BURNING HAIR AND THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE

Minions of mine:
Just a couple of subjects today. Haven't been posting for a week, as I had nothing to say. It's funny, cause when I think of something to write, I'm away from the computer. When I'm here, I draw a blank. High? Not always.

BURNING HAIR
Some of you already know about this one, but it's a LEN IS RIGHT classic. Last Sunday morning, around 5 a.m., a train came into the shop without it's toilet dump pipes. They had been knocked off by overzealous carmen who were using a sledgehammer to........anyway, long story short, they were missing and had been broken off at the flange that connects it to the bottom of the train car. For a couple of reasons, I ended up having to try and weld these pipes back onto the car. It was a busy night and trains still needed to come in, so there wasn't alot of time. The bottom of the car had thin or rusted metal to weld to, so I had to be careful. Several blown holes later (you strike an arc and a hole blows immediately, giving you nothing to weld to), as I'm welding in the overhead position, with my welding jacket snapped up, I get 2 pieces of molten metal drop off the work and go down my t-shirt.

Being hairy means things like crumbs and such get caught on their way down. So, the heat starts to set in as these things are just sizzling on me. I'm tearing the welding helmet off, dropping the stinger, and trying to pull my shirt out of my pants so the metal can fall out. That shit is HOT!! Are you getting the picture in your mind? Classic, right? So now, I'm walking around looking like someone put out 2 cigarettes on me. NOT A KLUMSY INJURY. Just Murphy's Law accident. If there's one exposed area, be it paint, water, light, or welding slag, that's where the stuff will go. And then.......

The acrid stench of burning hair and skin starts to waft in the air. MOTHER-PUSS-BUCKET!!! I know some of you have smelled burning hair and skin. It's not like cooking something. Cause I wouldn't eat anything that smelled like that shit. WOW! It later took on a skunk-like quality. I never thought I'd have anything in common with a skunk, but the smell had qualities of fresh skunk. Both of my dogs have been sprayed a total of 8 times. You find out the difference between fresh and hours-old skunk. Hours-old skunk is sour. Fresh skunk is a bitter, charred, putrid, nasty smell. Actually burns your throat. Very effective. Just like when a dog scratches days later, I itched where I was burned and had to scratch, which brought out the smell, if ever so faint, again. Damn, my crackuhs. Nice start to last week.

PRESIDENTIAL RACE
Alright, here's my take. First, the Republicans. Couldn't care less. You've fucked up my world and nation (in my opinion) so bad that I gotta go with the other guys, blind. Sorry Conservatives. Sorry Republicans. I'm sure one of your candidates could do an excellent job and save our country for a while. But I can't even look your way.

So you think that would make it easy. But the other side keeps disappointing me, as does America's response. Hillary keeps flying off the handle under stress. So I'm losing confidence in her. And is it the right time for Obama? And is he the lesser of 2 evils? When Oprah jumped on his ship, it seemed that there was a shift in the polls. I know Oprah carries alot of weight in this country, but should we allow our collective opinion to be swayed by celebrity? It's a given that Oprah's got alot more going for her than , say, most other celebrities, but is she always right? Who is she? Why don't you run for office? I would love it if celebrities just voted in private and kept their opinions out of the Press, like the rest of us. But, it's a different world now. Jeez, the world can read my rantings if they can find them. Should I have influence over a mass of people? I know the SMART minions are nodding and chanting YES!! right now. The rest of you losers don't know what you're missing. I saw on Bill Maher's Real Time that a group of African-American women, in a hair salon, all were for Obama over Hillary. That told me that race, not sex, may decide the Democratic Nominee and, ultimately, the whole election.

Why have we forgotten about John Edwards? It seems that many times the nation has gone for the Popular rather than the correct choice for candidates. I was a fan of Bill Clinton, because NAFTA aside, I thought our country did well when he was in Office. I know I got more than one new contract at Amtrak when he was in Office. I'm still waiting for one from Dubya. Nothing's ratified yet, though we finally have a basic framework.

I think we know that Edwards has no chance. This is a 2-horse race. For me, if the Democrats don't end up doing the expected, and shooting themselves in the foot, then I have to hope whichever qualified candidate gets in can clean up whatever mess has been made and move us forward so we're ahead of the 8-ball.

THE CAMPAIGN
This is the main problem for me. Just hype of another nature. And folks, we're getting hammered all around right now. You like hype? Here's what you're getting hyped at you right now: A Presidential campaign complete with all the trimmings (interviews, speculation, reports, speeches, etc...), the upcoming Super Bowl XLII, the Awards Season (Grammys, Oscars, yada, yada), Valentines Day bombardment, what else? I would have no problem with the campaign if it wasn't all about NEGATIVITY. The biggest snipe hunt in the world.

Hey, esteemed lawyers running for office, can ya do me a favor? Could you please just focus on your objectives? Can you just tell all of us what your plans are going to be and maybe explain how you plan on going about making these plans a reality, so I can make my choice? "I'll give you a National Health policy." "I'll get us out of Iraq." "I'll work more on the Planet." "I'll take care of domestic and border issues." Great. How? And what programs are going to lose money so you'll be able to succeed in these plans?

Which one of these characters do YOU think is going to leave the country in better shape than he/she found it when they took Office? Here's the tough part. How do we take care of our country Domestically, and gain back our respect and status in the eyes of the world? It's a tenuous balancing act that most would be doomed to fail at.

Let's hope we make the right choice. I welcome any comments, as always. Thanks for visiting Len Is Right.

I am,
Len Tollerton

MESSAGE FOR ALL EXCEPT MY MINIONS

HEY!!
CAN YO TRY NOT TO NAVIGATE THE TRAFFIC ROTARY WHILE THE FREAKIN' CELL PHONE IS PRESSED TO YOUR SKULL??!! Jesus, is that too much to ask? This is one of the things that goes on that you wish they'd let you mount gattling guns on you car. You know...if we all got just one day per year where you could temporarily mount guns on your car, don't you think you'd do it? Holy criminy, I'd be on that line faster than shit through a goose. And I'll tell ya, I'd try to be as lenient as possible. But if I see phone-in-skull while going through the circle, I'm shooting you. Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Hey, I only use my signal lights 95-99% of the time, so I'm not perfect. But, what the hell did you people do BEFORE cell phones? Jeez Dude. Hey Honey, it's not that much to get the hands-free setup for your car.

And don't even START with the excuses. LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

NEW NAME FOR JENNIFER TWO-AXE

Minions:
Friend of Len Is Right, Jennifer Two-Axe, who was previously known as She Who Is In Hell, will now be know as JEN CAME. See, things in Jen's life are coming around, and she asked for a new name. So, I thought it could be Jen Coming Around. But I thought it would be more hopeful if we just cut to the chase, helping Jen to believe in herself and just "act" as if she was already there. So Jen's new name on the blog is "JEN CAME "

Make of that what you will.
LT

DO AGE AND WISDOM BRING COMPASSION?

Hey, you people:
Today, I ask a question that I have been pondering off and on for a few years. As we get older, and we gain wisdom, do we also gain compassion that we may not have had in our youth?

Wow, that's kind of deep, isn't it? Not your normal fare for this site. Anyway...it's easy, to me, to be able to understand why we gain wisdom with age. Alot of it has to do with making mistakes and learning from your errors. So, I believe that wisdom is learned. Oh sure, you may gain insight and forethought. But do you, or can you, learn FEEL?

What I mean is, can a person LEARN to become compassionate towards others? I'll get to the point with an example. Go back to your High School days and think about the kids who were the nerds, geeks, dweebs, outcasts, afterthoughts, and nobodies. Were you one of those kids? Were you one of the people that picked on those kids? Think about that person now. If you don't see them often, do you know how they turned out? Did they excel in their life after being freed from the hellish bonds that WERE High School? Or did they remain the enigma, oddity, or outcast they were influenced to be in their youth?

I know that kids are kids. I also know that the kids that were picked on had humility and compassion, because that's generally what they were hoping to receive from others. Or just to be left alone. True, also, is the fact that the kids who were the ones dishing it out generally had little or no compassion, because they were able to pick on an easy target.

SO, NOW WHAT?
Well, earlier a name came up that I remembered from High School, of a kid was kind of an outcast during those years. This led me to think about some other kids I had known from 5th Grade till the end of High School that were in the same boat. Also, I thought about my own kid. My older son is in the "nerdy-video game-non athletic-geeky" vein. Happily, he has a good bunch of friends that he hangs out with in school that are the same. Back in November, he had a couple of instances in school that he was disciplined for, that stemmed from getting picked on by other kids for being "different." I think back and remember how I was in BOTH groups at different times. I got picked on, and I was one of the kids doing the teasing.

My wife and I talk about kids we went to school with (we've known each other since 7th Grade), that were the outcasts, and sometimes wonder about them. You find yourself saying, "Hey, remember crazy Joe Public?", or, "Do you remember the day we made Fiona Whatshername cry?" So, I gotta ask ya, how do you think you would feel if you knew people remembered you for ONLY that? "Remember Billy? He always smelled like mildew. Do you think he ever started showering regularly?" Then you find out years later that the kid's home life was terrible, he was neglected, or his family was dirt poor and couldn't afford soap. And you KNOW it will always follow that person. I know 2 guys who were accused of molesting cats when they were younger. Not kidding. The one guy went through the rest of the years I knew him, referred to as "Cat Man." Now, if the guy goes to his High School Reunion, some asshole is going to call him that to his face, or behind his back, before the night is through.

So where and when does compassion come? The funny thing is, is that if you're not the target of this stuff, there can be some good comedy to come out of it. Just in aside comments alone. I mean, some of the funniest shit I've seen or heard has been at someone else's expense, be it slapstick comedy, stand-up, or just live--hanging out with your friends.

No doubt, we all have to grow thicker skins as we get older. If you let the same stuff bother you 20 years from now, you haven't learned the lesson, or learned how to cope. But where does compassion come in? I guess you have to learn it, just like wisdom. But it, too, has to come with hard knocks. I think you have to be on the short end of the stick a few times, or many times, to see how it feels to be the outcast. I know guys that have NEVER been in that position. Always been popular, never had consistent setbacks, lived fortunate lives. I know guys that have been bullies all their lives and have never had to deal with the opposite. I think the lesson is lost on these folks and I wonder if they'll EVER get it.

To the people I've been a jerk to, I hope I've redeemed myself since then. If not, I hope to, one day. To those that picked on me, hey, fuck off!! No, I'm kidding. It took me getting picked on to be able to laugh at myself and grow a thicker skin. Because, I think we all know that if you can laugh at yourself, you can make it through any situation.

Did you actually stay and read that whole post? I give ya credit.
LEN IS RIGHT is happy you stopped by.
Be well, minions.
I am,
Len Tollerton

FOOTBALL PARTY

Hello my Minions:
This past weekend saw the end-of-the-year party for my Fantasy Football League. I am the Commissioner (in name only) and Social Director, so I got to run things. I think I may have made one hell of a Cruise Director for Royal Caribbean or some such organization, I just don't look too good in a skirt (see past posts on hairiness).

First off, I'd like to thank Melissa and Rob Lindley (Lady Hunter and the Bounty Hunter) for securing for the league the party spot. The clubhouse at Horizon Ridge is very comfortable with many nice features for holding parties. M&R have been coming through for us over the last few years and I know everyone that attends really appreciates it.

For those of you that received my mis-sent email about the TV, Roy the G.B. King took care of us on that one. Thanks Roy, there probably wouldn't have been too much of a party w/o the TV. Everything else went off without a hitch. Food was good football games were good, and the poker tourney went off without any problems and we even had a surprise winner.

Because of illnesses, we had only 14 players for the tourney. After getting down to a Final table, the players tightened up a bit. There were only a few highlights. Rob the B.H. bent the Rainman over and sent him to the rail. Then Chuck the E.o.D. went All-In with King-Queen against this older gent who was a guest. He happened to be holding a pair of 7's. Well, you could see it coming a mile away, as Chuck's hand didn't improve, the 7's held up and Chuck did his best Phil Helmuth impression as he tried not to go into full-blown tantrum state. Later the older guy (Uncle Phil...not my uncle) went All-In and I was the only one who'd play with him. I was holding King-10 suited. Just as before, Uncle Phil was holding 7's and my hand didn't improve and Uncle Phil had new life.

At one point Rob the B.H. had the chip lead. but after a few devastating losses Rob was sent to the rail in 5th place. That left myself, Uncle Phil, Roy the G.B. King (widely considered the best tourney player of our group), and Brian the Kaos Kid. We played for alot of hands before Roy knocked me out when I couldn't draw the Flush on the end. I was happy to cash in the tourney, cause I get distracted when I am running the show and don't always play my best. Uncle Phil's luck came to an end a few hands later. He was very happy to have done so well.

That brought it down to Roy and Brian. I think the general feeling was that Roy was the favorite in this scenario because he plays very tough when he's heads up w/another player. But when Brian went on a streak, winning 15 hands in a row, Roy knew he was in trouble. Shortly thereafter, Brian ended Roy's hope of taking home the Champion's plaque, and Brian was handed the Title and $400. This is Brian's first win in one of our tourneys (Football league or Daytona Ave.) and he was very happy and, I think, a little relieved. However, his brother, Kevin the Roller, would not congratulate him, saying, "I thought Roy would win...that's who my money was on." Brian calls Kevin "The Lifehater." Kevin's family call him "The Angry Man."

By the way, the League crowned Fred Theadore and the LR Express the Champion of our League for the 2nd year in a row, and his 4th title in 15 years. Fred has been in 8 of the last 12 Finals. He also won his other league this year. He has an uncanny ability to draft the right guys, make the right mid-season moves, and start the right players. He also seems to have INCREDIBLE luck. But that's a whole other post. Congrats to Fred, ya bastard.

GREETINGS TO MY FRIENDS
I'd like to take this time to send greetings to all my friends and loved ones who are not in the area or who I don't see very often. L.E.B. in Fonda; My cool friend Tom the Big Game Hunter down South; Uncle Bob the Mixologist; Deb,The LOVELY Wiccan; My loving family members in Utica, NY (Tollertons and Grotevants, et al); Jim "The Curmudgeon" Bashford; Deb, my friend at KeyBank; Dave and Steve down in N.C. (my cousins...2 very cool individuals); Dick and Aggie in FLA; The Rockabilly Corteses (and the Boneshakers); Marc the Actor in L.A.; Henry the World Traveler; Marc who manages Metallica; Paul the Judge(and a HUGE Packers fan); She Who Is In Hell (Jen, time for a new name); Mike W. having fun in the Iraqi desert; and the ever-vaunted BVA down in Sanford (F*&K the Giants).

Just a little shout-out to y'all. Stay right, people. And keep on visiting LEN IS RIGHT.

Peace on this day.
I am,
Len Tollerton

GOOD LUCK MIKE W.

Hey minions:
Today's post is just some good wishes sent along the wire to a friend from my youth.

Mike Wesoloski is a guy from Colonie that I was friends with through another common friend. He always knew he wanted to be a soldier. He was in Active Duty for the Army for a few years, got out, and then got back in when Iraq started.

His son, Mike, is the captain on my son Connor's bowling team. Last May, Mike, the elder, got his orders to go to Iraq for a year. It's funny how you don't really think about it much if you don't know anyone who's over there. But when you know someone who is going, it kind of wakes you up. When he left, in May, I admit to misting up a bit when I said goodbye to him. You don't know if you're going to see someone again, so it affects you, if you have a heart.

Anyway, Mike came home for 2 weeks over the holidays, and I think he REALLY was glad to be home. No duh, right? The pictures he's sent back have painted a picture of a bleak and desolate landscape teeming with camel spiders, scorpions, and DIRT. What? Are you freakin' kidding me? Why on earth would people choose to live there? This is what Allah did for you Muslim folks, huh? Jeez, sign me up for the Taliban. Idiots.

So, Mike went back to Iraq this past week. He'll be released from his duty in May. Hey Mike, My wish for you is to return home safe and healthy and that the next 5 months flies by at warp speed. You know your family will keep the home fires burning. And now, my blog minions will be thinking about you, too.

Hey folks, I heard Mike is a little homesick since he went back (a phenomenon that happens when you get to come home in the middle of your term). I know you guys rarely respond to my questions. But I'd like to request that all of you send Mike an email with some positive words. We'd both really appreciate it. Don't let me down folks. It'll only take a couple of minutes.

Mike Wesoloski can be reached via email at: wezski@aol.com
Thanks.
Remember, always, that LEN IS RIGHT!
I am,
Len Tollerton

FINGER FRUSTRATION

My Friends:
The struggle continues. You know, when you watch a person play a guitar, someone who knows how to play and can execute every chord and lead, you don't often realize how much work went into getting to that point. That is, until you, yourself, attempt to learn to play correctly.

I'll tell ya, if your ego ever gets too big, all you need to do is pick up a guitar and try to start learning how to play. You can't believe how frustrating it is getting your fingers to be in the right spots and move the way they need to. It is so easy to feel disabled when you're trying to hold down strings so they play cleanly and your chords don't sound flat and crappy.

I've rarely found an activity that is at once frustrating and rewarding. At the outset it's mainly frustrating. I think that's why I never stuck with it when I was a kid. I guess I figured that if I couldn't be great w/in the first month, that I would never be any good at it. As I grew older, I realized that, unless you have an inate talent, that it's NOT going to be easy and it IS going to take alot of work and practice. Now that I'm in my 40's and I'm trying to become competent, I'm finding that I have more patience to work through the difficulties, but still get as frustrated playing because my mind knows where my fingers are supposed to be, but the body (especially the fingers) wants to be a pain in the ass. No pun intended.

Learning the correct way to play chords and transitioning smoothly between these chords is the tricky part. Hey listen, I've ALWAYS had respect for guitar players, but it's even more so now. Now I realize why it's important to set aside an hour every day to practice (more if you want to get really good and get good fast). Roy the G.B. King and I are big guitar fans. He's crazy for guys like Carlos Santana, any hot blues guitarist (Jimmy Thackery, Stevie Ray, etc...) and other guys who can just play well. And as you know I'm into the Metal thing (guys like Angus Young, Alex Lifeson, Dave Murray and Adrian Smith of Maiden, and Tony Iommi of Sabbath). We both have a Man-Worship thing going for a couple of friends of ours (Jeff the Palooka and the DotCom Destroyer) because besides being golfers who consistently shoot in the 70's, they both happen to wail on the guitar. Listening to them play, I can only wonder at the amount of practice time they must have put in when they were younger.

YEAH, OKAY, SO?.....
So my struggle continues as I continue to kick my own ass for not sticking with it when I was a kid. I'm finally learning how to play scales of different kinds, and play chords and transition between them smoothly. I have good days and bad days, like anything else. I think it's very true that you have to learn on an acoustic, so as to learn how to hold down strings properly. You then progress to an electric, which, when amplified is easier to play (my opinion). I still want to go fast and be a great player before I'm ready. And in truth, I know it's going to take a while. But by next year at this time, I believe I'm going to be able to play quite well (for me). I won't be afraid to embarass myself when playing in front of others. I probably won't be able to play many Standard songs (Down in the Valley, Camp Town Races, etc...) because that's not my bag. But I hope to have written several decent rock songs that I can get recorded with the help a few musician friends. Not looking to be some recording star, but I am looking to satisfy my own ego and maybe impress a person or two.

Now that I've stopped smoking, I think my singing voice is returning a little. I can sing pretty well, so that's always been an option. But I'd rather just play the axe. I've often been of the opinion that singers get the chicks, but guitarists get the respect. I'm not looking to nail groupies at this point in my life. I think I just want a little man-worship. I hope you are all laughing right now. That was said tongue-in-cheek.

Hey, if you're a kid or if you have a kid that is taking music lessons, please, PLEASE stick with it. Don't let frustration influence you to quit. If you quit, you will end up like me, 40-something years old, trying to do something you should have done years ago, and playing catch-up in a big way. If you're an adult and just starting, or re-discovering something like playing an instrument, just freakin' DO IT. I always thought it was too late to start and kept putting it off. Now I know what I want out of my playing. So, now I'm going to stick with it. I have to, or else there's no reason for LEN IS RIGHT.

THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES.
Be Well, people, and thanks for indulging the Metal Head.
I am,
Len Tollerton

2ND BEST=LOSER

Hello Folks:

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I know my friends in Florida are bumming about the Buccaneers losing to the Giants, but are happy about the Jags beating the Steelers. Here is the LEN IS RIGHT take on the NFL Playoffs: Of all of the teams in the AFC Playoffs, I believe the ONLY team that the Patriots DIDN'T want to see was the Jaguars.

Here's why. The Pats have already defeated the Colts and know what makes them tick. Same with the Chargers. You couldn't have been impressed by the game San Diego played against the Titans. The Pats dominated the Steelers and the Titans weren't going anywhere. The Jags, however, are a team with a ferocious Defense who have this uncanny knack for beating teams they have no business beating, on the road. True, Jags QB, David Garrard, will have to step up and play a consistent game. The Pats have shown, recently, that they can give up points. If the Jags can score a few times, they may be able to hold the Pats in check. I don't think it'll really happen, but I think the Jags are the only AFC team that can beat the Patriots.

In the NFC it'll be Dallas over the Packers to go to the Super Bowl. I think the Giants will come back to reality this week, and the Seahawks could make it close, but the Pack will be led by Favre to the NFC Championship game.

2ND BEST MEANS YOU'RE A LOSER
Played poker with Roy, the GB King, Chuck, the E o D, DotCom, and Justin the Extreme over the weekend. I was the big loser (only $80...not too bad), but a tenet of poker hit home while I was getting fleeced by my friends. When you're 2nd best at the poker table, you are the loser. And I was 2nd best several times. The best one was, while playing a hand of Omaha, I got the Ace-High Flush on the Turn, only to have the guy I went All-In against pull his Full House on the River to sink the sword into my rib-cage. UGH. Don't be 2nd best if you can avoid it.

2 SONGS TO CHECK OUT
I don't have links to give you right now, but if you get the chance, check out these 2 songs:

1.-The Pot by Tool--A hard rock song that is ABSOLUTELY thumping. Tool is a strange band of superior musicians who play with different time-signatures within their songs. This song is a 6-minute epic that just is all over the place but is just an excellent song. If you can take some hard rock, think about downloading it just to check out

2.--Ice Queen by Within Temptation--This song is in the style of Progressive Metal (symphonic/Gothic) and is a really great song. What makes it so special is the undeniable talent of the singer Sharon Den Adel. Her voice is high and powerful and you wouldn't think she belongs in a band like this. But she really sings beautifully, and the song rocks. This band is from the Netherlands and is really talented. If you get the chance, go to YouTube and type in Within Temptation and look for the video for Ice Queen. Very cool imagery, fantastic song. They also do a killer version of Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill. Definitely worth checking out.

While you're at YouTube, also check out a similar band, Nightwish, and their song NEMO. Very good song. Even though you may not be into this type of music, just check out the voices on the female singers in Within Temptation and Nightwish, and the fantastic musicianship from the American band Tool. I think you'll get some appreciation out of it.

Okay, that's all for now. Be Well and Be RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

CHECK OUT MINDWALK!!

Minions:
While surfing on YouTube, I came across this band, MINDWALK.
PLEASE go to YouTube and check out the videos for the RUSH covers of Limelight and YYZ, and check out their original song Glory's Gates.

These guys are in MIDDLE SCHOOL--ages 11-14. Except for the singing, which isn't fantastic, these kids are obviously prodigies. Is this what the guys in Rush were like when they were this age. I think this is pretty impressive. This is what Jackson aspires to do before he gets out of high school.

Trust me on this one. LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

QUICK KUDOS TO JESS

Hey people:
Just a quick post to congratulate a young friend of mine (and maybe yours, too), Jessica Koehler, for getting her first by-line and story as a Staff Writer for the Albany Times Union. Jess is the daughter of good friends Kevin and Barb Koehler of Albany (Kev is Connor's godfather--he also works at Amtrak). She attends Russell Sage College in Troy, NY and I believe she is majoring in Journalism.

I've known Jess for most of her life and I've never known a girl who was so into sports, especially College Hoop and Volleyball. She is a BIG fan of my cousin, Matt Carroll of the Charlotte Bobcats in the NBA and (unfortunately) a die-hard Atlanta Braves fan...at least until they traded Marcus Giles away to the Padres.

You can read her story at www.timesunion.com Click on the Sports Section, go to high-school sports and look for the headline reading "Powell lifts unbeaten Chatham." Here is the actual link to the page where the story is. I don't know if it'll work, so if not, just use the path I described.
http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=652342&category=HSSPORTS&BCCode=&newsdate=1/4/2008

So, Jess, I want to congratulate you publicly and wish you the best of luck in a field that I know you love. It's important to do something you have passion for and you seem to be on the right track. Maybe after you get out of college, the offers from USA Today, ESPN, or Fox Sports will come in droves. Chase your dream, kid, and don't let anybody dissuade you from getting what you want. This is the first step. The journey is a long one, but you've made a good start. Chase the Dream.

Chant it out for her, everybody...LEN IS RIGHT!! LEN IS RIGHT!! LEN IS RIGHT!!
Peace to my people here on Earth.
I am,
Len Tollerton

WHAT'S UP FOR 2008

People of mine:
Welcome to 2008. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Right? Well, maybe, maybe not. As usual, the world felt the exact same to me after the ball dropped last night. Of course, I had been up for the previous 32 hours, so I may have been a little world-weary. Or maybe just weary.

So many of us make the famous New Year's resolutions. Quit smoking, lose weight, get a better job, be nicer to people or treat my loved ones better are some of the ones you often hear. The vast majority have often failed by the end of the week, let alone the end of the month. But we all like to believe we have a clean slate on New Year's Day, right? We like to have the Promise of Potentiality. That is, we like to believe that there is half a goddamn chance that the potential for a better life, or a better US begins on January 1. Folks, in reality, this is the weak-minded looking for a crutch. Hey, you want to do something bad enough, you aren't going to wait around till the end of the year to make it happen, are you?

You know it's time to quit smoking. Since December 1st, I've only had 3 cigarettes. The meds I've taken (Chantix), have made it so I don't really even think about smoking. No lie. I thought I'd have a problem when I had a few drinks. But that hasn't been the case at all. The 3 that I've had were out of boredom, or because I was agitated by some dickhead in the world who caused me some grief. I know it's too soon to tell, but I really think I'm over ciggys.

I, personally, have only 2 other things I'd really like to accomplish this year. One would be to lose about 40 lbs. and get stronger, physically. To do this, I am going to have to force myself to actually get my ass into the health club I belong to. The other thing is to become a MUCH better guitar player than I am now. To do this, I'm going to have to do more than just practice. I have to spend some money and take a few lessons. At $14/half-hour, I think I can afford to take a few lessons. What is my goal? Besides being able to play well for my own enjoyment, I'd like to be able to jam w/ other musicians or friends that play, and not embarass myself. I guess I'd like to impress people once in a while.

I know that NONE of you will respond on this site, but I'd like to hear a few of the things that my Minions are trying to accomplish this year. And if you're going to email me or respond to this site, make it something that you REALLY plan on doing. No past glories. Just honest thoughts of the future, okay? Make it as funny as you can, because we all need some comedy in our lives, too. Like, I've always wanted to be a rock star. But I realize that I'm far past that point now. Besides the music industry is a young person's game. But I think I could stand in front of a crowd, with a mike in hand, and belt out some vintage hard rock, and still hit a high-note or two. I'd REALLY like to stand in front of people and rip off a blistering solo on a guitar. That's my goal for 2008. Become a competent guitarist. Hopefully, I'll be able to devote enough time for it. The question arises: Does anyone really want to see a middle aged, balding, fat bastard wailing metal classics on a Dean guitar?

How come it takes so many of us (and I mean myself) to need the aging process to gain wisdom? I know a bunch of people who knew what they wanted at an early age and went after it as soon as High School was over. Guys like Paul the Judge, Sean the Spy, and Patty the Lovely 5th Grade Teacher always knew what they wanted to do. Me? I knew but had feet of clay, and was never able to get past discouragement or setbacks. The love affair with the Kind bud hasn't helped in that regard either.

But now I can see a little more clearly. It's probably a good thing I never became a rock star, cause I'd probably be dead or institutionalized by now. These days, I have the wisdom to know that I can do things to please myself without having to be a STAR. It's nice to be able to know something in your mind without having to prove it to millions.

I am rambling on without direction, now, so I'll end this rant. I'll just leave you with this thought. IT'S ALL INSIDE OF YOU. UNLOCK YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOU. If you don't, no one else out there cares enough to take the time to drag it out of you. You know that LEN IS RIGHT. Now it's time for all of you to go out and be right. You can do it.

I am,
Len Tollerton

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THE MINIONS

Friends, Americans, countrymen:
It is I, your good friend in upstate NY sending along my Best Wishes for a very safe and Happy New Year.

I hope you will all exercise moderation tonight, if going out on the town. You know that law enforcement will be busy and in a rigid attitude looking for folks who want to push the limit. Be smart and be safe. It ends up costing ALOT less for a cab than it does paying a fine and increased insurance rates for a DWI (DUI).

LEN IS RIGHT will not abandon you in the New Year. That is a promise from me to you. I'm sure I'll have alot to say in 2008. We have around 375 days (give or take a day) till the ass-bag that is our President will be ushered out. Hopefully they'll just grab him by the collar and kick him to the curb. But I digress.

Congrats to the New England Patriots for finishing the Regular season undefeated. Very impressive. But, really, if they don't win the Super Bowl, the season ends up being a Colossal disappointment, doesn't it? In REALITY, I don't see anyone staying with them, so it SHOULD be a foregone conclusion. Since the Chiefs are not in the playoffs, I can say that I would like to see the Pats do it. And I have no problem with the city of Boston holding championships in the 3 major sports all at once. After the 86 year gap for the Red Sox, I think it's time those fans in the Boston area get a few years of prosperity, before the other shoe eventually drops and they're back to being also-rans.

Okay, that's it for now. Enjoy your New Year's Eve, smartly, okay?
Tkae Care.
I am,
Len Tollerton

MERRY CHRISTMAS MINIONS

Hello my friends:
Just a quick note to tell you Merry Christmas. I hope everyone enjoys their day with their families, friends, etc...

I will be thinking of each of you at some time today and hoping you get the most out of your quality time.

Peace and happiness to you all from us here at LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

ENCOUNTERED REALISTIC IRONIES

Hey People, what's up?
Today's topic is the concept of IRONY. By definition, IRONY is the disharmony between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result.

How many of us realize that irony goes on in our lives all the time? We don't always catch it, as we are often entrenched in our routines. But sometimes realization hits. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean.

THE CRUEL IRONY OF PARENTHOOD
A personal example of irony in a cruel vein would be this: My father was a guy who was NOT into sports. He was more into the Fine Arts. Literary(read a ton), Artsy(theater, music, art), Culinary (mixed a GREAT cocktail, could cook anything), he was a guy you could hang out with and have a first-class time, because you'd be exposed to good food and drink, music, and conversation and perhaps a really good play. You weren't drinking Fleischman's liquor, it was always top-shelf.

So, what does this guy get for his ONLY child? He gets a TOTAL Jock-Rocker. Lived and Breathed all sports. Could tell you stats till the cows came home. All-Star in baseball. Found the sound of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal and thought he would never feel anything better than the sound of a Power chord struck on a Gibson Les Paul, played through a Marshall stack, on 11. It was like plugging into the wall socket and Riding the Lightning. (right now, my friend BVA is simultaneously laughing his ass off and retching up whatever flavor microwave burrito he's eating) Don't get me wrong, I can wine, dine, and Fine Art it with anyone. But you see my meaning. That would be IRONY.

Cruel Irony comes now that I have kids. My 2 boys walk around my house with Dad having Mets games on the TV, Chiefs clothing and Fantasy Football going on all fall, Metal coming from the computer speakers whlie Dad is screaming along with Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden, and what do I get? 2 boys who aren't really into sports or the metal, although they're both coming around to my musical tastes (screw you Brian) because of Guitar Hero and the iPod. I constantly push sports for reasons of health, fun, and teamwork or competition dynamics. I've been a coach, manager, and spectator (the toughest of the 3). They've not, to this point, embraced anything major, sports-wise. But that's them. They are parts of MORE than just ME. And as they grow and develop their own selves, I realize that maybe my influence hasn't been lost on them. That realization also qualifies, to me, as being fairly ironic. Oh, BTW, if I had access to the kind of video games they have, when I was a kid, I'd be playing them all the time, too. Oh, Irony, breathe your cruel wind over my soul.

MORE IRONY IN LEN-LAND
Now THIS irony is especially cruel to me. It's well-documented in the lives of ALOT of men that shit starts happening to your body after the age of 30 that you say, "Aww, that's not right." My personal example is about hair. Being a Metal head in the 80's meant a certain look. Some guys just grew their hair long and let it go. Some, got all permed and dressed up, like they were in the band Poison or Brittny Foxxx. Posers. Then there were the guys, like me, in the middle-kind of, where you grew your hair long, but got the perm cause your hair looked shitty straight. Anyway, you look like a rocker.

Then a few years pass and the bald-spot starts and styles in the world change. And you realize that you look ridiculous with long hair. Then you find out how easy it is to care for no hair. But you see your friends, or older people with full heads of hair and you start to become jealous. So you wish you had hair again. (side note: NEVER did I EVER consider hair-replacement at any time. You can ALWAYS tell it's fake, and the drugs are hit-and-miss at best) One day you find that your wish has been answered, but with a whole heaping dose of IRONY.

Why? Because the hair is growing on your BODY. Great for warmth in the winter. Sucks for the beach in summer. There is absolutely no reason for me to have grown the hair on my body and lost it on my head, where I want it. Does this end up being bad karma reprisal from an earlier existence? I don't know, but there's got to be someone somewhere saying,"Heh-heh. That was a good one." "What?" "Tollerton wished for hair. I grew a bear's worth for him...on his body. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yeah, yuk it up you ironically cruel bastard. I hope you get a nut wart. Jeez, I probably ought to stop making wishes. "Be careful what you wish for, My Dear, or you shall surely get it."

AND ONE MORE
I have a family friend who is a pretty tough guy. One night, back in the early 60's he was driving along a city street when he saw a man slapping the shit out of a woman, outside of a bar. So, not liking this, he stops and goes over to the guy and puches him out. He thinks he's done a decent thing, when the woman who was getting the crap kicked out of her attacks him and tells him to mind his own business. Stunned, he walked back to his car shaking his head, wondering, WTF!! The irony here is that you think you have a person's best interests at hand and you say something or make an action that you think is helpful, only to realize that asking first would have been a better choice. Or maybe to realize that you don't know what that person's life is, really. You can't walk in another's shoes or see through their eyes, or think what they think or feel. The knee-jerk reaction is, generally, never good. It can end up alienating others, especially those close to you. Don't make this mistake. We can't all save the world and the ironic thing is that parts of the world don't WANT to be saved. There's a message for someone there, I think. Maybe it's me.

I invite you to read a CLASSIC story of irony that goes hand-in-hand with the Holidays. The story is by Ohenry, and is entitled The Gift of the Magi. Many of you are probably very familiar with this timeless tale of love and irony. Click on the link below. Please take the time to check it out, it's only 2 pages long. www.online-literature.com/O_henry/1014/

Enjoy and thanks for stopping by LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

THE MALAISE

Hello my friends:
Is it enough for me to say that I Hate Winter? I don't know if those 3 words acurately convey my disdain for the worst parts of this cursed season. I know, I know, just move if you don't like it. For me, in my situation, that's not possible. Every year, usually between Jan. 15 and Mar. 1st, I come down with a case of the winter blues.

THE BLUES OF WINTER
I'll try not to belabor the point. The Winter Blues is not, for me, cabin fever or post holiday stress bullshit. It's just the fact that I don't like the cold, especially the howling winds that often accompany the cold. Truth be told, I don't mind the snow that much. I actually feel pretty good after shoveling the driveway, though I think it's only cause I'm finished.

Look, I'm a tee shirt and shorts-type of guy. I figure, if you're too hot, check out some AC. In the cold, you always have to put on more clothes. "Layer yourself, man, that'll keep you warm." Yeah, and then I start taking stuff off when I get warm, and run myself through a series of electrical shocks from static as each layer comes off. If it's dark in the room, you can easily see the sparks. One of these days, my hairy ass is going up in a flashing ball of fire.

As for the Blues of Winter, I caught them Saturday night, just as the storm started, while driving to work. I'm thinking to myself, "We haven't even REACHED the first day of Winter, and I've already hit the depression. I'm in trouble.

THE SOLUTION TO THE WINTER BLUES
Is it a mantra you must chant to get yourself through it? Is there a change in diet that needs to take place? (diet...that's a funny word) Is there someone you need to talk to? NO, NO, and NO. The answer, my friends, is very easy to find. It's inside of you. It's the part of you that says, "HEY ASSHOLE!! YOU LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST. GET OVER YOURSELF. IT'S FREAKIN' WINTER. IF YOU HAD THE MONEY, YOU'D MOVE, BUT YOU DON'T. SO SUCK IT THE FREAK UP!!"

It's here, and it's not going away anytime soon. Maybe we'll get lucky and it'll have a mild back-end and I can start playing golf in March. You wouldn't believe what a pain in the ass a frozen, snow and ice-packed train is like to work on. It's cold, even when it comes into the shop. Never mind trudging across the yard in shin or knee-deep snow to get to a frozen hunk of HARD metal. "HEY, MAYBE IF YOU HAD STAYED IN SCHOOL AND LAID OFF OF THE KIND BUD, YOU MIGHT HAVE A JOB THAT ALLOWS YOU TO GET AWAY FROM THE TERM WIND-CHILL FACTOR!!!!!

Ah... but I digress. One round of shovelling snow brings you back. There's something pretty cool about being out in your driveway, when it's snowing big flakes, and there's no cars out, so it's quiet, ya know? If you stand there silent, you can hear the flakes hit the ground. Pretty neat. BTW, I'm completely sober while typing this.

Winter is here. I hope Patty keeps the heating bill up to date. I hate the cold.

From LEN IS RIGHT Headquarters,
I am,
Len Tollerton

LEN'S FAVORITES AND NON-FAVORITES

Hey Now:
This being the holiday season, I thought what would the minions like for Christmas. I know. A list of Len's personal favorites so the minions know exactly what to get the master and what to avoid. Usually it's all about you. But for today, it's gonna have to be about me. But of course, it's for the purposes of helping YOU. This mind set is what helps make ME RIGHT. So here goes:

LEN's FAVORITES:
Food Section
Teriyaki Sirloin from The Barnsider--Med. rare
Steak cooked Med. rare or rare
King Crab legs
NY City-style pizza
BBQ ribs (pork, not beef/any style)
Pan-seared salmon
Big freakin' shrimp
Sushi
Garlicky food
Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam
Drakes Funny Bones and Ring Dings
(no surprise there, just look at me)
Blackberry or blueberry pie
Tanqueray Gin
Knob Creek Bourbon
Harpoon India Pale Ale
Iced tea (sweetened no lemon)

Music--which, by the way, I consider one of the most important things in life
Most Heavy Metal (especially the following
styles:Heavy, Power, Progressive) and Hard Rock
Favorite Bands: Rush, Black Sabbath (all singers),
Iron Maiden, Judas Priest,
AC/DC, Disturbed
Mercyful Fate, The Sword,
UFO
Hard Rock bands like: Soundgarden,
Wolfmother, Led Zep, King's X,
Foo Fighters, Black Stone Cherry
Guilty Pleasures (don't laugh):
Herb Alpert and the TJB
Rocking Kelly Clarkson songs
Jesus Christ Superstar

Sports:
NY Mets
KC Chiefs
Montreal Canadiens
The Assassins (my fantasy football team)
Playing golf/football/baseball/bowling
Poker (I know...a game not a sport)

Movies:
Jaws--my alltime #1
Star Wars (ep. 3-6)
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Indiana Jones movies
Dogma
Godfather (1 and 2, only)
Goodfellas
The Lion in Winter
Guilty Pleasures:
Love Actually-great holiday chick flick

Favorite All-Time Books
Lord of the Rings trilogy
The Hobbit
Fool on the Hill-fantastic book by Matt Ruff--tough to find
The Fionavar Tapestry--Guy Gavriel Kay
The Firm--John Grisham
Deathstalker series--Simon Green
Silence of the Lambs
Angels and Demons/DaVinci Code--Dan Brown
The Mists of Avalon--King Arthur story told from the women's point of view--very good

MISCELLANEOUS FAVORITES:
Patty, Connor and Jackson
My car--1999 Ford Crown Victoria
The Kind Bud--if you have to ask forget it
Women in heels
Dungeons and Dragons
Poker tourneys and home poker games
Smoking cigarettes--though I've recently quit
Long dinners at great restaurants
My close circle of friends--you know who you are

ABSOLUTE NON-FAVORITES
Goulash
Lima Beans
Onions (most not all styles)
Coconut--in any form whatsoever
Organ meats--except liver
White wine
Vodka
Country Western Music
Ballet
Most opera
Death and Hardcore Metal
Dylan/Seeger/Most Springsteen
Whiners and Drama queens
Any celeb with a political cause
ORGANIZED RELIGIONS--especially right-wing born-again Christians of any kind
Local Amtrak management
White trash/Black thugs-gangstas/dickhead Muslims with a cause/snobby Jews
The Unbathed-filthy people, not a band
Drunks--again people, not a band
Sleepless in Seattle/You've Got Mail
Spam--the email, not the food
Weak-minded people
The NBA--since Dr.J retired
Men who beat women
School bullies
HEROES:
ME
My wife and kids
Angus Young/Tony Iommi/Alex Lifeson/Tipton and Downing/Scott Gorham/Ian Gillan
Tom Seaver/Emmitt Smith/Julius Erving-most incredible hoop player ever/Pistol Pete Maravich/Patrick Roy-you can have Hasek, Parent, Brodeur, and Vachon, I'll take Patrick over all of them/Strawberry and Gooden--before drugs/Ken Dryden/1980 US Olympic Hockey Team/Nicklaus and Tiger/Earl Anthony--greatest, smoothest bowler of all time/Ken Griffey Jr./Jack Youngblood and Fred Dryer--1970's L.A. Rams Defensive linemen/Walt "Clyde" Frazier

Okay, thanks for indulging me for a few minutes. Stay tuned for the next episode of
LEN IS RIGHT
Until next time, Peace to my people on Earth.
I am,
Len Tollerton

DOMINATED BY THE SHAW KID

MINIONS:
Okay, none of you ever respond to my poll questions. What kind of minions are YOU??!! You disappoint your master during the holiday season. I'm starting to get a complex. But I bet after what I'm about to tell you, I'll hear from people in freakin' Helsinki, Finland. (That's where the fans of the Assassins from Shadowland reside. The Assassins are my beloved Fantasy Football team. Our home stadium, the Pit of Despair, is in Helsinki. Makes the visiting team tired.....jet lag, ya know.)

Anyway......here we go. I bowl every 2 or 3 months. I can usually shoot anywhere from 160-230, depending on if I suck that day or not. I roll a decent ball, but have a problem with being consistent. Kind of like my golf game, though I'm better at bowling. I'm sure my father-in-law's friends in Florida will attest to that. So today I bowled in the Coach-N-Kids tournament at Sunset Lanes in Colonie. Since I don't have a sanctioned average, I had to bowl to a 200 average. I knew I wasn't likely to bowl a 600 triple, but I figured I could handle 550-580.

Our team consisted of Jackson's friend C.J. (100 avg.), Jackson (127 avg.), and Jack's team Captain, Nick Shaw (137 avg.). Okay, so I'm just bowling because they need an adult, but I'm really looking forward to it. I want to bowl really well to continue my son's hero-worship of me (tongue-in-cheek, for those who don't know me). I'm generally good at making spares. Not today, folks. No excuses, either. I just didn't have it today. Games of 155, 178 (striking out in the 10th frame), and 150 (let me just puke all over my shoes, thank-you). A 483 triple, and about 100 pins less than I had hoped for.

The Shaw kid? First, let me tell you all that his 137 average is not as accurate as you may believe. I've seen this kid throw games in the 180's, 190's and 200's. I've seen him string 5 or 6 strikes at times, then come back and throw a gutter ball. He has some talent, and I think some day he'll be on his school team, and will probably easily average in the 200's. So, this kid rolls a 133, 183, and 176, for a 492 triple. Absolutely kicks this old guy's butt, stringing strikes, making spares, just DOMINATING the master blogger. In truth, I was VERY happy for him. I really enjoy watching Jackson and Nick bowl every Saturday morning. They're both great kids with great senses of humor. They're both knuckleheads, but they're alot of fun to hang around with (when they're not being little wise-asses). I hope when they grow to be adults, that we can all hang out together playing sports, music, or just having a cocktail or two. That probably won't be until they're in their 30's, cause 20 year old guys don't usually want to hang with guys in their 50's or 60's. Luckilly, Nick's mom (the lovely Wiccan mentioned in a past post) and C.J.'s mom didn't bust my balls too bad. I was hoping to make a better showing so my teammates had a chance to grab a trophy, but not this time. Hopefully I'll be asked to participate again, cause I had alot of fun with these guys.

Since I know I have a limited audience, I will make this open wager to MY minions. I'll bowl anyone out there for the princely sum of $5/game. I'm that sure of my awesome talents. Even Chuck the E. o D. I might even be willing to go $10/game. Of course, after watching my display today, I wouldn't be surprised to see Nick's mom take me up on that wager. I think she used to bowl on the Ladies Pro Tour. I'm confident, though, cause I think I can throw her off her game by stealing her Mint Mojito gum. Ha-Hah!!! I got a plan, baby!!

You know how I know this will work? Because LEN IS RIGHT. You know it. I know it, and Jackson knows it. Stick that in your snot-locker folks.

Bring the abuse, people. I can take it. More from the home front later this week. Cheers.
I am,
Len Tollerton

THE GLAZE

Good morning Minions:
Well, it's finally here, folks. Winter has officially settled in here in the Great Northeast. And what, you ask, is The Glaze?

In our house, we call it Magic Shell. It is that nice layer of thin, rippled ice that covers everything in sight, takes forever to defrost, and doesn't scrape off easily. Although I will say we were somewhat lucky, as the temperature rose into the 30's around 4:00 a.m. and the freezing rain turned to plain rain, and just made everything wet. At least that's how it was in Albany. Outlying areas, I don't know.

THE MIDNIGHT COMMUTE
I was fortunate to have to drive to work as the storm got going in earnest, last night around 11:30. From 11:00-12:00 the weather went from snow, to light rain, to freezing rain, to sleet. The beginning of the commute wasn't bad, but as I progressed, the roads got worse, culminating with the Amtrak parking lot, which hadn't been salted by the Building and Bridge Dept, and was thus a single sheet of ice.

One guy got taken out in an ambulance after falling in the railyard. He was a Coach Cleaner who was crossing the tracks to get to his train. Unfortunately for him, he decided against wearing his hard hat and is now not likely to have any recompense for his injury because he wasn't wearing the required Personal Protective Equipment. That's the way things work with injuries at Amtrak.

Anyway...I was able to get enough fishtailing practice with my car, that now I am all set for the winter. I feel I can now safely navigate any of winter's driving pitfalls, for the season. Of course my car is rear-wheel drive, so my car CAN fishtail. Most of you folks never experience this with front-wheel drive. But I like to live on the edge. I'm radical, baby.

It's always interesting watching the people who forgot how to drive in winter weather conditions every year. It's like it's their first winter ever. People, adjust for the conditions, huh? Be safe and don't assume everyone drives as well as you do. Have some escape room, slow down a little and stay off of your freakin' cellphone. We know you're gonna be late, honey, just get there safe. Stop talking on the phone telling the office the obvious.

I think you know that, LEN IS RIGHT.
I am,
Len Tollerton

MY HUMOR THANKS TO THE SUMMERS FAMILY

Greetings min-yo-nays:
It is I, your good friend Len, back with another Len Is Right post. Today, I'm going to give some props to some friends who had an influence on me as a kid.

HERE'S TO THE SUMMERS FAMILY
Hey, a couple of weeks ago, I was visiting my closest friend from high school, who was here visiting family. This guy's name is Tom Summers. He was also the Best Man at my wedding. We graduated Christian Bros. Academy (a local military high school run by the Christian Brothers) in 1981, and for the last 3 years of school, I used to hang at Tom's house after school, pretty much all the time.

This post is kind of a Thank You to the Summers family for helping me develop my sense of humor and to not take things too seriously in life. Tom, along with his brothers John, Dan, George, and Charlie always welcomed me into the fold and we always had a great time hanging out, shooting air-pistols, partying (WOW...guess what I did in HIGH school), and just doing alot of laughing.

I guess you could call our sense of humor "all-encompassing." It was made up from classic comedy movies, TV, and stand-up comedians of the day, with a heavy dose of Monty Python and the Firesign Theater thrown in. If you have found anything I write, or anything I say funny, you can kind-of thank the Summers brothers (and definitely NOT the
Christian Brothers, unless it was for mocking humor).

To this day, my family and I still sit around at the dinner table making stupid quotes from movies to make each other laugh. Impressions also play a part in my sense of humor. I have learned to do the voices and sounds of alot of movies and cartoons over the years, and the reason for this is because I had to do something to keep up with these guys. Believe me, with 5 of them, it was tough to find a spot to get in a word, but I managed.

These guys got their humor, I think, from their Dad, John Sr. I remember one of the first times I experienced humor from Mr. Summers. Everytime I had previously met the guy, he seemed very gruff and strict. He came home from work one autumn day while we were all laying about after a bit of a smoke (nudge-nudge). There was a bushel of apples in a basket on the floor, which no one seemed to be eating. Mr. Summers says to us, gruffly: "Hey!! You guys better start eating these damn apples.....what do you think, they grow on trees?" Now I'm sure that doesn't seem that funny reading it, but we all, at the time, thought it was hilarious. That was my first experience with John Summers humor. After that day, he always seemed alot nicer than I originally thought.

These days, with the Summers family scattered all over the Capital District, and my friend Tom living up in Maine, we don't see each other that much. When I do see them, it's always like going home, because we still laugh at the same shit, even quoting the same lines we used to. It just seems any conversation we have leads to the classic humor. So, here, publicly, I'd like to send my heartfelt thanks to Tom, John, Dan, George, Chuck, and Mr.& Mrs. Summers for being a positive influence on who I am today, as a person. Thanks guys. It's always meant alot to me and I've never said anything to you.

AND YOU, MY MINIONS?
Well, jeez, I only got one answer from you on my Thanksgiving poll. I know you guys are reading. How about a little participation, huh? Why so quiet out there? You afraid to bare your souls to the world at a website viewed by tens? Don't be weak. Stand up! Voice an opinion.

How about this? Send me, or post a response here telling us how someone (family, friend, whatever) influenced you to be who you are. Where does your sense of humor come from? Who did you get your drive from? Who taught you how to play cards, or golf, or an instrument? Anything. You're all starving me out there. Except for Uncle Bob, the Mixologist, I haven't heard from you people in a long time. Someone save my life tonight, sugar bear. Let me hear you.

Show me that LEN IS RIGHT!!
I am,
Len Tollerton

FIRST ANSWER TO POLL QUESTION

Hey:
I have my first and only answer, so far, to my Thanksgivng poll question.
Uncle Bob the Mixologist suggests this Thanksgiving cocktail:

Wild Turkey and Cranberry juice. Salud!!

BOB IS RIGHT!!!!!