, would be perfect in the role of Meet The Press moderator. I also know, without a shadow of doubt, that he is reading this and saying out loud, "Dude, you're fuckin' crazy." Yes, my friend the judge occasionally uses the term "Dude."

So, NBC executives TAKE NOTE!! When looking for an able, politics-loving, sharp replacement for Tim Russert, who, despite his lack of experience as a journalist, would do the same kind of homework and would approach the job with the same zeal as Tim Russert, look no further than Averill Park's own son of Albany, Paul Toomey. No, he is not your typical pretty-faced broadcaster talking head. He is, in my opinion, the PERFECT option for NBC news. And although Paul may think I'm joking around, I am completely serious. Vote For Pedro? No. NBC needs to Vote For Paul.

If you know Paul, please feel free to leave a comment. If you don't know Paul, all you REALLY need to know is, LEN IS RIGHT.

Peace to my people.
I am,
Len Tollerton

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED---BAD DAY FOR G.B.KING

Hey there:
Last post was May 14th. Sorry for the gap. Got a couple of updates and stuff I just wanted to mention real quick.

First, I'd like to wish our very good friend, Fred "The Stat Man" Theadore, a happy birthday today. Fred's home this week taking care of things around the house while his lovely bride recovers from some surgery. So, Fred, make sure you keep busy and walk the damn dog, will ya? Happy Birthday, my friend.

My close friend Roy "G.B. King" Luce is having a very bad day today. First, he calls me this morning to tell me that his brother, Chuck (the previously oft-mentioned Edge of Darkness), won't be able to play in the big scramble golf outing this Friday because he had t go in for EMERGENCY TRIPLE-BYPASS SURGERY this afternoon (he's actually on the table as I type this). I guess he started feeling really crappy over the weekend at the Tulip Festival in Albany, and his wife tricked him into a doctor's appointment. Good thing she did. they started the angioplasty and stopped part-way up his leg and already knew he was in trouble. So, he's on the table today. Chuck doesn't smoke cigs, and doesn't inhale cigars he smokes, so I gotta believe it's mostly dietary. Whatever. Dude, we're pulling for you and sending positive energy your way. If you're home by Thursday night, maybe you can come out to the course and cheer us on. Jeff The Palooka will take Chuck's place on the team. With Jeff and Chris the DotCom Destroyer on our team, Roy and I will only have to drink and enjoy the outdoors on Friday. Get well soon, Chuck my brother.

But that wasn't all that made Roy's day shitty. Roy's 8-year-old dog hasn't been eating over the last week or so. So they took it to the vets and today go the Worst Possible News. Stomach and Liver cancer. The best and least cruel decision was made, and Casey, a beautiful black Lab with 2 surgically repaired knees had to be put down this a.m. What a shame. It came on so fast there was nothing they could do.

So, the Luce family of Scotia, Ballston Spa, and Wilton have had better days. I apologize to the Luce's for posting this info on the WEB. It's the only way some of our friends would find out and they'd want to know. If you have a wy to contact Roy, send him and Chuck some positive thoughts. SEND THE LOVE, MAN!!!

I don't know where to go with this post from here. Everything else is going well. No complaints. I'm having fun with my new Takamine Acoustic Guitar (GS440), which I picked up lightly used, on eBay for 1/2 the price of a new one. Beautiful sound and low action on the strings makes it play a little easier than my Esteban dreadnought acoustic.

Alright, hopefully back soon, when I can think of something to write. Later. This is LEN IS RIGHT.

I am,
Len Tollerton